Mercenaries, Scrubs, and A Whole Lot of Level-Grinding
by 3-13 Sniper
Summary: Being thrown into another universe by the scruff of my neck courtesy of a god of chaos wasn't my imagination of a good time. Dealing with shape-shifting warriors, racist bigots, and plot contracts isn't fun either. But with a lifelong partner or two and the power to live my life like a game, I just might be able to salvage some good experiences from this mess. (An OC-SI Gamer fic.)
1. Prologue - Filthy Casual

The first thing I saw when I regained awareness was… well, actually, I didn't see anything.

Technically, though, I was looking at something, but I was fooled into thinking that my eyes were somehow still closed because I was seeing nothing but black.

Eventually, I realized that my eyes were in fact open, and I was staring out into what could only be described as the cold vacuum of space. Only without all the stars, planets, and what-have-you that you would expect to see if you found yourself flung millions of miles away from solid ground.

I tried looking around, and found out that while there was no light source to speak of that I could see, my entire body looked to be illuminated from all possible sides - as in, there were no shadows to be found at any given point. Which naturally freaked me out. Something like that shouldn't be possible.

These were my first few clues to figuring out that I wasn't in Kansas anymore. (Well, actually California, but let me have my reference.)

The second was… what happened next.

While I was preoccupied, obsessing over the lighting system failure, blue flames appeared below me. Or what counted as 'below' me, but moving on. With my head and eyes moving around as they were, it wasn't long before I spotted the phenomenon.

The flames gradually increased in size… or were they getting closer?

The answer was both - and once they reached my position, they flowed up and around me in a spiraling shape, then coalesced in front of me to form a single flame. I determined it to be about as big as my head.

After that, I noticed something was starting to materialize out of thin not-air in the center.

It seemed… small. Like it could sit in my hand and still leave room for the fingers to curl up.

When it completely came into existence, it started moving towards me.

As it got closer, I tried to decipher what exactly it was.

The answer?

A small blue medallion. Or was it green?

_Wait. This seems familiar. Where have I seen this before?_

_Let me think. Blue fire… small medallion…_

_Oh._

_I know what this is._

When Lehran's Medallion got within arms' reach, it stopped.

The flames surrounding it moved again, this time forming… letters?

**Do you know what this is?**

I nodded. "Yes."

**Do you know what it can do?**

Another nod. "Yes."

**Would you be willing to guard it?**

That was… a little harder to answer. I took some time to think before voicing my thoughts. "Not if anyone else could."

**Why is that?**

"I'm not cut out for it. If there was nobody else who could take the job, I'd do it, but if there was someone else, chances are they'd be much better qualified than me."

**Why do you say that?**

"This thing comes from a world where one wrong move, one unlucky roll of the dice, can get anyone - even someone who may seem invincible - a ticket for an an all-expenses-paid one-way trip to the afterlife, with forced instant usage, no exceptions. Me, on the other hand? I'm a bystander. A nobody. My homeland is one where you're allowed to make mistakes. A limited number of mistakes, but still. I'm used to having a safety net. And if there's one thing that's true about me, it's this - I'm not a hero. Never was, never have been, never will be."

**No, it's not.**

"Really? How come?"

**You have the potential. Every fleshling does. What you lack is the drive.**

'_Fleshling?'_

"Well, duh, I know that. After all, it's pretty much what every single one of my teachers has been telling me since first grade. 'If you only cared enough and put in the effort, you could be getting straight A's', they say. Like it'll actually be worth something. Pfeh. What a riot."

**Then why do you do nothing to change that?**

"I don't have a reason. My world's no place for a hero. And even if it was, it wouldn't matter - we're too far gone. Have been for a while now. Someday, the planet's gonna die out, but what do we care? We'll all either be long dead or on another planet entirely by that point, right?"

**What if I gave you a reason?**

"What?"

**A reason to stand up. A reason to pick up a weapon. A reason to fight for what you believe in. A reason to be a hero. What if you had that?**

"I think I'd be a better person. Definitely less depressed, a little more optimistic, a lot more motivated… all the qualities of a budding people's champion. Why, are you saying you could give me that?"

**Maybe.**

"Uh… okay? Where is this going?"

**Someplace that I think you'll both hate and love.**

"Wow. That's not ominous at all."

**I have to leave soon. But before I do, let me give you a little something.**

"That's fine. I'm sure you have a lot of business to attend to."

**Not particularly. But explaining that would take too long, and I'm already running on borrowed time. Here you go.**

A small pinprick of light emerged from the jewel in the medallion's center. Almost immediately, it sallied forth and sunk through my chest, creating a strange whitish-blue rippling effect. Kind of like when a water droplet falls into a still pond.

**Good. But I'm afraid this will be the last you'll see of me for quite a while. I'm sure you can figure out this next part fairly quickly.**

In that moment, a question came to me from out of the blue. Seeing no reason not to speak, I asked it.

"Just out of curiosity, could I get a description of what I should be looking for if I ever want to find you?"

**Sure. Search for a combination of orange, red, and golden yellow. Oh, and lots of feathers, too.**

_Lots of feathers…? Does it mean a bir-_

_Wait._

_Lehran's Medallion._

_Blue flames._

_Red, orange, and yellow bird._

_And especially that 'fleshling' remark._

_Was… have I been talking to Yune this whole time?_

My train of thought was abruptly derailed when the flames suddenly covered the medallion. When they ceased obstructing the view, the little plot device was gone. The blue fire burned out shortly after that, returning me to the endless expanse of nothingness.

_Guess she's gone, then. I never got a chance to ask her anything meaningful._

_Oh, well. It's not like I'll never see her again, anyways. All I have to do is survive for three years on a continent where magic, massive dragons, and swords that shoot blade beams exist._

_Assuming this is going where I think it is, of course. Which I'm almost certain it is._

_I mean, come on. It's got all the signs. Black void, conversation with an omnipotent being (well, not really omnipotent, but she's still a goddess, so she technically counts), and a gift from said omnipotent being. A gift which will either turn me into an overpowered chick magnet, or an underdog who fails a lot but still succeeds when it counts._

My thought process was once again interrupted by the appearance of what looked like a… command interface window? Or was it a command prompt window? Whatever it is the damn thing's called these days.

**Setup .config has finished running**

**Configuration Settings set to default**

**Running system .exe…**

**Performing first time setup…**

_First time setup? Isn't that something that games that run with Steam do whenever you run it for the first time on a rig that's never played it before?_

It stayed like that for a couple of seconds, then a new line appeared.

**Are you a boy or a girl? Y/N**

_Uhhh…_

**If you are a boy, press Y**

**If you are a girl, press N**

_Well, okay then, Professor Oak._

I did what any sensible man would do in this situation and pressed Y.

_Yeah, I just said 'sensible man.' Suck it, Tumblr-ites._

**boolean 'genderMale' set to 'True'**

**boolean 'genderFemale' set to 'False'**

_Wait a minute, 'boolean?' Is this Java?_

**First time setup complete**

**Running dropZone .config…**

**variable 'dropZone' set to 'Crimea'**

_Something's going on. Is this what I think it is? I bet it is._

**Running classPick .config…**

**variable 'class' set to 'Freelancer'**

**variable 'level' set to '1'**

**variable 'exp' set to '0'**

**variable 'race' set to 'Human'**

**variable 'unitType' set to 'Infantry'**

**variable 'skillCap' set to '20'**

**variable 'Shove' assigned to 'skillList'**

_There's the 'eureka' clue. I'm almost certain of what's happening now._

**Running statSet .config…**

**variable 'hp' set to '18'**

**variable 'str' set to '5'**

**variable 'mag' set to '4'**

**variable 'skl' set to '5'**

**variable 'spd' set to '6'**

**variable 'lck' set to '5'**

**variable 'def' set to '4'**

**variable 'res' set to '3'**

**variable 'bld' set to '8'**

**variable 'wgt' set to '8'**

**variable 'swordRank' set to 'E'**

**variable 'darkMagicRank' set to 'E'**

**variable 'affinity' set to 'Earth'**

_Ooohhh. There's my main weapon types. I'm gonna be hard-pressed to find any dark tomes, though…_

_And my affinity is Earth, huh. Fitting, considering the personalities of everyone else who has it here. Generally laid-back and nice, but not afraid to step up if you wrong them._

**Running skillSet .config…**

**variable 'Gamer's Body' assigned to 'skillList'**

**variable 'Gamer's Mind' assigned to 'skillList'**

**variable 'Apathy' assigned to 'skillList'**

**variable 'Emulator' assigned to 'skillList'**

_Wow. Four skills at base. I'd call myself overpowered, but I don't know what Apathy and Emulator do, so I'll be holding off that judgement until later._

**First time setup complete.**

**Initializing…**

And with that, I blacked out.

* * *

**A/N: Apologies if I made anyone dry-heave with my poorly-written C. I haven't taken a programming class in a while, and code in general is a little difficult to remember off the top of your head without years of constant experience.**

**Anyway, here's something I cooked up quite a few months ago after seeing an overabundance of gamer-type fics focusing exclusively on the 3DS games. Now, that's all well and good - they are relatively optimal settings for gamers given their plot flexibility (which is as much a compliment as it is a criticism). But after combing through the archives and finding a shocking lack of self-inserts focusing on the wonderful world of Tellius (Spellbinding Radiance and Path of Wyverns notwithstanding), I decided to try my own hand at it. Let it be known right now that I have absolutely no idea where this is going to go - like I display on my profile, I'm already a decent chunk of the way into this shebang, and I'm only just beginning to work out the barest bones of an overall plot.**

**I know I'm trying to stand on the shoulders of giants, and that I'm inevitably going to stumble and take a dive off the edge... but that won't stop me from trying my damndest to do my best while I'm up here.**

**See you all soon.**

**[TRANSMISSION ENDED]**


	2. Read the Freaking Manual

The next time I woke up, I was in a bed. My thoughts on that?

_Thank god I didn't wake up in an open field. I'm all for mythology gags, but pulling a Robin has been done to death already. Then again, isn't the 'unfamiliar ceiling' bit also kind of a cliché itself? Well, whatever._

Climbing off revealed that I had somehow acquired some new duds. Those being a fitted black T-shirt lined with lighter gray highlights in choice spots, long pants somewhere between beige and tan that were tucked into shin-length brown boots, and a leather vest for light protection. Accessories included pads on the knees and elbows as well as leather gloves, and not one, but _two _shoulder guards. Revolutionary, I know - sword-wielding heroes always seem to favor wearing one, and no more.

One thing that pleased me about this new outfit was the general lack of belts. The only one I had was located on my waist - and as far as I was concerned, that was all I needed.

Taking a look around the room I was in, I concluded that I had wound up in an inn or tavern of some kind. It didn't seem very personalized, only containing the bed, some drawers, and a door. In fact, it could be compared to a modern dorm room if there were a few more beds.

This also led to two more discoveries - those being a sword propped up against the wall, and a darkly-colored hooded cloak hanging on the door.

A closer look at the blade revealed it to be a simple Bronze Sword. Amazing durability, the second easiest of all swords to use, beaten only by the Trainer, and one of the easiest to hit with, but the weakest of all in terms of power, coupled with an inability to crit. In short, a beginner's best friend. Sadly enough, it's beaten in nearly every category by the Iron Sword, which is just as easy to wield and noticeably more dangerous.

This led to a bit of a confusion. Why? Simple - Bronze Swords _didn't exist _in Path of Radiance. While they did appear in Radiant Dawn, their purpose was mostly so Jeigan characters didn't accidentally trigger critical hits when trying to set up kills for weaker units. Yes, certain characters did come equipped with them starting off, but they were only there as filler until the unit got better equipment.

_I suppose it's only fitting. I've never been Joe Athlete, and while I do work out sometimes, my regime is nowhere near as efficient as 90% of the playable characters in this universe. Starting out with a Bronze weapon symbolizes the spot I'm currently at - the bottom. I have nowhere else to go but up. I bet that by the end of RD's plotline, I'll be capable of wielding the Vague Katti and Alondite like it's no big deal. _

_Not that I would - Alondite's going straight to the hands of Mist if I have anything to say about it, and I suppose that the Vague Katti could be considered Stefan's personal weapon, so I doubt he'd have a good reason to part with it given that if RD canon is anything to go by, he was the only one who used it during the Mad King's War._

_Oh well. Though, there's always the forge. Those with all the gold find that it can crank out five-star weapons damn near every day. Or at least before every major battle. And what with string bean Ike getting almost as much dosh as freaking Marth, that'll likely be happening very often. Of course, it'll calm down significantly once he gets buff. Funny how pretty much everyone in Part 3 always ends up strapped for cash in some way. Damned bargain items…_

I decided to cut off my scatterbrained rant by turning my attention towards the cloak.

_Jeez. This thing looks like it was stolen from the Grim Reaper's personal wardrobe. What, am I gonna find a scythe or something to go along with it?_

_...actually, not gonna lie, that does kinda sound badass. Hmm._

It was then that I realized something.

_Wait. Most of my attire is black. Daein's army wears exclusively black armor._

_...fuck. Should probably find Greil's fort or the good mercs soon, before Melior gets rekt._

_Then again, there might be merit in passing myself off as a soldier if I ever run into a stray platoon. Sure, the chances of it working are minuscule, but at least it's something. Maybe I could enlist as a double agent. Like pretty much every popular Self-Insert that's been here so far. But then I run the risk of getting assigned under someone like Petrine…_

_Bleh. Too many questions, not enough answers. Nothing changes the fact that I need to get moving._

_I remember that my drop zone was set to Crimea, but I have no idea where in Crimea I am. For all I know, I could be near Riven Bridge, or Ohma, or even Caldea. So… first task, find a map and chart my position. Or find a different way to figure out where I am._

It took all of ten seconds to remember that I was The Gamer. It took another twenty to properly admonish and ridicule myself for forgetting that before opening up the main menu and selecting the World Map option.

Doing that revealed that I was near the southern edge of the country, close to the Begnion border. Right next to Flaguerre, actually - the fort that falls to the Laguz Alliance during Part 3's prologue chapter.

_Okay, I know where I am now. What to do next…_

_Plot recap. So, early game goes… training with Cool Dad and Boii, mission in Caldea with Critania and Sir Neckstab, rescue Best Valkyrie and ROFL while Rice is relevant for the 1st of 8 maps before Best Little Sister recruits herself and benches him, mission with Shit On and Gay Tree to fight rockstars and save Crackers, defending Ft. Greil, encounter with Daein near Melior, find Flying Staff-Bot, Solid Snaking across the border river while 'Pole Dancing', make it to Gallia, run back to Crimea to find Grill, recruit Discount Zekken while Better Eyvel spitroasts Genderbent Gordon Ramsey with her own flame lance, run back to Gebal, Disney Parent gets weapon triangled by Burger King, Jerkass and Bosswin board the Nope Train, defense chapter with Hungry Girl, get saved by Tsundere and Bluejay, Yar Har Ho and cotton candy on a flying horse, prison break feat. Mr. 50 Gold with Mounted Summoner, Bad Armor Knight and Great-Waifu-Shitty-Unit, then run to Toha and set sail for Racist Land with Furry SJW and Betrayal in tow._

_Wow, that sentence was long. But I think that covers everything from chapters 0 to 11. Everything after that is boat maps, boring politics, LOLiver, and steamrolling Daein. So the million-gold question now is… what's my course of action?_

_Well… my options._

_1: Find the mercs as soon as possible and sign up._

_2: Enlist in Nohr's army. Alternatively, get captured by it._

_3: Run to discount America and wait for the plot while studying Dark Magic (it's ANCIENT magic, thank you very much!) because this world needs more Shamen._

_4: Go to Gallia and get my face ripped off by anthro racists._

_Hm._

Options 3 and 4 were discarded quickly.

_If I'm here, it's very likely that it's for a good reason. Maybe something's been changed from the original sequence of events and I need to correct it. _

_Heh. Now there's something I never thought I'd be saying in the proper context. _

_Still can't believe that I, of all people, was picked for the job. Though I suppose that the system coupled with Gamer's Mind and Body could turn anyone into a nigh-unstoppable killing machine provided they have the right worldview and mindset._

_Anyway, back to the choice._

_I'd like to go with number 1… but I have a feeling I might end up doing number 2 instead, for a number of reasons. Daein spreads through Crimea pretty damned fast from what I remember, and I don't think it would be unlikely that I'd get caught by a wandering patrol. Chances are they'd find out about my potential for growth and draft me without a second thought. But if that happens, I run the risk of getting reassigned to somewhere that won't be attacked for a long while. Argh…_

_I suppose my best bet is to get myself locked up in a prison by resisting. Hopefully I'll end up sharing a cell with someone I know. Hell, if I'm lucky, I might get an early meeting with someone like Mia or Neph-Neph._

_But that's then. Now, I need to get moving. Wonder if I'll run into some free bandit EXP._

My musings were cut short with the appearance of a text box. A Path of Radiance-styled one, to be precise.

**-{?}-**

**Hello!**

"Hello, yourself. You took your time."

**-{?}-**

**Looks like I did! Sorry about that.**

**Wow, you managed an exposition dump before I got here. That's actually kind of impressive.**

"That's debatable. I bet someone could have fit an entire chapter into that spot and made it feel natural."

**-{?}-**

**Aww, chin up! I'm sure you did your be-**

**Wait.**

**Did you just say 'chapter'?**

"Yeah. This kinda thing only happens in stories, so it stands to reason that I'm living one right now. Speaking of which…"

I turned to face the direction that was the most logical camera point in my mind and did a friendly little wave.

"Hi, audience! Or… readers! Or… whatever you prefer to be called! You're either very brave, stupid, bored, or masochistic for reading this, and that deserves respect!"

I then took a moment to think about what I said.

"Well… actually, not if you're stupid, bored, or masochistic. Then you're just… well, one or more of those three."

**-{?}-**

**Hey, now, don't you think that was a little uncalled for?**

"Not in the least."

**-{?}-**

**You can really be a dick if you're in the mood, can't you?**

"Oh, yeah. You obviously don't know me very well if that's news to you."

**-{?}-**

**You're right, I don't. You feel like fixing that?**

"I would, but I can't exactly do that if I don't know your name, now can I?"

**-{?}-**

**Oh, right! Sorry.**

**I know I can get carried away sometimes…**

**Anyway, I'm Anna! Secret Seller Extraordinaire!**

"Well, whaddaya know. In hindsight, I probably should have expected that, given that you _are_ Tellius' Tutorial Girl."

**-{Anna}-**

**Yup!**

**I've been educating newbies like you since 2005!**

"Nice. Hey, could you do me a favor and give my regards to your RNGoddess sister? I would like it very much if I could avoid being screwed over by the cheating bastard computer right when I really don't want to."

**-{Anna}-**

**Well…**

**I can grant you your favor, but I'm afraid you'll have to suck it up and face the numbers. **

**Sorry, but no exceptions! Or at least, that's what she always says.**

**Who knows, she might end up listening to you and rig the system a little bit more in your favor. Stranger things have happened.**

**I doubt it will, though.**

"Sheesh, thanks _so much _for the vote of confidence. Really feel like taking the world on, ya know? Inspiring stuff."

**-{Anna}-**

**Oh, put a sock in it. And you still haven't told me your name yet!**

_Oh… right._

"Ah. Uhhhh…"

**-{Anna}-**

**You're trying to come up with a good alias, aren't you?**

"Yeah, I am, now shut it. I need to think."

Carefully running through a list of possibilities led to a choice being made.

"...Andrew. Call me Andrew."

**-{Anna}-**

**Let me check that…**

**Huh, looks like Andrew hasn't been taken yet. You're in luck!**

**Out of curiosity, why'd you pick it?**

"Well, once I knew that my real name wasn't really a good idea here, I decided to go with the name my parents were slated to give me before my mom changed her mind at the last second. Satisfied?"

**-{Anna}-**

**Yes.**

**Now, what say we get to the reason I'm here and start you off?**

"Yeah, that'd be great."

_Shame I don't have a coffee mug and a white-collar-job outfit. Would have made that line so much better._

**-{Anna}-**

**All righty, then! **

**First off - the main menu. You'll want to bring this up by soft-commanding 'menu.' But you probably already knew that.**

**Alternatively, you can also use hard-commands, but we recommend not doing that when you're in a group.**

Doing as the red-haired guide asked, I called up the main menu. As you might expect, it was styled after a Battle Preparations menu. Options included World Map, Unit Status, Settings, and Convoy.

**-{Anna}-**

**Kind of underwhelming, isn't it?**

**You'd expect there to be more options, but since this game is a lot more real than usual, lots of things had to be cut to keep the immersion. **

**So… sorry, but I'm afraid you won't be able to save or load.**

_Welp, there goes any chance of save-scumming. Shit. I might have to follow Mist to make sure Ike doesn't pass the turn count requirement during the Black Knight fight._

**-{Anna}-**

**You've already checked out the world map and you know your lore, (maybe a little too much,) so we won't be covering that option.**

**Anyway, to select a menu, you can either tap it or soft-command its name.**

**With that said, bring up the Unit Status menu. **

Following the instructions, a new screen appeared.

**-{Anna}-**

**Notice how similar it looks to the 'Unit' menu option in the original game? **

**That's because it works mostly the same way - with this menu, you can access the stat page of anybody that you are currently traveling with, or in the same army as.**

**Their basic stats, class, level, weapon proficiency, support partners, and potential talk conversation partners can also be shown by scrolling left or right.**

**Keep in mind that nameless soldiers or civilians won't show up here.**

_Okay… got it._

**-{Anna}-**

**Soft-command 'Close' or 'Back' to return to the main menu.**

'_Close.'_

**-{Anna}-**

**Next up, the Convoy.**

**Try selecting it now.**

This brought up another new screen.

**-{Anna}-**

**I bet this brings back a lot of management memories, eh?**

**In any case, all of your weapons and items will be shown in here.**

**Since clothing, armor, and other things that affect your appearance are controlled by your class, any changes to them will be completely cosmetic, and therefore will not be shown here.**

_That actually makes sense. Changes in appearances are often reflective of character growth in this series. Clever._

**-{Anna}-**

**I'm pretty sure you already know how this thing works, but I'll give you a refresher just in case.**

**The convoy is divided into 12 sections - Swords, Lances, Axes, Bows, Fire magic, Thunder magic, Wind magic, Light magic, Dark magic, Staves, Knives, and Other.**

**Each section contains weapons that are classified as their respective type.**

**The Other section contains healing items, stat-boosting items, equippable items that aren't weapons, and other miscellaneous things.**

**If you have more than one of any item, they will automatically be stacked on top of each other.**

_Nice, nice. Looks good so far._

**-{Anna}-**

**Right now, though, as you can see, it's totally empty. But fret not - I'm sure we both know how fast this bad boy will fill up once you get into the thick of things.**

**However, because it's totally empty, I can't give you the full tutorial on the convoy just yet. **

**Don't worry, you'll get it soon, you just have to get some gear first. And I can guarantee you, you won't have to wait long.**

_Aww. Oh, well. I'll just have to suck it up._

**-{Anna}-**

**Now, return to the main menu.**

'_Close.'_

**-{Anna}-**

**Finally, settings. **

**I bet you can already guess what this does, but let's find out if that's accurate. **

**Select the last menu.**

Doing so caused a screen with a scroll-bar to pop up. Said screen was filled with all manner of different options to be edited at a moment's notice.

**-{Anna}-**

**All of this affects you and only you. **

**Everything here can be changed to suit your needs, though we do recommend staying away from certain aspects that may cause discomfort if changed too much, like Brightness or Volume.**

**But you're smart enough to figure out what you want your experience to be like, so I'll leave you to it.**

**Once you're done messing around, close the menu. **

**Keep in mind that if you feel something isn't right, you can always revisit the settings and swap it out for something different.**

With that, I began the tried and true method of trial and error editing.

I ended up turning on subtitles for obvious reasons. I also turned on the bleep-censor for comedy reasons. While I would try to refrain from swearing too much, I would also turn it off if the situation had no room for humor.

Adhering to Anna's advice, I kept my fingers far from anything that might seriously disorient me. This included things like the aforementioned Brightness and Volume, as well as Field of View and Resolution, among others.

I felt like turning on always-visible health bars complete with actual HP values was a good idea, so up they went.

Once I saw that I could display any abnormal skills that an enemy unit had at all times, that switch was flipped faster than a speeding Ayra. Checking for combat skills was much more tedious back during the single-screen days on account of them not showing up in the pop-up unit menu, and I often couldn't be bothered to skim through every single enemy unit's detailed info page looking for a random skill that just might end up ruining my day. This option could quite possibly save my life someday.

I went on to make a few other tiny quality-of-life changes for a bit, but I won't bore you any more with the details.

'_Close.'_

**-{Anna}-**

**Okay, that's everything you can do in the main menu. But we're not quite done yet.**

**Go pick up your shiny new Bronze Sword. And while you're at it, check some of the drawers, too.**

Performing those actions prompted some small yet easily recognizable pop-up windows to appear.

**Received a Bronze Sword.**

**Received a Vulnerary.**

Both were accompanied by Tellius's rendition of the classic 'item get' jingle.

**-{Anna}-**

**And now that that's done, we can move on to the fun part of prepping for battle - kitting yourself out!**

**Soft-command 'Inventory.' You're gonna love this, I can already tell.**

This new menu was much more traditionally styled, in a sense. However, it was also simplified, in a way.

Taking up the entirety of the left side was a fully 3-D model of myself, gear and everything. Tall and lanky 5'11" frame, short and curly brownish hair, blue-steel eyes (totally didn't steal that from Zoolander, honest), and to top it all off, a face that had never known a razor - wispy hairs taking the vague shape of a small yet noticeable pencil mustache, anchor beard, and sideburns. On the top to mid-right, there were 5 separate slots. 3 of them were stacked one on top of the other, but the last 2 were spaced apart from each other. The lower right contained my combat stats - attack power, accuracy, evasion, critical rate, and so on.

**-{Anna}-**

**Say hello to the Equipment menu! **

**This nifty little tool displays everything you need to know about your - you guessed it - current equipment!**

**Since this is something I seriously doubt you've seen in any other game in this series, I'm legally obligated to show you the ropes on how it works.**

_Phew. Reading the fucking manual is so much more boring than being lectured on the topic by a red-haired merchant that obsesses over money with the single most ridiculous family tree anyone's ever seen. Well, besides maybe a Loptous inheritor._

**-{Anna}-**

**First, direct your attention to the left. **

**Now, who might this handsome devil be? Well, in case you haven't been convinced already, that's you!**

**This spot is all about your outward appearance. As you make your way through the stories of Tellius's various heroes, level up, get stronger, and build relationships with fellow army members, you'll unlock newer and spiffier looks. **

**These new threads will become classified as 'costumes,' and using this menu, you'll be able to swap into any which one you have at any given moment. Well, except if you're in a battle.**

_Okay, now THAT is awesome. The simple fact that I can revert my look back to my base class even while promoted is practically revolutionary on its own. But this? This is completely unprecedented. It's starting to get kind of hard to dislike my situation, loath as I am to admit it._

**-{Anna}-**

**In fact… how about we give it a go right now?**

**Grab that cloak hanging on the door.**

_Wait, what - oooohhhhh. Now I see why it's really there. Oh, this is gonna be so totally fuckin' rad…_

Picking up the cloak caused it to disappear.

**Received the Wanderer's Cloak.**

**The Stick-Eater costume has been unlocked.**

**The Concealed Nomad costume has been unlocked.**

While the costume unlock notifications looked similar to the item acquisition pop-ups, the jingle accompanying them was actually a revamped version of the 'Recieved X Gold' ditty from Genealogy of the Holy War.

**-{Anna}-**

**Good. Now, check the area above your model.**

**That little tab there displays the costume you currently have equipped.**

**Try changing it and seeing what happens!**

Selecting the tab, (which was currently set to 'Freelancer',) I saw the two new costumes appear as drop-down options. I decided to try the 'Stick-Eater' costume first. Upon selecting it, the model suddenly changed to include the cloak as part of my current wardrobe, with the hood pulled up so far it went over my eyes. Surprisingly enough, I could still see like nothing was obscuring my vision.

Looking at my new style and checking the costume name again, I then caught on to the reference.

_Who would have thought that whoever made this would include a nod to Bone, of all things?_

Swapping to the Concealed Nomad version, the only noticeable change was that my hood was now down, revealing my head.

**-{Anna}-**

**Looking good, player!**

**As you can see, you can swap costumes at any point as long as you have the clothes for them.**

**With that explained, now we can move on to what actually matters to your survival - your combat equipment!**

**Check the upper-right side of the screen. Take note of the little boxes here.**

**These three up here are for holding weapons - your Bronze Sword was automatically put here when you picked it up.**

**This one in the middle is for consumable items, like the Vulnerary you grabbed.**

**The one on the bottom is for equippable items. Surprisingly enough, the cloak you just took is classified as one of these.**

**Select any item for a more detailed description of it.**

_Huh. That's actually a pretty intuitive system. It makes realistic sense to only carry three weapons of any type at any given moment. The other two make sense due to pouches and what-not, and the equipped item typically being a small accessory like a band or a necklace of some sort._

**-{Anna}-**

**This may seem a little underwhelming, given that the usual capacity for units in this world is at least 7 of any item, but don't worry. You'll find that certain areas will get boosts upon promotion.**

_This game just keeps surprising me, doesn't it? All of it just makes so much sense. I wonder why they haven't tried this anywhere else…_

My thoughts trail off as I take a closer look at my cloak.

**Wanderer's Cloak**

**A hooded garment that excels at hiding the wearer's identity. Prevents the wearer's affiliation from being displayed. Grants the Shade skill to the wearer. Cannot be used by laguz.**

The unique properties described reminded me of certain items from Thracia 776, like the Paragon Blade or Mareeta's Sword, in the sense that they could grant skills to the wielder as long as the weapon was equipped.

_Too bad it only grants Shade. Enemy priority is really weird in Tellius, or at least in PoR, usually to the point where it seems like Shade and Provoke flat-out fail to activate at times. It got better in RD, but it still has its moments. Then again, it might have a different effect given how much more realistic this new game is. Wonder if I'll be able to check skill descriptions…_

**-{Anna}-**

**Ooohhh, looks like this beauty gives you an extra ability whenever you wear it! What say we go check out if you've got the skills to pay the bills?**

**Soft-command 'Status' to view your detailed info page.**

Doing so brought up a much more familiar version of a stats page. Right now, it was almost a carbon copy of Path of Radiance's. Although, there were a few tweaks here and there, notably that it now showed Authority Stars. Normally you'd think I wouldn't have any, but surprisingly, my page proudly displayed a single star. Theories on how this came to be floated through my brain, until I settled on one.

_It's gotta be because of my Boy Scout history. One does not simply reach the rank of Life Scout without gaining leadership skills. If Yune has waited until I was 18, I'd probably be an Eagle by then. But nooo, she had to pull me now. I guess I'll just have to make do._

After squaring that away, I flipped to my skills page, and zoomed in on the four natural and one artificial skills I had.

**Gamer's Body**

**Turns the user's body into that of a Fire Emblem Unit, along with all its benefits - All attacks taken have no outward effect and are instead subtracted from HP, stamina is unlimited, sustenance like food or drinks is no longer required for survival, sleep is unneeded, and other such bonuses.**

**Gamer's Mind**

**Fools the user's brain into treating the world like it's still being viewed from behind a screen. Prevents emotional overloads from affecting decision-making, and renders the Sleep and Berserk statuses useless on the user.**

**Apathy**

**This unit is not affected by Biorhythm. **

**Emulator**

**Allows the unit to copy an allied unit's weapon ranks and skills for one battle, letting them use any weapon that the gained ranks permit. No weapon experience will be gained for weapon types that the user's class cannot wield. This skill cannot be used on the same ally twice in a row.**

**Shade**

**Allows the user to blend in with the environment and remain undetected by enemies. If an unaware enemy is attacked after this skill is successfully used, grants a 1.5 damage and accuracy multiplier, plus a significant critical chance bonus. Beware - units with high Skill and Luck may cancel the effect. This skill does not work on enemies protected by thrones, gates, or any other seizable terrain, and has no effect on stationary bosses.**

_Oh-ho-ho MAN. That's almost all kinds of broken. And hooray for Ilyana getting a major usefulness boost! God knows it'll help out once RD's storyline comes around, no thanks to Thunder magic taking a major dive in quality for some reason._

_No Biorhythm… ehh, it was practically unnoticeable in PoR and it only served to screw me over when it started mattering, so I'm pretty neutral on that not affecting me._

_I wonder… if I use Emulator on someone like Stefan, do I not get weapon EXP because his sword rank is already capped out? Hmm… I'll have to try that later._

**-{Anna}-**

**Well, look at you go! 5 whole skills, and only one of them isn't natural!**

**I'd say you'll be fine if you happen to run into any unsavory folk.**

**Which will inevitably happen, given this series' penchant for throwing bandits at you non-stop for the first three or so maps.**

"Well, obviously. I swear, the only games that don't do that are Thracia, Mystery of the Emblem, and Fates. And technically Sacred Stones, I guess. That's only around 5 of the 15 mainstream titles, one being a remake."

**-{Anna}-**

**While we're on the subject of combat ability, I'd like to take a moment to explain how the leveling system works.**

**We'll let you know that there is a level cap, but it takes so long to reach that practically nobody will ever hit it naturally. **

**If you do somehow manage that, well… you're either really dedicated or really bored. Or both.**

**Promotions work the same as they did in the games - although items like Master Seals no longer exist to provide a better sense of growth. **

**All you need to do is hit your class's level cap, then gain another level.**

**Now, you may have noticed during the first time setup that you weren't shown your own growth rates. **

_Huh… come to think of it, she's right. All I saw were my base stats. What does that mean?_

**-{Anna}-**

**This ties into how leveling works in this game.**

**You see, every time you level up, the computer generates a random number between 1 and 100. The number it generates determines how many stat points that you recieve from the level-up.**

**The gains are as follows: **

**1 through 30 nets you 3, **

**31 through 55 gets you 4, **

**56 through 75 nabs you 5, **

**76 through 90 lets you gain 6, **

**and 91 through 100 gives you a lucky 7.**

**You're then given the chance to choose which stats you want to boost. **

**Keep in mind that a stat can only be increased once every time you level up, and that all points must be spent when they are gained. No hoarding for you.**

**And you'll want to remember that this leveling system is exclusive to you and you alone. Everyone else has to gain strength the old fashioned way - good, hard training and surviving battles. **

**Their levels are calculated based on their statistical limitations, not the other way around. Of course, this often leads to some pretty interesting match-ups if they end up fighting you.**

_Heh. Imagine if I did so much grinding that I could go one-on-one with Petrine during her first appearance. Not that it would matter, since she'd get stomped by Greil anyway. Kinda fitting how hard he trounced her given their choice of weapons. Not to mention that Urvan gives a Res-boost._

**-{Anna}-**

**Anyway, that's all I've got regarding tutorials at the moment. **

**If something comes up later that you would like explained, don't hesitate to ask.**

**I mean it - I forgot to mention earlier that I'm your personal ghostly guide for this little game of ours. **

**For better or worse, we're stuck with each other for the rest of your time here. **

**You'll want to get used to me if you're fond of making the most out of opportunities like this.**

'_Opportunity', she says. That's a riot. This feels like a crappy job, at best. Even with all the perks, it's still my life and the lives of every beloved player-character on this continent hanging in the balance. No fucking pressure, right? I just hope the payout's worthwhile, otherwise I'll be screaming bloody murder for restitution. But if it turns out to be one of those 'the job is its own reward' things, I swear, I just might stab Ashunera when all's said and done._

**-{Anna}-**

**That kinda thinking is sort of unhealthy, isn't it?**

"What the-hey! Bad Anna! No breaking the fourth wall to read my thoughts!"

**-{Anna}-**

**Sorry, sorry, couldn't resist.**

**In any case, you really do need to leave this spot. You've spent almost ten whole minutes doing nothing but standing in an empty room.**

**If you wanna beat the game, you'll want to be doing more productive stuff than that.**

I hastily moved to open the door after those words.

Upon pulling it open and stepping through, I was greeted with… a beachlike area.

_What?_

Looking behind me, I discovered that the doorway I had passed through not five seconds earlier had disappeared into thin air.

_Again… what?_

**-{Anna}-**

**Riiiight… that.**

**The drop zone subroutine ended up picking these exact coordinates for your starting point, but we figured that enough self-inserts had been pulling a Robin and decided to create an average-looking interdimensional room with a bed for you to wake up in. Aren't we nice?**

"Wow. Uh… thanks, I guess. That was actually kinda nice."

**-{Anna}-**

**You're welcome! Oh, and side note - you may or may not be seeing that room again. **

**Just a little something to keep on the backburner.**

_Interesting. Something tells me it might end up turning into a My Castle variant. I hope it doesn't, though. That would shatter the immersion faster than the time it takes me to bench Lyre._

After taking a little time to appreciate the sick burn, I checked the map again and tried to zoom in. I discovered that I was actually on the banks of the lake that the river in Crimea's center feeds to. If I headed left along the edge, I could bypass the need to use any of the bridges farther up the river and noticeably cut down on my travel time.

With my decision made, I turned in my chosen direction and started walking.

* * *

**A/N: Thus, we are introduced to the MC's Mission Control character - everyone's favorite redheaded merchant. Turns out she was actually a pretty reasonable choice, considering her only appearance in the Tellius games is as the player's guide when watching the in-game tutorials. Without a player, Anna doesn't have a reason to exist. Therefore, Andrew's existence provides a convenient excuse for her to appear in a continent that, strictly speaking, doesn't house any known Annas. Clever writing, or plot convenience? I'll let you decide.**

**In any case, writing her with all her speech patterns intact was a bit of a task. Let me know how good of a job you think I did on her character - was I nearly spot-on, or did I fail to capture her in any way?**

**Anyway, this is the part of the story where Anna gets a jump-start on doing her job. Lots of entry-level game mechanics are explained here, such as how the inventory, cosmetic outfits, some skills, and level-ups work. I'm still not entirely sure if the story will become dominated by the system, if it'll be pushed off to the side and mentioned as an afterthough, or just remain a middle-of-the-road thing. But I suppose that's a problem for future-me.**

**See you all later.**

**[TRANSMISSION ENDED]**


	3. Obligatory Introductory Bandit Map

3 days passed without any notable incidents.

I skirted around the lake, then slowly began to travel further and further away from the Begnion border. Anna told me that it would be a good idea to get out from under the canopy roof, so I headed for the nearest exit from the forest.

At around evening on the 4th day, I finally broke through the tree line that surrounded this wide open area of green plains and rolling hills, which marked my entrance into the Arbor region of Crimea.

"Huh. Quite the view. Nothing like watching the sun set over the plains. I guess this means I can somewhat sympathize with Lyn now."

**-{Anna}-**

**Ain't that the truth.**

"So anyway, where exactly should I be going? I mean, I know I'm supposed to be headed for the Mercenary Fort, but for all I know, Ike and friends could already have left for Gallia by now. So tell me - am I actually going in the correct direction for the plot to happen?"

**-{Anna}-**

**Oh, you don't need to worry about directions. **

**I'm also in charge of keeping you as involved with the original game's events (or at least the ones you won't miss) as possible. **

**That means I always know where you're supposed to go and how you're supposed to get there. **

**I will say that I won't always tell you the 'why' of it, though.**

"Eehn… well, alright. I'll take your word for it. Not like I really have a choice, anyway…"

That was when I saw smoke.

As I made my way over the crest of the next hill, my first bandit encampment came into view. Finding my position to be a great vantage point, I laid down on my belly and performed some good old-fashioned reconnaissance. The camp wasn't big in any sense of the word - there weren't any tents or chairs, and I could count a mere five thugs. The only thing they had to sit on was a solitary log, and that was reserved for what looked to be the leader of the band. They had a fire going that everyone wanted in on, judging by how they were all sitting in a circle around it.

The poor lighting didn't offer much in the way of scrutiny, but I did catch the glint of five different axes scattered around here and there. Cross-referencing that fact with their heavyweight body types, abundance of muscle mass, and especially what little I could see of their faces told me everything I needed to know about their fighting style - as if I couldn't already tell by looking at their info pages.

Comparing my stats to theirs, as well as those of their weapons - which turned out to be Bronze Axes - and trying to remember the hit calculations and triangle boosts for Path of Radiance, I determined the following:

Counting weapon triangle advantage, everyone except for the bandit leader would die in four attacks, as would I. The leader would go down in 5, and would kill me in 3.

My attacks would be nigh-impossible for them to dodge. The 4 thugs would whiff roughly 3 times for every 10 swings, while the leader would only miss around 2.

And since Bronze weapons couldn't trigger crits, nobody here was in danger of dying due to somebody rolling a natural 20.

However, this presented a problem.

Vulneraries, as you well know, (unless you've only played Thracia or Radiant Dawn,) heal 10 HP per use, and come with 3 uses.

However, doing the math revealed that those limitations didn't leave me with enough HP to finish off the leader without dying, assuming all attacks hit their mark.

With this in mind, I turned to my mission control and asked for advice.

"I've run the numbers, and they say that there's at least a 9 out of 10 chance that I will end up dying if I try an assault. Is there any chance of retreat?"

**-{Anna}-**

**Sorry, but no. **

**If you try to go around, you'll lose too much time and miss your chance to join up with the Greil Mercenaries.**

"Really? The camp's not that big. Hell, it's technically not even a camp at all. Who says I couldn't just circle around and leave them to their business? In my eyes, it would be one of the easiest things in the world to do. I'd just have to wait for them to fall asleep and then walk right past. Simple."

**-{Anna}-**

**Uhh… in case you haven't noticed, this is your prologue chapter. **

**A story quest, in essence. It's not exactly something you can deny, at least not without serious consequences.**

My face lost a bit of color as I processed those words. Bringing up the main menu, I discovered that a new tab had appeared, labeled 'Conditions'. Opening it greeted me with with a map of the battleground complete with the position of every unit standing on it complete with map sprites, the two armies involved in the battle and their leaders, victory conditions (those being the bog-standard 'Rout the enemy' at that moment), my current stash of gold, the chapter's name, and total play time. It did indeed reveal that I was, in fact, participating in the new prologue chapter - appropriately titled 'First Blood'.

By this point, my expression was ash-white. My feelings on the matter at hand were summed up thusly:

_Fuck._

**-{Anna}-**

**Why are you so sure of defeat, anyway? You haven't even had the chance to try out the battle system yet!**

That knocked me out of my funk.

_Whaddaya know - she's right. This is only my fourth day in this world, and I haven't seen hide nor hair of any bandit until today. I wasn't even attacked by any animals! Of course I haven't gotten to experience the way combat works in this game - I haven't even had a reason to yet!_

"True. Mind enlightening me a bit on that?"

**-{Anna}-**

**Sure!**

**Now, I'm sure you already know, but the conventional Fire Emblem battle style doesn't really translate very well to the real world. **

**I mean, come on, almost every unit spends two-thirds of it's time during a map doing nothing but standing around, waiting for orders or the enemy's turn to end. **

**Nobody here has the common decency to wait around for potentially minutes - or hours - on end just to get their ten seconds of fame. **

**So, that combat system had to go out the window.**

**This new version is a lot more based off skill and experience rather than rolls of the dice like in the last games. **

**It kinda has to, considering that numerical stats actually translate to physical ability limits rather than just approximations of unit ability used for things like chance-to-hit and damage calculations.**

**Basically, it's like if Fire Emblem had realistic fights. Attacking, dodging, and blocking are how you survive and win battles. **

**Your stats are how you achieve this. **

**Aaaand I just realized you haven't been given a proper explanation of the stats. Better fix that up quick.**

Another window then appeared. It was a fair bit larger than the rest.

**Stat Manual**

**Hit Points/HP: A numerical representation of how much punishment a unit can take before dying or becoming wounded enough to be forced to retreat. If you want to stay alive, keep this above zero at all costs.**

**Strength/Str: A numerical representation of how much weight you can lift. Increasing this will result in a higher physical damage output, along with canceling outright or lessening the speed penalty on heavier weapons.**

**Magic/Mag: A numerical representation of your innate magical power. Increasing this will allow you to deal more damage with tomes, spells, and other such weapons that use magic to attack.**

**Skill/Skl: A numerical representation of how fast your brain can function and how fast bio-electrical commands travel throughout your body. Increasing this will allow you to better predict enemy movements during a scrap, and will also improve reaction time as well as hand-eye coordination and general dexterity.**

**Speed/Spd: A numerical representation of how fast your body can move itself. Increasing this will allow you to dodge enemy attacks more easily, as well as attack more often.**

**Luck/Lck: A numerical representation of how lucky you are. This affects many different things, but the most prominent are your ability to hit and avoid attacks. (Not to the extent of Skill or Speed, but still noticeable.) This also decreases the chances that enemies will trigger critical hits when in combat against you.**

**Defense/Def: A numerical representation of how physically hardy you are. Increasing this will make you take less damage from physical attacks of all kinds. If an enemy's physical attack power is lower than this number, then the attack will either do no damage at all, or chip a single point of HP off the target, depending on where the attack hits the target.**

**Resistance/Res: A numerical representation of how resilient you are against magic. Increasing this will make you take less damage from magical attacks of all kinds, and will decrease the chances of being forcefully inflicted with bad status effects via staves. If an enemy's magical attack power is lower than this number, then the attack will do no damage at all.**

_Interesting… very interesting…_

**-{Anna}-**

**Got all that? Good.**

**Of course, we've still got the classic gameplay staples - double attacks, critical hits, the weapon triangle, all that good stuff.**

"What about the dual trinity of magic?"

**-{Anna}-**

**It's there, but the Anima-Light-Dark trinity won't come into play until advances are made in the plot. And you know what that means. After all, we wouldn't want Rhys to be rendered completely irrelevant, would we?**

"No, I suppose we wouldn't. But I always benched him because of the Arbitrary Headcount Limit, not because he was statistically terrible, though keeping his fragile ass out of trouble when I did use him made me think quite a few times. Pretty much the only reason he got phased out was because I wanted to keep Mist deployed due to her promotion being better, and every other deployment slot was taken up by someone who was both faster and easier to train owing to their combat ability. I doubt that a silly thing like deployment limits will stop Rhys from moving out, at least during missions that aren't restricted plot-wise to a 'small strike team.'"

**-{Anna}-**

**Nice work, Bastian. **

**Yes, the character deployment limit will be removed for the majority of the battles you'll experience in the future. **

**Like you deduced, certain missions will keep the headcount limit for reasons related to the plot. **

**After all, taking an entire army on a stealth mission to sneak into a mansion would seem a bit counter-intuitive, right?**

"You have a point. I would say something about that probably not stopping Ike from doing it anyway if he was pissed enough, but I'd say that even if he was seeing red, he would be able to spot that mistake from a mile away. Of course, if I said that the Black Knight was in the mansion, he'd drop everything and order a full march before I'd have a chance to even finish my sentence. No, wait, that's Sigurd I'm thinking of… or was it Chrom? I dunno, think I lost my train of thought there."

**-{Anna}-**

**Okay, okay, enough getting sidetracked. Back to the task at hand.**

**Thanks to you being given weapon ranks in Swords and Dark magic, you already instinctively know how to use them. **

**You won't be able to find Dark tomes for a while though, as I'm sure you've already figured out. **

**When in battle, those instincts will automatically come out, and you'll be able to control yourself like you're playing a real-time RPG with blocks, dodges, blade locks, standing around and talking about your powers and strengths like it's suddenly a dick-measuring contest, and so on.**

"I feel like nearly every shonen anime ever would take offense to that last one, but why do I care? Go on."

**-{Anna}-**

**In a certain vein, it's quite similar to a reactionary game. **

**Enemies with higher Skill telegraph their attacks much less than they would with low Skill, which is countered by the fact that if you have high Speed, you'll be able to slightly slow down your perception of the world to more easily spot the tells and react accordingly. **

**This really pops out when comparing Swordmasters and Berserkers. **

**You'll find that both of them will take around the same time to beat, and are equally dangerous for entirely different reasons. **

**One is frail and can't really take a punch without folding like a house of cards, but very good at making sure they don't get hit and can chip away a lot of HP owing to their high attack speed and nearly-guaranteed odds to hit their target. **

**The other is much worse at blocking and dodging, but is way better at taking hits that would kill lesser men several times over like a champ, and while they don't land attacks very often, your kids will be feeling the pain they dish out when they do.**

_Very intriguing. It's taking the inherent advantages of each class to their logical conclusion if they were to be put in a real-world setting. This is actually thought out surprisingly well for this kind of story. Normally I'd expect the writer to just go with the standard FE formula and leave it at that, but I guess someone decided they didn't want to stick to traditions. Good on them for being original, but I can only hope this doesn't end up biting them in the ass if it ends up becoming too complicated._

_Wow, I sound like a reviewer. What has the world come to if it has to resort to main characters reviewing their own damn story for quality assurance? God, I feel like the universe could end any second and nobody would blame it for doing so._

**-{Anna}-**

**All this isn't even taking skills into account. **

**But the only people you'll be facing that will actually have these are considered either recruitable or boss characters, who will all have portraits and actual names to set them apart from the crowds of 'Daein', 'Bandit', 'Begnion', and other faction-aligned faceless soldiers. **

**Besides, you won't be running into any enemies with skills for at least a couple chapters, so they won't be needing an explanation quite yet.**

**But in all seriousness, you should probably go put some of this into practice soon. **

**You don't have a lot of time to kill, so it'll be in your best interests to ice these fools as quickly as possible. **

**I'd say it would be better to take them on one at a time, but if you want to run in tomes blazing and screaming 'Leeroy Jenkins!' at the top of your lungs, I won't stop you. **

**At least it'll give all who hear the tales of your not-so-great exploits a good laugh.**

"I'm almost tempted to do that just to see your reaction, but that would undeniably take the top spot of the list of 'stupidest things anyone has ever done in the history of the multiverse', so no. Anyway, advice on how to go about this?"

**-{Anna}-**

**Well, you already have a huge advantage. **

**Check the site again.**

Doing so revealed that while I was chatting with my guide, the bandits had put out the fire and fallen asleep. However, I wasn't given time to ponder how I hadn't noticed the light disappearing, as one of the lackeys gained a green outline.

**-{Anna}-**

**The guy I've marked looks like a light sleeper. **

**If you can wake him up and lead him away, you'll be able to ambush him without drawing the attention of the other four. **

**Search the ground, see if you can find anything small to throw at him. **

**Like a pebble or a tiny stone or something.**

It took longer than it would have to find something matching her description than if the sun was out, but I managed to grab a small clump of dirt that seemed sturdy enough to survive the trip from my hand to the bandit without breaking apart.

"Well, okay then. Time to pick a god and pray that this works…"

Amusingly enough, a combat forecast window appeared as I lined up my shot. As was typical of the formula, my stats were on the left, and my opponent's on my right.

**Andrew**

**Pebble**

**Hp: 18 | 25**

**Dmg: 4 | -**

**Hit: 100 | -**

**Crit: - | -**

**Bandit**

**Unarmed **

"That's cute. Just… y, tho?"

**-{Anna}-**

**Because it was in the contract. Now go!**

Releasing a sigh of exasperation, I regathered my focus and launched the projectile at my target. It ended up smacking him right on the nose.

**+10 EXP**

**A Pebble broke.**

_Oh, shut up. Stop trying to be funny. 'S not working._

The thug shot up into a sitting position almost instantly, swiveling his head around to try and catch a glimpse of the jerk who'd just beaned him in the face while he was snoozing. Finding no luck, he stood up and made to grab his axe, then started walking in one of the possible directions the dirt clod could have come from.

_Strike one: failing to alert his friends that something's wrong._

With his dander up like it was, and the assistance of my artificial Shade skill, it was almost laughably easy for me to sneak up behind him unnoticed. When I judged the time right, I brought my sword to bear and landed two slashes square on his back, knocking him onto his stomach.

**+10 EXP**

_Strike two: not paying enough attention to his surroundings._

Somehow, he gathered enough strength to flip himself onto his back, where he got a good look at his killer before my weapon pierced his head.

**+30 EXP**

_And strike three: forgetting to call for help on his deathbed. This guy is objectively a pathetic excuse for both a bandit and a fighter in general. Yer OUT!_

Stepping away from my kill, something struck me.

"Hey… why can't I just walk up and murder them all in their sleep? It'd be a lot faster than this baiting game."

**-{Anna}-**

**I'm not obligated to tell you that.**

"Sooo… bullshit gameplay reasons?"

**-{Anna}-**

**Shut up!**

"Wow. Rude."

**-{Anna}-**

**Now really isn't the time for this!**

"Have you forgotten that talking is quite literally a free action in this universe?"

**-{Anna}-**

**...**

**...okay, you know what? **

**Just go for it.**

**I don't even care anymore.**

"Awww, u mad?"

**-{Anna}-**

**SHUT. UP.**

**PLEASE.**

_She totally mad._

Relishing my articulately-worded victory over the secret shop proprietor, I walked back over to my starting point.

_And then there were four._

Consulting Anna revealed that none of them would be likely to wake up without alerting the others, so it was time for me to really get in there.

The rudimentary plan I constructed on the fly was as follows: hit them until they die one by one and hope none of them get a chance to scream for assistance. Crude, yes, but effective.

I put the plan into action directly after creating it. Skulking up to my next victim, I plunged my sword through his chest, at the location I was roughly sure his heart was sitting.

**+30 EXP**

Surprisingly enough, he died instantly, despite game mechanics dictating that it would take at least two more strikes to actually put him down.

_Huh. Maybe that's why Anna didn't want me doing this. Killing them all in their sleep without encountering any real resistance makes for a pretty boring prologue chapter. And since I already know that this is a story, well… boring chapters lead to bored readers. _

What did I decide to do about that, you may ask? This.

_But you know what? Fuck them, fuck whoever gave Yune the idea to pull me here, and most importantly, fuck the guy who decided to publish a novelization of my adventures to wherever he did. Why should I give two shits about them when I'm the one who has to deal with all the problems that come with being a self-insert? Including, but not limited to: being almost perpetually outclassed by every important enemy I'm supposed to beat, accidentally making people fall in love with me instead of the people I want them to fall in love with, pulling poorly-written deus-ex-machina victories out of my ass as the plot demands, and every other nonsensical way the writer tries to keep a handle on the power of The Gamer while still making sure I curb-stomp every arc villain during their respective climax, and not earlier or later._

**-{Anna}-**

**I swear, you have the weirdest monologues.**

**What kind of protagonist just goes on a rant about that sort of subject while killing bandits?**

_A genre-savvy one, that's what. Now, shush. These thugs won't kill themselves. Well, actually, they probably would if they tried to chop wood. At the very least, they'd lose a couple fingers. Or maybe they'd de-feet themselves. Ha._

_...that was bad and I should feel bad._

_Wait._

"I thought I already told you to stop peeking at the script to read my thoughts. So STOP DOING IT, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!"

"Zzzzk-wuh?"

"What-oh, _sh*t._"

_**ANNA, GO SUCK MY GOD DAMN DENSE CHODE, YOU MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF HAIRY GARBAGE!**_

**-{Anna}-**

**Oh, that is such legit rage.**

_**YOU CLOSE YOUR SHITTY MOUTH!**_

My outburst had been released a little too close to the camp, and ended up waking up one of the three bandits still alive. I had been sent into panic mode upon hearing his awareness returning to him, and quickly moved to silence him before he could wake up his two remaining friends.

Unfortunately, I wasn't fast enough to stop him from letting out a scream of excruciating pain before dying by impalement.

**+30 EXP**

**LEVEL UP!**

**Number rolled: 92**

**+7 stat points**

When this happened, the world froze around me, and I discovered that I had joined it.

_A plus seven on my first level up during the prologue chapter? If I didn't know any better, I'd say this was rigged. _

**-{Anna}-**

**Believe it or not, no. Your first level just so happened to be a completely legitimate perfect one. You lucky dog!**

_HEY! DID I SAY YOU COULD TALK?! HUH?! SHUT THE FUCK UP! AND WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST SAY ABOUT READING THE SCRIPT?! STOP! IT!_

**-{Anna}-**

**Make me, Vaas.**

More pissed off than I had been in recent memory, I called up the Settings menu in a flash and zeroed in on the 'Tutorials' option, switching it to 'Off' near instantaneously.

**-{Anna}-**

**You can silence me, but you can't silence the tru**

Anna was abruptly cut off when her dialogue box disappeared.

Feeling a sense of accomplishment over successfully managing to shut up the woman of a thousand art styles, I turned my attention to my level-up menu. I had a feeling that I wouldn't be squaring off against many magic users in the near future, so Resistance was the only stat left untouched. Magic went up due to my ability to wield dark tomes, and I had no idea whether or not the game would throw a curveball at me by giving it to me before it technically existed in this universe.

**Level: 2^ +1**

**HP: 19^ +1**

**STR: 6^ +1**

**MAG: 5^ +1**

**SKL: 6^ +1**

**SPD: 7^ +1**

**LCK: 6^ +1**

**DEF: 5^ +1**

**RES: 3**

I hit the confirm button to lock in my choices. Soon after, the world returned to normal speed.

Naturally, the last two thugs' eyes were pretty wide open after listening to their buddy's farewell cry. Both tried to scramble away to their weapons. Since the final minion was closer to my position than the boss, he was the first to be marked for death.

My superior Speed showcased itself here, as I was moving noticeably faster than my target. Two slashes tripped him up, and two more downed him for good.

**+10 EXP**

**+30 EXP**

However, my victory was cut short when a Bronze Axe smashed itself into my back. My good friend Pain made himself known in that moment, and I was sent reeling forward, but luckily I was able to avoid falling on the ground. Quickly, I whirled around just in time to catch another swipe of the offending weapon on my own, and deflect it away from my body. I went for a horizontal slash, but found my blade blocked. The clash pushed me and my assailant away from each other, allowing us a moment to size up our opponent. Idly bringing up his stat page, I noticed his name was Henrik, and that he would drop a Vulnerary if I beat him. As you may be able to guess, he didn't look too pleased with me.

"Ya little scamp! Yer gonna pay fer makin' mah friends bite th' dust!"

_Huh. I would've expected something a little more forceful than 'scamp.' Does the profanity filter affect everyone?_

"Oh, I'm sure they had it coming. I think you should be more worried about yourself. After all, I just took out all of your henchmen on my own. What makes you think you have a chance against me?"

_Heh. Who knew I'd be the one imitating Glass the Ass?_

That only made the boss angrier.

"Ya only beat us 'cuz ya caught us nappin'! Well, I'm wide awake now, so say yer prayers, an' be quick about it - ya won't be able to pretty soon!"

While he was giving his two cents, I was nursing my own Vulnerary. My HP refilled itself to the brim, and I slipped the item back behind me into my inventory while I delivered my comeback line.

"Yeah, I don't think so. I hope you've had a good run, because it's about to end."

And with that, we charged at each other.

His overhand chop was dodged by a quick sidestep, letting me land my own on his arm. It cut deep, likely down to the bone from what I could tell, but not so much as to sever his arm entirely - I wasn't strong enough for that yet. I was able to pull my weapon out in time to parry the cut he sent my way, knocking his good arm out of commission long enough for me to land a second attack on his chest.

**+10 EXP**

Unfortunately, I couldn't recover fast enough to interfere with his next blow, and it struck me hard in the stomach. Like before, the force behind it sent me staggering back, but it didn't hit hard enough to send me crashing to the floor. This ended up giving us both a few breather seconds to recover from our brief bout.

The adrenaline made it seem like those precious few seconds dragged on for minutes at a time. Eventually, though, Henrik took the initiative with an angry growl.

He went for another side-swipe, two-handed this time, apparently learning that an overhand strike would be easily avoided. However, his attempt failed as my artificial instincts somehow allowed me to pull off a backflipping one-handed handspring dodge, a la Alm. He ended up overextending himself as he failed to meet the resistance he was expecting, leaving him wide open to attack. I capitalized on the opportunity as soon as I was able, landing an uppercutting backhand slash that fully turned his back to me, and then striking with another uppercut that led to him suffering the same fate as the first man to die that night - collapsing on his stomach, axe knocked from his grasp.

**+10 EXP**

And just as the first man had done before him, he rolled on his back, and stared death in the face.

"Well? Go on, then. Jus' do it. 'M gonna die anyway."

I couldn't exactly deny that. With all the blood leaking from his arms, chest, and back, he'd be lucky to survive 'til tomorrow if I left him there. But me being me, I couldn't help but throw him the last bone he'd ever get.

"For what it's worth, you have the honor of being my first real challenge. You can take pride in knowing that you're my stepping stone to greatness in your last moments."

He just gave that broken, choking laugh that all dying people give when they hear something funny.

"Heh, heh… take that, Ma. I 'mounted to a steppin' stone. 'S better 'n what you thought I'd end up as…"

_Oh, wow. I actually kinda feel a little bad for him now._

Seeing as how he wouldn't be saying any more, my blade soon found itself buried in his breast.

**+60 EXP**

**LEVEL UP!**

**Number rolled: 3**

**+3 stat points**

I couldn't help myself from making the famous reference as time prepared to stop.

"_ZA WARUDO! TOKI WO TOMARE!"_

_**BZZZRRRRTTT-CHAKCHOK-CHUK-CHUK!**_

And lo and behold, the sound effect from the 2013 anime played right after the words left my mouth! And if that wasn't enough, the visual effect accompanied it as well!

...though I did have some misgivings with the inverted colors. I won't say it outright, but… there are some things man simply wasn't meant to see.

Going back to what I was supposed to be doing, I took note of my gains. Or rather, the relative lack of them compared to my previous level.

_Ouch. Straight from seven to three. Guess the RNGoddess hasn't granted me any favors. Oh, well - I've made do without 'em before, and I can do it again._

I decided to round out some of my more useful stats.

**Level: 3^ +1**

**HP: 20^ +1**

**STR: 7^ +1**

**MAG: 5**

**SKL: 6**

**SPD: 7**

**LCK: 6**

**DEF: 6^ +1**

**RES: 3**

_Soshite, toki wa muki dasu._

As if by my command, the world kicked back into motion.

I also decided to give a certain someone their communications medium back.

**-{Anna}-**

**Well, look at you go! **

**Your first battle, and you only come out of it with two scars! **

**Against five bandits, no less! **

**I bet you feel pretty proud of yourself for ending five lives all by your lonesome.**

"I sure do. I guess it goes to show that numbers aren't everything. If we had gone by conventional rules, there was next to no chance I could have survived that."

**-{Anna}-**

**You'll realize someday that math isn't the end-all be-all solution to the world's problems. **

**There are times when you've just gotta kill peeps.**

"What's up with the emphasis on death? You trying to tell me something?"

**-{Anna}-**

**Um, hello?! **

**You literally just forced five people to leave the mortal coil with your own two hands! **

**Not to mention that now that you've had time to adjust to this world, you're coming to terms with the fact that you might not see the people you know and love ever again! **

**I get that Gamer's Mind is a thing, but why hasn't it had to step in to stop you from having a breakdown yet?!**

_Ohhh… that._

"Ah… right. Well… it's a little hard to put into words, really."

Understatement of the century right there. But, I figured it might be for the best to rip off the band-aid now, lest the wound fester and become infected.

(Yes, I know, that metaphor did kinda fall flat, but you get the idea.)

"For starters, I've never been the best at the whole… 'emotions' thing. And once I started getting older, I realized that I began to care less and less about anything that didn't work on electricity - and before you say anything, bioelectricity doesn't count. I guess dicking around in virtual worlds since I was three years old might have had something to do with that, but whatever."

Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if my dad hadn't brought home that bargain-bin PS1 all those years ago. Who knows how different I'd be?

"Getting back on track, I also began to see both what little friends I had and my family less as actual loved ones, and more as… 'advantages' in life, so to speak. Sustained source of food, water and what-have-you, entertainment, education… all that good stuff. That means that now that I'm here with what I have, I've lost some advantages, and gained many more new ones. Some of the new ones are straight-up better than the old ones, and what few negatives there are get outweighed by all the overwhelming logical positives that come with being here. Needing no food or water at all beats needing it and having a constant supply of it, and I'll have all the entertainment and excitement I'll ever need once I find this universe's player characters. Put simply, my brain sees this entire situation as an overall upgrade from my previous life, and has no qualms about never seeing anyone I used to know again."

My mom often said I inherited quite a few of her flaws - chief among them being a small case of depression and susceptibility to addictions. Of course, I'd like to think that her addictions to various drugs (don't worry, she got better) were far more dangerous than my addiction to staring at screens for hours on end, but that's just me. I wouldn't touch that shit with a ten-foot pole.

Not helping was the fact that I had discovered not even a year ago that I was 'somewhere on the spectrum'. Finding out I had some type of autism… well, suffice to say it wasn't exactly one of my happiest days. (Not that anyone else would know, since all I had to offer on that topic was 'huh… okay. That does kinda explain a lot.') Even worse was that I had no idea where exactly I was on the spectrum, since the tests to determine that apparently become exponentially more expensive the older the subject is for some ridiculous reason. (Most likely something medical that I couldn't care to research.)

All told, I wasn't really a happy camper. And like I said earlier, I hardly found it within myself to muster up the effort to seek out friends. Practically all the people I used to know outside of family, I knew because they were either classmates or because I was introduced to them through my parents (read: mom). And even then, I never really felt like actually pursuing real friendships. In the event where I did actually try, we would only end up drifting apart. So, eventually, I convinced myself it wasn't worth it, and... stopped trying entirely.

Thus, the only constant companions I would come to know would be my parents… and my little brother, much as I'd prefer to forget about him.

I mean, he wasn't a _bad _kid, per se - god knows his homework policies and time management skills were _miles _ahead of mine, which amounted to 'procrastinate to the last second, then go into panic mode and do everything the night before the due date' - but… sometimes it felt like he went out of his way to crank every aspect of his stereotypical 'annoying little brother' personality up to eleven whenever he was around me, simply because he knew he could get away with it.

He intentionally lisped his words, _constantly _made loud and incredibly irritating noises, and was generally just a real hassle to deal with. The only consolation was that I wasn't the only target - mom and dad were fair game too, though dad to a lesser extent than mom. He also toned it down a few notches if any of his friends were nearby. Then there's the fact that half the time he was dinking around on his iPad, watching YouTube content and being generally unresponsive.

...okay, this is getting a little off-topic. Where was I? Ah, right.

"As for the whole killing thing, well… they're bandits. Like I stated before, they had it coming the moment they chose their profession. I doubt that any of them had any living relatives that would acknowledge their existence at this point, so nobody would miss them. Thus, my brain concludes that it's doing the world in general a favor by eliminating them from the equation. And that's pretty much all there is to it."

Dehumanization at its finest, people. Once you figure out how consistently convince yourself that your enemies are complete monsters, you'll be going on killing sprees without psychological repercussions before you know it.

**-{Anna}-**

**...**

**...you are one fucked up guy.**

_Don't I know it._

Anna's Precision F-Strike came as a sort of surprise, seeing as I'd never seen her swear before. Nonetheless, I took it in stride and responded.

"Wow. At this point, I'm starting to wonder if you're really worthy of the Anna name."

**-{Anna}-**

**What?! Why?!**

"Well, as you should know, all Annas are well-versed in business. And the way I see it, when you saddled on with me, you had ignored one of the most fundamental rules of business in general."

**-{Anna}-**

**And what, pray tell, would that be?**

"'Know your client.' In my eyes, it's obvious that you barely know anything about me. Practically every time I reveal something about myself to you, it comes as a surprise, as if you genuinely had no idea about said thing before I spoke up about it. That's a pretty bad practice."

It was at this moment when something clicked.

"Come to think of it… practically nothing you've said to me so far has any references to business - or more noticeably, money - whatsoever. No jokes, no obscure terms, no euphemisms or exaggerations… hell, if my memory doesn't fail me, the only time you ever mentioned it was when you introduced yourself as 'Secret Seller Extraordinaire'. Either you're not an Anna, or you're a defective one. Which is it, I wonder?"

**-{Anna}-**

**...well, I'll be. You jumped to that conclusion faster than a stingy customer on Black Friday.**

_...oh. There it is. Well, rest in spaghetti, conspiracy theory. You made sense while you lasted._

**-{Anna}-**

**Okay, look - you and I both know that me and my sisters can get a little… short-sighted, at times. **

**But this situation wasn't the best deal in the slightest. **

**I was pulled straight out of a standard Path of Radiance copy and had my Radiant Dawn counterpart's memories crammed into my head so I'd have all the info you'd need on your merry little quest, complete with a supplementary crash course on how to surf the web, or at least the areas my employer knew you were knowledgeable in. **

**And immediately after that, I was pretty much shoved right in here with barely any explanation except for the stuff I was told to relay to you.**

**The whole reason I kept you waiting before I first popped up was because I was being briefed on my job description and expectations. **

**I was only given the very basics about you - your looks, your status, birthday, family, a heavily abridged version of your previous life, and that was pretty much it.**

**And since I was sent off right after the briefing was done, I didn't have any time to actually look through your file before I had to meet you. **

**And by that point there really wasn't much that I could do, besides probe you for info. **

**No thanks to the fact that since you're not famous, your digital footprint is about as nonexistent as the amount of people who like Revelations for someone of my computer skill.**

**So I rolled with it and tried to make the best of the whole deal, like any sensible manager. And so far? I think it's been working pretty darn well.**

"Hrmmm… yeah, I guess I can't really give a solid counter-argument to that. Shoot."

**-{Anna}-**

**And… that's it?**

"Well, duh. Why?"

**-{Anna}-**

**Aren't you going to apologize for accusing me of forging my genealogy?**

"Meeehhh… I could, but I'm not Really Feeling It, so I won't."

**-{Anna}-**

**What if I gave you the Monado?**

"If you did, I might be Really Feeling It enough to say sorry."

**-{Anna}-**

**Well, I don't have it, so… **

**Would you settle if I said it was Reyn Time?**

"...all right, fine. Sorry. Are you happy?"

**-{Anna}-**

**...**

**You know what? I think I'll take what I can get at this point.**

"Cool. Now let's bounce. I don't need to sleep, so every second not spent moving is a second wasted."

Walking over to Henrik's corpse, I rummaged around his belt pouch and took my loot.

**Received a Vulnerary.**

And thus, I set out once more.


	4. Thracian Rules, Sucker

It was a rather beautiful day today. Sun was shining, birds were singing, grass was growing, flowers were blooming, not a cloud in the sky.

And yet… as I looked ahead, I couldn't help but feel like I was going to have a bad time.

For you see, I had just so happened to come across a squad of - you guessed it - Daein soldiers.

_God_, sometimes I really hated Murphy's Law.

From what I could see from behind my cover, said cover being a random thicket seemingly placed haphazardly in the middle of an open field, there weren't really that many. I only spied around 10, which was pretty small compared to the number of soldiers who faced off against Ike and company during their visit to Melior. However, it was still at least ten times my fighting strength, so I determined that staying hidden took priority.

Unfortunately, I had another problem.

The squad didn't seem like it had intentions to move any time soon. They were also constantly on watch for possible assaults.

And considering the large bush I was using as a hiding spot was the only obscuring piece of terrain for at least fifty meters…

Well, suffice to say that I wouldn't be getting out of there without them spotting me.

I thought of waiting until nightfall, but Anna shot that down with the increasingly-common excuse of 'you gotta keep moving full speed ahead, or you won't catch your goal in time.' I had to admit, I was starting to get a little bit tired of that. I may have possessed limitless stamina and no need for basic necessities like food or sleep, but hiking in a single direction while having nothing to do but talk to your Navi-expy for days on end tends to start driving you up the wall after the first week or so.

For some reason I felt as if I could liken it to a sort of reverse cabin fever.

Bringing up the main menu revealed that the Conditions option had reappeared, signifying that I had been forced into another chapter in my story. "Immigrant's Song" was its name. As you may have expected, I immediately drew parallels to the Led Zeppelin track of the same name. While I wasn't Norwegian in any sense of the word, as I considered myself a Yankee through and through, my situation was strikingly similar to the story the song told.

The victory conditions, surprisingly enough, were 'Survive for 5 turns'. I had never considered that one of the official titles would have a defense-type chapter so early in the game, but I had a few theories on why.

The one that stuck out to me the most was that plot-wise, I wasn't supposed to win this fight. Sure, I could give the soldiers - and maybe the boss if I got lucky - a thrashing they'd never forget, but once those 5 turns were over, they'd get right back up and overpower me. There were 10 of them, and only 1 of me, so it definitely wasn't far-fetched in the least.

I found myself wondering exactly how long a turn lasted, and like any smart person would do, asked Anna about it.

**-{Anna}-**

**How much time a turn takes varies from chapter to chapter. **

**For some, it can be as short as a single minute, or even less in certain circumstances, while in others, they can drag on and on for hours. **

**A general rule of thumb is that turn time depends on how many units both armies have on the field, and how large the battleground is. **

**If both are large, turns are slow. **

**If they're small, turns are fast.**

I supposed it made sense. Enemy phases in Maniac Mode during the later chapters (particularly 'Clash!') could last upwards of 10 minutes, though that was mainly due to all the swole cannon fodder thrown at you and the fact that map animations couldn't be skipped and were kinda slow.

Returning my attention to my opponents, I looked a little closer. Bringing up their info pages, I ended up counting 4 soldiers, 2 fighters, 2 myrmidons, 1 archer, and the boss, who was also a soldier. Weapon triangle was definitely not in my favor here, and that archer was going to be a real pain to deal with, if I even got that far. Even worse, not one of the soldiers had Bronze weapons - every one of them was packing Iron-level gear. If all four of the soldiers attacked me at once, I was pretty much guaranteed to die. That also went for the fighters, too - while I did have an advantage over them due to my weapon choice, their superior strength still meant that they would kill me just as quickly. The only ones I really had a chance against were the myrmidons, who had around half the damage output of the other two classes.

One bright side to this whole debacle was that one of the myrmidons would drop his Iron Sword for me to take if I managed to beat him. Another was that because of weapon weight penalties, every single enemy would be susceptible to double-attacks, which somewhat fixed my damage output problems. Running my calculations, I determined that I could kill everyone here besides the boss in 3 hits. The hard part was doing that while making sure to let no more than two enemies attack me at any one time, and keeping myself properly healed. While I did have 50 recoverable HP left, that wouldn't matter one bit if I didn't get the chance to use it.

With my half-plan worked out and my gear triple-checked, I stood up and started walking away from the soldiers. Them being Daein, I wasn't surprised in the least when I heard one of them call out to me not 10 seconds later. Even less shocking was that he was the boss - Lantz, if his info page was correct.

"Hey! You there! Where do you think you're going?"

I knew that every action I could possibly think of taking at that moment would lead to men being sent after me, so I decided to shoot the breeze with the guy as long as I could.

"Oh, nowhere in particular. Only away from you. No offense, really, but the black armor and the vibe you give off practically screams 'trouble', and you see, I'm not exactly fond of trouble. So if you would kindly let me be on my way…"

I didn't much care for pointless questions, but I bore with them for the sake of keeping up the act. For whatever reason, my conversation partner thought that was funny.

"Hah ha! Hey, everyone, look! This one thinks he can just walk away from Daein's might, no questions asked! What say we let our duelist show him how wrong he is?"

At his words, one of the myrmidons stepped forward. Coincidentally, or maybe intentionally on the game's part, he was the one who would leave me his sword if he met his end early. He stopped about four meters away from my position.

Before the inevitable battle broke out, I gave some closing thoughts.

"See? Trouble. But, well, if it's a fight you want, then I suppose it's only right that I oblige you. Come on, then!"

Thus, I drew my sword, letting my artificial instincts guide me into a proper battle stance.

Being the defensive person I am, I let my enemy have the first move.

His first diagonal downward slash was dodged, and he got a wound on his shoulder in return. His attempted sweep attack also missed its mark, leading to him gaining a cut on his front.

**+9 EXP**

His third strike, however, was the one that hit its mark on my left arm. In retaliation, he received a stab through the chest.

**+29 EXP**

Grabbing my dying opponent's sword hand with my left, I wrenched the sword away from his slackening fingers and then kicked him off mine. He fell to the ground in a heap of cold flesh. With the threat gone for now, I took his sheath and strapped it to my own back, replacing my new Iron Sword inside.

If Lantz felt anything whatsoever, he didn't show it, callously disregarding the fact that one of his compatriots was just murdered.

"Well, well! Seems we've a fighter in our midst! But I wonder… can you take more than that? I should hope so!"

This time, a soldier and a fighter took center stage. Since the damage I had taken earlier didn't leave me in danger of being killed if two of their attacks hit, I refrained from healing and resumed my earlier posture.

As expected of his class, the fighter charged forward first, yelling out a battle cry.

The crushing two-handed blow he intended to deliver could be seen from miles away, and was avoided with only the slightest amount of effort, leaving him open for two slashes on his side.

**+9 EXP**

But while I was preoccupied, the soldier took the opportunity and grazed me with his Iron Lance, his poor accuracy and the weapon's heft making themselves known. Taking advantage of the joint pads my outfit had, I elbowed the lancer in the center of his helmet, forcing him to stagger backward and leaving him practically defenseless. I capitalized on his helplessness and left him with two bleeding gashes on the areas his armor didn't cover.

**+9 EXP**

Satisfied with the damage dealt, I returned my attention to the fighter, and attempted to dodge out of the way of a diagonal chop. Unfortunately, I wasn't fast enough, and the bladed weapon left a jagged line of red on my torso. Recovering as best I could, I surprised my enemy by shoulder-charging him, then swinging my sword and opening up a crimson trench stretching from his shoulder to his hip. Losing strength, he stumbled backward and fell to the floor.

**+29 EXP**

**LEVEL UP!**

**Number rolled: 51**

**+4 stat points**

_That's… better than the last one, but still not very good. What to ping…_

_Well, right now my biggest concern is survivability. _

**Level: 4^ +1**

**HP: 21^ +1**

**STR: 8^ +1**

**MAG: 5**

**SKL: 6**

**SPD: 8^ +1**

**LCK: 6**

**DEF: 7^ +1**

**RES: 3**

_Okay, so… that should let me survive four hits without dying, if I heal back to full._

When time kicked back into gear, I whipped my head around to check for the soldier, and discovered he was trying a last-ditch charge. Quickly stepping to the side, my non-dominant hand shot out and grabbed the shaft of his lance in an attempt to stop his forward momentum. While the maneuver wasn't perfect, it worked well enough to grant me the chance to slit his throat.

**+29 EXP**

As soon as the experience notification confirmed the kill, I took out my two-use Vulnerary and chugged as fast as I could. My brain also registered Lantz talking while I was doing so.

"Very impressive! If I didn't know better, I'd say you were a professional soldier! In fact… how about both of us go head-to-head? We've only a short time left until the rest of the men arrive, so I might as well squeeze every drop of enjoyment possible from these last moments of freedom!"

His words confirmed my theory - with more soldiers on the way and only one Vulnerary left, there was no possible way I could win without breaking the story.

Though I knew that the game wouldn't end this early, I continued to play ignorant. Throwing the empty container to the ground, I responded.

"All right, sure. If what you say is true, then I'm not long for this world anyway. Might as well go out in a spectacular duel to the death."

Lantz laughed again. I was starting to get the feeling he did that a lot.

"Ha! I wouldn't be giving up the ghost just yet. Tell you what - if you manage to beat me, I'll tell the reinforcements to spare your life. Of course, I'd think they'll end up imprisoning you, but hey, it's better than dying, right?"

_There it is. That's my way out._

"True. Shall we, then?"

I accentuated the challenge by sheathing my Bronze Sword and pulling out my shiny new Iron Sword.

A notification popped up in response to this new development.

**VICTORY CONDITIONS HAVE CHANGED**

**Defeat Lantz**

It disappeared as quickly as it had appeared.

With nothing more to be said, we slowly advanced towards each other.

I had already run the numbers, and determined the following - assuming that we landed all our attacks, both of us would kill the other in around 3 rounds of combat. While his strength was a fair bit higher than the average soldier, it still wasn't enough to completely negate the weapon weight penalty of the Iron Lance, and his speed was therefore cut low enough to allow me to double-attack him. That same strength, however, combined with the weapon triangle advantage he had over me, would prove lethal if I got careless enough. His somewhat high defense would also let him take a bit more punishment than the average soldier before falling.

My analysis complete, I gave the soon-to-be engagement my full attention.

My refusal to take the initiative eventually spurred Lantz to do it himself.

Surprisingly enough, his first thrust wasn't as telegraphed as I had expected it to be, and nicked me in the side when I made to avoid the stab. Cold revenge was swiftly served up in the form of two quick cuts on the parts of his arms that weren't covered by his obsidian-hued armor.

**+10 EXP**

Recovering impressively fast, he made to thrust again, but a quick application of metal to the shaft sent it veering off-target. This time I countered with two rapier-like stabs of my own, snaking my blade into his guard just like a certain Hero-King would.

**+10 EXP**

By now Lantz seemed to have figured out that thrusting again wouldn't cut it, so he tried a different approach. Namely, twisting his Iron Lance around and bashing me in the armpit with the wooden shaft.

"Geuh-!"

For all of the three-odd seconds that it lasted, the pain was near unbearable for someone like me. His higher-than-average strength made itself known and sent me staggering off to the side. With how wide open I was in that moment, I knew that Lantz would have to be a complete and utter idiot if he didn't press his advantage - and like any true survivor, he didn't waste any time, charging towards my unbalanced self while preparing what looked like a baseball swing with an oversized bat.

Miraculously enough, I managed to recover in time, and pulled off a move that should not have been possible according to the laws of earth physics.

Said move being the _Echoes _Myrmidon's dodge-attack - I leapt off the ground and completely cleared the spear, performed a mid-air somersault, and then brought down my blade right on top of Lantz.

While the majority of my brain's parts were screaming in hype, disbelief, and other such emotions at this seemingly-implausible feat, one dark corner registered that I must have triggered a Critical Hit. Which made sense, considering that the Iron Sword didn't have the critical restriction that the Bronze Sword carried.

Being the genre-savvy nerd I was, the lack of cutting power my sword displayed - merely blowing Lantz off his feet and not actually separating the left side of his body from his right - didn't set off any alarm bells at all. My mind had already given up trying to apply logic to my situation after I had broken one of nature's most essential laws, anyway.

The squad leader hit the ground flat on his back at the same time the experience notification appeared, cementing my victory. The force of the impact knocked the Iron Lance out of his hand, leaving it to clatter to the ground.

**+60 EXP**

**LEVEL UP!**

**Number rolled: 26**

**+3 stat points**

_I'm starting to get the feeling that RNJesus doesn't like me very much. Which makes no sense considering recent events, but whatever._

_Might as well go for a dump-stat level. Not doing so could end up coming back to bite me later._

**Level: 5^ +1**

**HP: 21**

**STR: 8**

**MAG: 5**

**SKL: 7^ +1**

**SPD: 8**

**LCK: 7^+1**

**DEF: 7**

**RES: 4^ +1**

**[Sword] Weapon rank increased to D.**

_Huh. Was wondering when that would go up. Nice._

Once my perception of the world was back to normal, my eyes locked back on to Lantz, who slowly got up from his defeat at my hands… and started laughing. Again.

"Heh… heh hah ha… well, I'll be. You actually pulled it off. Looked pretty damn flashy while doing it, too."

I just gave a helpless shrug at the praise.

"To be honest, I have no idea how I did that. I only won because of a fluke. If we recovered and tried that again, I'd probably end up losing."

He waved that off.

"That doesn't matter now. What does matter is that you beat me - history doesn't care how or why. And even if I don't particularly like that, I still have to respect it, and I do. Congratulations, stranger, you just won your life back. A life in a prison cell, but a life nonetheless."

A thought occurred to me in that moment.

"Say… we don't know each other's names, do we? Care to fix that? We might never see each other again, but I'd at least like to know the name of the soldier I beat in a duel to save myself from the executioner's axe."

If nothing else, his reaction was positive.

"That's fine. Might as well have a little pride and dignity if you're to spend the rest of your days behind bars. I'm Lantz - captain of the Sixth Platoon of Daein's 23rd Infantry Division. And for the record, it was fun while it lasted."

By that point, I was beginning to see the reinforcements he had been talking about earlier.

"I'm Andrew. Just a wandering mercenary with a blade and a conscience. For what it's worth, I wish you luck in your future endeavors."

While I was being put through the ropes of being captured - literally - I couldn't shake off the nagging feeling that I would see him again, some time in the future. My mind, being what it was, immediately took notice of that feeling, and came to a conclusion.

_Well, well… seems I've found me my own rival. Until we meet again, Lantz. I look forward to our next bout._

**-{Anna}-**

**Wow. All that talk of stating that I shouldn't read the script, and then you just turn around and do it yourself?**

**I took you for a lot of things, but a hypocrite wasn't one of them.**

_Oh, shut up, Anna._

* * *

**A/N: Here comes Andrew's Black Knight (read: bootleg Berkut) counterpart. Meet Lantz, the ruthless small-time commander with a heaping helping of ambition and the willingness to act on it, along with a weird sense of twisted honor. He'll be popping up in the story whenever it would reasonably make sense for him to be there, accompanied by a few of his subordinates. When you'll actually see him again is determined by where he's assigned - for all I know, the next time he'll make an appearance could be during the first endgame chapter. Probably not, though. We'll likely see him again pretty soon. Or we might not.**

**Anyway, this chapter showcases Andrew's first battle against actual soldiers. Apparently, either someone clearly trained them improperly (or just conscripted them, put a weapon in their hands and taught them how to march semi-competently), or our player character's more skilled than he believes himself to be. Which is it, I wonder? We'll find out eventually.**

**Gear up - the next chapter's a long one.**

**[TRANSMISSION ENDED]**


	5. Discount Manster Jailbreak

While I would typically consider myself an indecisive person, I don't think I had ever felt this level of magnitude of being torn than in this specific point in time.

Why? It's quite simple to understand, really. But first, you're going to need some context.

After spending quite a few days traveling south, getting ever closer to the Crimea-Gallia border, the Daein unit that had detained me arrived at a somewhat dated-looking prison.

Shortly after, I was hauled to my feet, marched off, and thrown into a cell without any care whatsoever.

But that was not the reason for my current state of being.

No, that had spawned because of something else.

A little thing known as 'the identity of my cellmate'.

And do you know who my new roommate just so happened to be?

A bluish-purple-haired girl dressed in orange and black, who was doing sit-ups at the time I was shoved into the place.

Yup.

**-{Mia}-**

**Myrmidon**

**Lv. 6**

**HP: 21**

**STR: 7**

**MAG: 0**

**SKL: 10**

**SPD: 13**

**LCK: 6**

**DEF: 7**

**RES: 2**

**-{Skills}-**

**Vantage**

**The user will always land the first strike in a fight - even if they are caught by surprise.**

**-{Weapon Rank}-**

**Sword: D**

And therefore, I became split between feeling two things - disbelief at my seemingly unreal luck, and immense irritation towards Anna. After all, she had outright stated back during the Prologue that it was her job to make sure I participated in canonical events as much as possible. Obviously, that meant she would have to saddle me up with the Greil Mercenaries as soon as possible. The only problem was how she was supposed to go about that.

Something I had noticed way back when I was stuck inside the black void was that while the 'Drop Zone subroutine' had said that I would start in Crimea, it had never mentioned when. From what I had been able to gather, my point of insertion in the timeline was either right when Ike's Prologue chapter started, or some time after it. And considering that I hadn't seen any Daein soldiers until I had gotten pretty far up north, it was safe to assume that the fall of Melior had been very recent.

That meant that the good mercs were likely either: defending their fortress, running to Gallia, or searching for Greil.

And you know what _that _meant? Well…

For those of you who don't know or have simply forgotten, Mia's recruitment conversation with Ike reveals that she was able to join up with him because Greil had rescued her from Daein soldiers after she was captured. She specifically mentions how she was about to be sent off to a prison camp before getting saved.

Where was I right now?

In a jail cell with Mia. In a _prison._

While I was a bit concerned over the fact that Greil had apparently been a little late in his rescue, I still knew that Mia would eventually find a way to Fort Meritenne at the right moment. And I had a sneaking suspicion that a certain crippled commander would help her do it.

All this information led my brain to the current state it was in.

_Is the fact that I was able to get the opportunity to meet Mia early nothing more than a contrived coincidence, or was this whole thing planned by Anna? It would certainly explain why she said that I needed to make a move sooner rather than later before I fought Lantz and his buddies - she knew I needed to get captured to let this happen._

Suddenly, I was broken out of my thoughts by a sound that I had already become well-acquainted with in the short time I had been here.

_**Eeeoooowwwwrrrr…**_

My head instantly snapped in the direction my ears were telling me the sound was coming from - and my eyes found themselves locked on the friendly myrmidon's stomach area. The displeased belly's owner let out a groan at the protest.

"Urrrrghhhh… maaaan, I wish they actually had something good to eat around here. Would make the whole 'two meals a day' thing a bit better."

Right then, Mia was lying on her back on the cold, stone floor of the cell, arms and legs splayed out almost in a spread-eagle fashion. This was one of the rare occasions where she wasn't trying her best to keep herself in shape while cooped up in the average-sized room.

"I hear that. I swear, if you told me that whatever abomination of gruel they were serving was actually brick mortar, I'd probably believe you. It certainly tasted like it."

Even though I didn't get hungry anymore, keeping up appearances was still important, as not doing so could lead to uncomfortable interrogation sessions on why I hadn't fainted from exhaustion yet. But by that point, I was seriously starting to consider skipping mealtimes solely on account of how absurdly terrible the food was. Hell, I bet even Sully's cooking couldn't beat how ludicrously unappetizing it looked, smelled, and tasted - especially tasted, oh god.

For lack of a better description, well… let's just say it makes Mor Ardain cuisine seem like ambrosia.

I felt sorry for Mia. Not only was she forced to cope with it, but also to lick her plate clean in order to ensure she got enough energy to keep training.

"Well, at least they have variety. If I had to eat nothing but 'dead man's pudding' for two weeks straight, I'd find a way to kill myself before they got a chance to execute me. Their senses have gotta be close to nonexistent if they can even consider that sorry excuse of a dessert to be actual food."

I involuntarily gagged at the mention of that monstrosity.

"I would _really _prefer it if you refrained from mentioning that… **creation **ever again within my range of hearing, thank you."

_Fucking __**hell, **__that shit was Ephraim-level 'disgusting'. I don't know how those men stomach it as if nothing's wrong. _

That had some rather… unfortunate implications for player characters native to Daein.

_Makes me wonder… has Jill been subject to this ever since she enlisted? If she is, then… holy crap. Soldiers of Daein must be hardier than I give them credit for._

Mia lifted herself up into a sitting position, her arms providing a foundation for her upper body.

"I sure don't envy the life of a Daein soldier. Eating that slop daily, training sessions out the wazoo in freezing-cold temperatures, brutal marches through miles of snow-covered hills and mountains, not to mention all those Laguz hunts… and dueling's reserved for press-ganged conscripts whose lives are on the line. Sheesh. No wonder Melior fell so quickly. You'd have to have a will of steel to survive all that."

Our conversation was suddenly interrupted when a guard carrying a torch appeared on the other side of the bars.

"Hey, inmates! Lights out in five! Quiet down, or you know what happens!"

He left as quickly as he came, likely off to go bully some other poor prisoners. I scoffed at his retreating form.

"Probably also explains why they all have sticks up their rears. The day someone becomes real friends with a Daein army official is the day I hang up my sword. In all seriousness, though, we really should get ready for bed."

"Right. Goodnight."

"You too."

We did our best to settle down on the meager piles of hay we had been given for use as 'beds'. They sure weren't much, but if you knew how to work them, they became bearable enough to lose consciousness on.

Not that I would know, as I simply spent the entirety of the nights in the cell with my eyes open, wide awake, because I could. It was boring as all hell, but I couldn't really remember my dreams, so I didn't really think sleeping was worth it. My modified mind's ability to go on indefinitely without resting was probably one of the biggest 'sleeper' (heh) advantages I had ever known - simply because of how many different aspects of my body that it covered. You could give any person the ability to run forever, or let them live without air, but if you didn't alter their brains accordingly to account for those changes, the ingrained habits would force a total shut-down if the user went too far. Sure, those habits could eventually be broken, but only after extremely intensive conditioning that could end up taking months, likely even years to completely finish off. But I had received what amounted to a 'free skip' card concerning all that, allowing me to use those new abilities to their fullest potential right off the bat. And what a blessing that was, let me tell _you._

I laid there for what seemed like hours, with nothing but crickets, Mia's soft breaths, and an unforgiving stone ceiling as company.

Until suddenly… shouting. Coming from somewhere near the… west gate, maybe? Or was it the east gate? I couldn't really tell. Soon after, the sounds of fighting found their way to my ears.

_Well, whaddaya know. Looks like the big man himself has come to liberate the scrubs. Hail the almighty Holy Greil._

I got up from my bed and walked over to my room-mate's resting spot, shaking her to awareness.

"Mmmn-whuh?"

"Hey, get up. I think the place is under attack."

That snapped her eyes wide open. She quickly found her feet and joined me in a low crouch on one knee, close to the bars. The cacophony of battle was starting to come closer.

"You think it might be whoever's left of the Crimean forces? Or the Royal Knights? The place I was stationed at had what looked to be the entire standing army, but I doubt that was all of them."

Placing a hand on my chin in the classic Nolan pose, I fell silent for a few seconds before responding.

"Could be. But I don't hear horses. Either this is a really well-trained infantry unit… or someone else. Mercenaries, maybe? Paid by someone with a grudge against Daein? Gallian warriors making sure they don't come too close to the border? I dunno, I can't really tell. But what I do know is that they're coming closer."

The noise of war was almost on top of us now.

"Well, whoever they are, I hope they're friendly."

"Same here. Being cut down right after being set free would suck."

That was when the biggest 'fuck you' axe I'd ever seen in real life came flying over from the right and buried itself in an unfortunate soldier's body. The weapon was probably what you'd imagine a regular fantasy battle-axe to look like - huge, imposing, and undeniably dangerous, only spruced-up with intricate gold and brown markings.

Observing Urvan revealed it to have the same stats as it's Radiant Dawn incarnation - including the absolutely broken accuracy, and the Resistance boost. It made one wonder why someone would even need to worry about the weapon triangle with this utter monster of an axe.

The giant thing's owner rushed in soon after, ripping it off the man unfortunate enough to get hit by it. Greil then turned to look at us, before hefting Urvan up and obliterating the iron bars that separated us. Taking the obvious invitation, Mia and I walked out of the confines of the cell. Being that the swordswoman was a fair bit friendlier than I was, she spoke first.

"Wow! Thanks, mister! I thought we'd be trapped here for at least a good while longer. I'm Mia. The guy next to me is Andrew. What's your name?"

The larger-than-life man let a small smile tug at his lips upon witnessing her personality. Like he had dealt with that specific one before.

"To my company, I'm known as 'Commander', but since you're not one of mine, you can just call me Greil. And I suggest that you arm yourselves with whatever you can find and leave this place as soon as possible. This isn't the safest spot around, and I would feel more comfortable knowing that you're out of the line of fire."

As if to punctuate his words, he turned and struck down a Myrmidon charging at him with a single mighty blow.

I could immediately tell, even without checking his stats, that while the tendons in his right hand were severed, he was still on a completely different level than everyone else here. Hell, I was willing to bet that none of the soldiers would be able to even hit him, much less injure him by the time this raid was over.

Feeling inquisitive, I decided to ask a question.

"Sir…"

I faltered due to feeling the sudden urge to gulp. However, I ensured that my words weren't left unsaid.

"...Greil, might I ask if you have any suggestions on where we should flee to? Being locked up in this building has been messing with our sense of direction somewhat, and I don't know how well we can get to safety."

He appeared to take a moment to think about the question, before coming to an answer.

"As of now, I'd say south to Gallia would be your best choice. My son and the rest of my mercenary group should be within its borders by now, if he hasn't decided to do anything reckless, stupid, or recklessly stupid. If you find them, you should be in good hands."

Mia's expression suddenly became one of surprise.

"You have a son?! What's his name? What's he look like? Did you train him?"

I was caught off-guard at how she was able to act this carefree while in the middle of a warzone. But then I remembered that was just how she was.

Greil, for his part, was unfazed, and answered without pause.

"His name is Ike. He's a bit shorter than me, with wild dark blue hair, and has recently taken to wearing a green headband. And yes, I did teach him in the sword myself. He's still inexperienced, but I have no doubt that he'll go on to do great things - in fact, I have a feeling that he may end up surpassing me at some point."

If I didn't know better, I'd swear that Mia had stars in her eyes after hearing that.

"Wow, he sounds amazing! Thanks, Greil! But we should probably get going now. We _are _still standing in the middle of a battleground, after all!"

Her words somehow forced me to turn my head around… and surprisingly enough, there was another myrmidon charging towards us. Acting quickly, I snatched up the Iron Sword that the one Greil killed had been carrying, and interposed it in the path that our assailant's weapon was taking. Thanks to my superior strength stat, I was able to break the blade-lock in my favor, landing two slashes in an X-shape across his chest.

**+9 EXP**

The force of the attacks sent him backpedaling with an unsteady enough footing to send him crashing to the ground on his back. I took the opportunity to end his life with gusto, smacking away the sword he feebly attempted to raise to block the strike that would end his life, then spinning with the momentum and driving my weapon through his chest.

**+29 EXP**

Greil seemed to take notice of my method of dealing with the interruption.

"Hmm… you know, you're not half bad. Your form needs work, and your strikes aren't as powerful as they could be, but you definitely have potential. Here's hoping you live long enough to fully realize that potential."

_Uh… okay. Did… did I just get complimented by the freaking Great Rider Gawain himself?! Holy shit, that's amazing! I mean, I knew that the system would be helping me out with combat until I got the hang of it myself, but I never thought it was good enough to warrant praise from him, of all people! Jeez…!_

"Um… thanks, Greil. Ah, it… means a lot. Really."

Not letting myself freeze up, I picked up the blade of my most recent confirmed kill, and offered the handle to Mia.

"But seriously, we should start moving. I'm sure that they have more men than that, and I don't want to get thrown back behind bars only minutes after escaping… or lose my life. Are you with me?"

At my words, she took the Iron Sword off my hands without hesitation.

"Do you even have to ask?"

We were interrupted yet again, funnily enough, by a hulking mass of blue armor that had a head with spiky auburn hair poking out the top, carrying a Steel Lance.

"Ah, Commander, there you are! Shinon spotted some more cells over this way - if we break the prisoners out, it should cause enough chaos to turn the tide in our favor!"

Greil turned to look in the new arrival's direction for a second.

"Good work, Gatrie. Go see if you can draw the rest of the guards away from their posts. That should make opening the doors easier."

"Roger that!"

The Knight then impaled a charging soldier and kicked him off his lance before lumbering away. Greil turned back to us.

"Seems like this is where we part ways. I trust you'll be able to handle yourselves?"

Mia gave a confident smile.

"Oh, I'm sure we'll be just fine. I'd tell you to worry about yourself, but I get the feeling you've already got that covered."

Greil gave a low chuckle at that.

"Heh. I suppose I do. Safe travels, you two."

I decided to add some parting words of my own.

"Good luck on the rest of your mission. Give those blackguards a right proper thrashing for me, all right? Good. See ya!"

And with that, we ran off.

Bringing up the conditions menu led to it continuing the streak of surprises - it displayed this level as chapter 2-1, which meant that it had multiple parts. Its name was 'The Commander's Will' - which I gathered to be related to Greil. The victory condition for this first part was actually the Tellius-exclusive 'Arrive' objective. The map revealed that our goal was what looked to be the supply area. Appropriate, seeing as how Mia was only human and would need food, water, and weapons to survive until we met up with Ike. As per normal, we also had many enemies standing in our way.

The first of these enemies were two fighters, who were apparently very bad at teamwork, given how they nearly ran each other into the ground a few times before reaching us. They were quick to separate once we were in range.

While I did have some misgivings about leaving Mia to fight one of the axe-wielders completely on her own, given her notoriously poor performances in Path of Radiance, my sense of logic that told me that this world had proven time and time again that RNG wasn't everything overrode my worries.

I decided in that moment that I wanted to be bold, so when I saw that my opponent was beginning to prepare an attack, I charged forward faster than he could react. My borrowed blade's pommel met his face, and I managed to combo it into a slash that left a long, curved crimson line on his visage that miraculously didn't take out any of his eyes.

**+10 EXP**

In an amazing display of luck, the blind swing that he threw out in response to the injury ended up catching me completely off-guard, slamming into my side and sending me scrambling for purchase on the dirt floor. After regaining my footing, I heard Mia shout me a warning. Swiveling my head in her general direction, I found that her target had decided that I would be a much easier target and was now readying a strike that would do some serious damage if it connected. Unfortunately for him, Mia's call alerted me to his plan, and I was able to dodge in time while simultaneously delivering a counterattack.

**+10 EXP**

That knocked him back over to Mia, who finished him off with a classic backstab. With threat number one finished, I returned my attention to my original target, who by that point had finished wiping the blood out of his eyes from my earlier wound. We both charged each other at an unspoken signal. I slid into a kneeling position to dodge his two-handed woodcutting swipe, letting the Iron Axe fly over my head, before lashing out with a brutal backhanded uppercut slash that for some reason was so strong that it launched him eight feet straight up into the air. And with my brain subconsciously accepting that the laws of physics were out to lunch in that moment, it ordered my instincts to have me jump up after him and perform a two-handed overhead flipping strike that meteor-smashed the fighter back down to the dirt, while letting me land with a flourish.

**+30 EXP**

**14/100**

**LEVEL UP!**

**Number rolled: 81**

**+6 stat points**

_Finally! RNJesus has blessed me once again! Praise our lord and savior GabeN, god of Steam Sales and conqueror of wallets!_

I stuck to my guns for this one, while also trying to patch up some of my weak points.

**Level: 6^ +1**

**HP: 22^ +1**

**STR: 9^ +1**

**MAG: 6^ +1**

**SKL: 7**

**SPD: 9^ +1**

**LCK: 7**

**DEF: 8^ +1**

**RES: 5^ +1**

Before time resumed, I caught a glance of what looked to be an open and unattended doorway. An idea half-formed itself in my mind, and I re-checked the map to ensure that it would work.

Sure enough, I discovered that the place was littered with Visit tiles - and that meant free items ripe for the taking. But with how many there were, and their locations, I knew it wasn't something that could be soloed efficiently. So…

"Hey, Mia! You see that room over there? The one with the open and unsecured door? Keep an eye out for any other places like it, and if you see one matching the description, try walking inside and checking for anything that might be useful. You never know when you might find a neat new sword."

"Got it, thanks!"

We mutually agreed to split up and meet at the supply room later.

With that done, I jogged over to my mark and scavenged around. Lo and behold…

"Well, well… seems like someone left their nest egg behind. I don't think anyone will mind if I just… yoink!"

**Received 500 Gold.**

_Heh heh heh… god, I'm such a heartless dick._

What happened next was… well, let's just say that I'm still not sure if it was luck, incompetency, or a combination of both.

I ended up tripping on the frame while walking back through the doorway, which sent my head forward just far enough to make the arrow that had been loosed at me from the left puncture nothing but air instead of my noggin.

My eyesight locked on to the exiting projectile for all of 1.3 seconds, then swiveled 180 degrees to spot the offending archer, who looked just as dumbfounded as I most certainly was at my completely unintentional dodge.

Fortunately for me, I was able to recover from my stupefaction much quicker than him.

**+10 EXP**

He fell to the ground, with that look still plastered on his face. His expression didn't falter until it had a sword shoved through it. Naturally, I found that hilarious.

**+30 EXP**

Triangulating Mia's position using the map was easy. Her venture so far had rewarded her with a Slim Sword - which, considering it's reputation, wasn't exactly cause for celebration of any kind, but hey, it had crit. That was something, right? And that wasn't counting the fact that between the both of us, all we had for equipment at the moment were two swords of unknown quality wrenched from the hands of dead soldiers, so having a spare blade was never a bad thing.

Something that worried me was that she had apparently taken a hit or two at some point. Those of you who know even the slightest bit about Mia should recall that her durability… well, let's just say that she can survive a stiff breeze, but not much else. That knowledge left me understandably afraid that she might not make it out of this alive if I let her be for too long.

These fears were almost immediately assuaged by her dispatching of two adversaries within five seconds of each other.

_Jeez. There's definitely a difference between assisted and all-natural badassery. Suppose that's only the expected result of years of training._

I then made my way over to my next target, encountering surprisingly no resistance along the way. Though it wasn't really that surprising, given how I assumed that practically every soldier in the camp was being drawn to wherever Greil was at any point in time. He might as well have been a game-breaking 'Provoke' bot that forced nearly every single enemy on the map save for a select few to suicidally charge towards him.

I stopped and hid myself behind the corner leading to the next visit tile. Strangely enough, all it had for protection was a solitary mage carrying a Fire tome, and nothing else.

Checking the guy's stats, it only reinforced what I already knew beforehand: Magic tomes in Tellius were kinda wimpy when compared to those of other continents.

Now, for the player characters, that simply means that more emphasis is put on the magic stat of the mage wielding the tome. But for the enemies, well…

Okay, there's really no point in sugar-coating this: generic mages are laughable excuses of obstacles in Path of Radiance's early game. Their stat spreads are painfully average, and the fact that most of them wield E-Rank tomes that are just generally terrible in terms of Might means that their damage output is comparable to that of a balloon sword. The fact that quite a few recruitable allies have weirdly high Resistance scores for being physical classes is just insult to injury.

Note that they do get considerably more dangerous as the game goes on. Particularly the assholes with siege tomes. Getting hit by a stray flaming rock or lightning bolt or ice storm is never fun. And don't even get me started on the thrice-damned status staves.

But for now, I would have no trouble at all with taking out this trash unit. With my little analysis over, I arrogantly stepped out from my cover. The sound of my boots on the stone-gray floor attracted his attention in no time, and he quickly readied himself for a spell.

Now, just because I was confident that I could survive at least four of these didn't mean I would go ahead and not try to dodge. If anything, getting in this practice now would do wonders in helping me avoid future Elfires, Arcfires, Bolganones, and- you get the idea.

The first and last fireball he threw at me sailed past my head and impacted the ground a short distance behind me. He didn't even get the time to shoot another, as by that point he was nearly bisected in two separate places.

**+29 EXP**

_Done and dusted. _

I suddenly had a thought about the offensiveness of that phrase in the Undertale 'verse. I quickly disregarded it and turned my attention to the room my dead adversary had been blocking off.

I poked around a bit… and found an amazing treasure.

"Ooh… aren't you a beauty. Fancy seeing one of your kind here. I was under the impression that you were exceedingly rare. Well, no matter. You're coming with me."

**Received an Energy Drop.**

Yes, you read that right. _A freaking Energy Drop._

I had just gotten an incredibly valuable stat-booster in the god damn _second chapter._

That was going straight into the convoy. There was no way I would be able to figure out what to do with it right away.

_Shit, just thinking of all the hours I'll spend debating with myself over how to best use this is already giving me a migraine. Through fucking Gamer's Mind._

But this was no time to think about the future. Now, I had to break through to the supply room. That didn't end up taking very long at all.

Mia was waiting there for me. I saw that a Vulnerary had been added to her inventory, and that it had already been used once. Honestly, that would probably end up being a godsend, seeing as all mine were taken and there weren't any friendly healers around.

"Hope I didn't keep you waiting too long."

"Naw, it's fine! I've only been here a minute or so. Took down three more on the way!"

"Sheesh, you're leaving me in the dust here! I only managed to add two to my body count!"

"Oh, don't worry about it too much. I'm sure you'll catch up eventually. But for now, we've gotta move!"

"Right. If we cut through here, we should be able to get outside pretty quickly. Follow me, and make sure to grab whatever you might need to survive for a week or so on the road! When you do, hand it over to me!"

"Got it! Let's go!"

We quickly set about scouring the strangely spacious room for traveling necessities. Fire tools - flint & steel, woodcutting axe, the works - were hastily stored away. I figured we'd be fine without sleeping bags or a tent as I had been roughing it for the past week without any major problems. Some spare food scattered around that I deemed safe to eat was taken. Extra vulneraries never hurt anyone, either. And in a stroke of luck, I happened across a Steel Sword. I wasn't quite strong enough yet to wield it without a speed penalty, but the extra damage would be nice if I found myself in a tough spot.

"Hey, you mind telling me where exactly you put all that? I don't see any bags on you…"

_Crapbaskets. Should've known she'd start asking questions sooner or later. But she'll have to wait - we still have unfinished business._

"Priorities, Mia. Escape and survive now, questions about my pack rat-ness later."

"Oh, right. Whoops."

"No big deal."

We finished up our storage heist in short order, and exited through the back door. We only had a corridor or so left to go until we were out of the camp and home free.

**VICTORY CONDITIONS HAVE CHANGED**

**Escape with Mia**

Falling into a habit, I checked the map once again.

There were 9 enemies standing between us and a clean getaway - one of which had a tell-tale shield icon next to his map sprite, marking him as the local big cheese.

His detailed info page revealed that his name was Gatten. And… apparently, he had a 'chapter start' quote.

"Sigh… of course I'm the one getting stuck with the job of guarding the South Gate. Stupid parents… who names their kid after a castle defense position?! The duty roster practically writes itself. Why can't I ever be on the front lines? Sentries have dreams too, you know… well, no matter. At least I have a better chance of survival than all those other idiots. I swear, it's like every single one of them has some sort of death wish. I mean, _honestly_, how brainless do you need to be to think that rushing the guy that just crushed half a prison camp with nothing but a giant axe and two buddies is a good idea? But that's life, I suppose. You just have to take the dummies with the geniuses."

_Jeez. It's like the game's compelled to create bosses that are pretty much just ordinary shit-outta-luck dudes. If I could avoid killing them, I probably would. Buuuuuut I can't, so I won't. Sorry, bro. You'll get no sympathy from me._

The enemy forces were comprised of two myrmidons, two soldiers, a fighter, an archer, a mage, a priest, and Gatten, who was also a fighter. Our first two obstacles were a swordsman and a lancer.

I turned to Mia, offering a strategy.

"You take the duelist. Your sword-arm doesn't have as much muscle behind it as mine does, so you won't be able to puncture the spearman's armor as well as me, and I'm pretty sure your agility outclasses basically everyone here save Greil, so it'll be easier for you to dodge his attacks. Sound good?"

She nodded

"Yeah, good luck. Call out if you need any help."

"Thanks. That goes for you, too. And remember to use your vulneraries if you deem it needed."

"Right!"

And with that, we charged.

The enemy Myrmidon noticed us first, and was the first one who attempted a counter-charge. Mia, owing to her higher speed stat, had taken the lead in the sprint and ended up reaching him first. I watched them exchange blows for a brief moment before turning my attention towards the soldier, who was also running towards Mia in an attempt to catch her off-guard. Naturally, I put a stop to that straightaway.

Coming in from the side, I swung my drawn Iron Sword directly downward onto the metal tip of his lance, forcing it into the ground. When it made contact, the sudden resistance forced his grip on the shaft to falter, and I took the opportunity to stab at any exposed fleshy areas in my range of vision. Two wounds were inflicted before I noticed him regaining a firm hold on his weapon and retreated to dodge the retaliatory swing.

**+10 EXP**

It was plain to see that he had committed to the attack a little too much, leaving himself open for a slash that cost him his Iron Lance, and a subsequent critical face-stab.

_If I were a Spy, I'd call myself a hacker. But I'm not, so I won't._

**+30 EXP**

**LEVEL UP!**

**Number rolled: 69**

**+5 stat points**

I tried and failed to resist the hilarity of the 69. My laughter lasted for a good thirty seconds before petering out.

I figured I would need some more bulk to take on the chapter boss, and a little luck never hurt anyone. Well, except maybe the other guy.

**Level: 7^ +1**

**HP: 23^ +1**

**STR: 10^ +1**

**MAG: 6**

**SKL: 7**

**SPD: 10^ +1**

**LCK: 8^ +1**

**DEF: 9^ +1**

**RES: 5**

I turned back to Mia to see if she needed any help, only to see her standing over the dead body of the myrmidon with an exasperated expression and her off-hand on her hip.

"Oh, come on, I barely scratched you! Get back up and fight me like your kind's supposed to!"

I simply sighed at this display.

"Uh… Mia? You… do know that he's dead, right?"

Her eyes snapped back to me, and her face morphed into a carefree smile quick as I could blink.

"Oh, yeah, definitely. I'm just a little annoyed he didn't last longer. And I kinda felt like being silly."

I couldn't really fault her for that. Not when I myself had fallen victim to that same compulsion countless times during my previous lifetime. Of course, it often led to me getting into trouble with whatever authority figure was watching over me at the time, but that's neither here nor there.

"If you say so."

I checked the conditions menu again and surveyed the rest of the competition. It then occurred to me that we didn't have a fall-back strategy in case I failed to come up with a concrete plan on the fly like I had been doing since I got here. So…

"Hey, I think we should come up with a sort of standardized battle plan - you know, something that we can use as a baseline for more specific methods of taking down challengers, and to fall back on if we can't come up with anything. Sound good?"

The swordfighter rapidly bobbed her head up and down, which I took as a resounding 'yes'.

"All right, so… well, something tells me that you're far more interested in dodging hits rather than taking them and pushing through the pain and blood loss. Correct?"

This got a definitive answer, accompanied with a… well, I still can't tell if that grin was nostalgic or sad. Or a combination of both.

"Yeah… I came to terms with the fact that I wasn't gonna be the hardiest branch on the tree a while ago. So I started focusing more on avoiding punishment and less on just standing there and taking it. Why?"

_Okay, prototype number one._

"Well, I was thinking that we could try going forward with me at the front and you behind. I'd like to believe that I'm a fair bit more durable than you, and I'm passable at making enemies hit air instead of me, so it makes sense for me to be the one drawing the attention of whoever might want us dead. Once I do that, you spring up from behind and take 'em by surprise - maybe try some backstabs if you get the chance. That sound like it might work?"

Mia contemplated that for a moment.

"Hmm… well, it sounds doable. But… I dunno, I just… well, it would feel a little weird, and… kinda like cheating? Of a sort? I mean, I've always thought that the proper way to beat a foe was to charge them head-on, clash, and pray that your skill would carry you to victory. I guess you could say that using this strategy would leave a bad taste in my mouth."

Something about that statement bothered me.

"This coming from the girl who impaled a man through the back not thirty minutes earlier?"

My response brought out her irritated face.

"That was different, okay?! We all knew it would be a two-on-two, so it would only be natural for us to keep tabs on everyone fighting. And I'd be lying if I said he didn't totally deserve it, since he did try to do the same to you."

_Okay, that's fair. But there's still something eating at me…_

"...hey, random question - how long has it been since you took your first mercenary job?"

Now it was her turn to do the Nolan.

"Huh? Well… I'd say about a year, give or take a few months. I don't see how that's important, though…"

_Ah, that explains it. She's not worldly enough to know that honor's a death trap._

"That's it, then. Listen - I'm assuming that what I'm about to tell you should be standard knowledge for all sellswords, so here we go. That way of thinking can and will get you killed. I would expect you to know that, being a blade-for-hire yourself and all, but I don't mean it in the way you're thinking."

I put all my brainpower into finding a way to explain this subject to someone who wasn't genre-savvy.

"What I'm trying to say is… well, have you ever had someone try and sneak up on you while you were dueling someone else? Or had someone play dead to kill you while your back was turned?"

That got a look of… I suppose 'surprised contemplation' would be the best description from my orange-clad partner.

"Because both of those tactics, along with countless others of their nature, are viable 'dirty tricks' that have been used time and again to gain the upper hand in a fight. I'm not saying that I've ever tried any, but if I had the chance and the ability to make them work, I would use them without hesitation. If you ask me, living is more important than dying by whatever kind of 'code of honor' you've adopted. You can always just find someone else to fight that doesn't want you six feet under. But that's just my opinion."

I sighed at the effort I was expending to make my thoughts understandable. Wordsmithing on the fly's much harder than you'd think. I gained a new respect for all the ridiculously theatrical and over-the-top characters I could remember on that day.

"Okay, I can understand if that was a little hard to follow, but my point is that you should never assume that your opponent won't cross any lines. Especially if you're fighting someone with a commoner's background. Take every advantage you can possibly get whenever you're in combat, whether it be utilizing the environment to your benefit, like kicking up dirt to obscure your foe's vision, or double-teaming a solitary enemy. You do that, and I'm sure you'll survive longer than most."

From what I could tell, Mia took my words seriously, but still seemed a little hesitant in accepting them. Finally…

"...all right. I don't like it, but I get what you mean. I shouldn't expect a fair fight from everyone - if I do, I'll get a blade or lance or some other weapon through my backside sooner or later. Thanks for the advice."

"Ah, it was nothing. Really."

That was when I noticed her eyes locking onto something behind me, narrowing, then widening. Shortly after, she took action.

"Speaking of backstabbers, you might want to duck!"

Needless to say, we both hit the deck. Not a second later, something whizzed over both our heads. The brown body and metal head marked it as another arrow. Turning my head around, I caught sight of the source: the enemy group's archer.

However, he wasn't the only one. I noticed two other men next to him, whose clothing and weaponry pinned them as the faceless mage and fighter of the Daein guards. How they made it that far without either me or my buddy noticing them is anyone's guess. By this point I had realized that the situation was quickly escalating, and that we should probably start moving before it got too out of hand. With that in mind, I voiced the basic firefight survival ground rules.

"Try running in an erratic zig-zag pattern - keep 'em guessing, and they won't be able to get a good bearing on you. Oh, and whatever you do, _don't stop moving._ Ready? GO!"

And we were off. The grounded bunny-hopping pro strat ended up working very well for being somewhat half-baked, as evidenced by the fact that nearly all the projectiles launched our way missed their marks. The operative word being 'nearly', as the mage actually seemed to have some semblance of a luck stat and was able to hit me via a poorly-aimed fire spell that somehow ended up flying in such a way that made it look like he had predicted where I was going to move next and launched the flare accordingly.

Let me tell you: the extra-crispy feeling of a burned arm is one of the farthest things from 'pleasant' I can imagine.

Of course, there was no way in hell that Gamer's Mind would let me stop for something as pitiful as a third-degree burn. (And even then, it was more along the lines of a second-degree burn due to my above-average resistance.) I didn't see Mia within my field of vision, which told me that she was following our strategy and staying behind me for safety. We continued the charge until I came within range of the fighter.

It was here that my system-given skills kicked in again, allowing me to once again flip over my assailant's strike - and this time, the rest of him as well. His reaction speed wasn't quite up to par, giving me enough time to gouge two nasty-looking red trenches on his back.

**+10 EXP**

His next mistake was trying to turn in my direction, completely forgetting about Mia in the process. As you'd expect, she capitalized hard on that advantage, landing an incredible-looking triple slash combo on the poor fool that knocked him around a fair bit.

I would have taken advantage of that, were it not for the fact that I could see the other two enemies preparing to fire on me again. The instant I heard the '_Thwip!_' of the bow and the '_Shwoom!_' of the tome, I dove to the side. This resulted in both the arrow and the fireball colliding with the disoriented fighter, knocking him back to Mia like he was in the bumpers section of some demented pinball machine. His suffering was ended when Mia pulled the timeless Iaido draw-strike on him, making him collapse to the floor like a sack of potatoes.

Meanwhile, I was sprinting like a madman towards the dick with the quiver. He became understandably spooked, firing wildly in my general direction with barely any accuracy on account of his hands shaking like he was standing on Daein's highest peak in the middle of winter.

Ducking under one last arrow, I slashed the bow out of his hands and subsequently drove my blade through his chest.

**+29 EXP**

Hearing the Iron Bow clatter to the ground, I suddenly got an idea and picked it up, along with one of the arrows from the newly-dead archer. In a stroke of fortune, the arm guard he was using actually fit mine neatly.

I had tried archery a number of times in my previous life, and I didn't do half bad if I do say so myself. But that was with 21st-century compound bows and barbless arrows, shooting from a standing position at a stationary target a fixed distance away. This was something entirely different.

As you might expect, it took a good few traded shots just to get a slight hang of how the damn thing worked. Neither I nor the mage were particularly adept at hitting our mark, though I suppose his shortcoming was more nerves and less actual lack of skill, whereas I was the opposite thanks to Gamer's Mind.

I ended up taking another fireball to the side before finally managing to land a hit on my target's torso.

**+10 EXP**

The pain broke his concentration enough for Mia to abruptly dash in and cut him down without fear of being set aflame.

I tossed the bow aside, now knowing that it wouldn't be worth taking along. The arm guard went along with it.

However, I did consult Anna on how I was able to deal damage with it without having a weapon rank in it. I read her response while occasionally sipping from a Vulnerary.

**-{Anna}-**

**On everyone else, weapon ranks are estimates of that person's skill level with any given weapon type.**

**For you, however, they are indicators of how much combat assistance you'll get from the system while using that weapon type.**

**I'm pretty sure that by now, you've noticed that you've been doing some pretty fancy moves while swinging that sword around.**

**That's all thanks to your D-Rank in that weapon type, which gives the system the ability to assist you in performing feats beyond that which a normal human back on Earth could reasonably replicate. **

**Trust me - once you hit rank S, you'll be pulling some pretty ridiculous and frankly flat-out impossible maneuvers with that pointy stick of yours.**

**But anyway, if you don't have a weapon rank, you'll be relying entirely on your personal skill with that weapon - which is to say, hardly any.**

**Of course, you can always just ask one of your future allies to tutor you, but it'll take weeks, if not months just to hit the equivalent of E-Rank.**

**And even then, you'll still be restricted by the natural laws of the universe, so you won't be whipping out any dragoon jumps or flash-steps with anything other than a sword.**

**So, in short, you can choose to wield a weapon that you're not proficient in, but the effort-to-payoff ratio is so low that it just isn't worth it no matter how you look at it. **

**In this merchant's humble opinion, you'll be much better off staying with your trusty blade.**

_Well. That… explains quite a lot, actually. Damn. And here I thought I could break the game and become a Master Knight. Guess it just wasn't meant to be. And to be honest, that's probably for the better. There's Horse Emblem, and then there's 'every infantry unit is inferior to the busted mounted troops'. An amazing game Genealogy may be, but it's definitely not criticized without good reason._

We turned the corner right around the time I finished my inner monologue and corked the medicinal solution, my HP back at a comfortable 23. The Escape tile was now just a straight shot away.

Obviously, nothing could ever be easy. We still had a Myrmidon, a Soldier, the lone Priest, and Gatten himself to deal with. However, the detailed info pages of our new foes revealed that they were a few cuts above the last two of their kind we had squared off against. It wouldn't be as simple as the previous encounter.

My companion and I briefly stopped to survey the area in front of us. With that done, I offered what I considered a 'motivational pick-up'.

"There's our way out. All we have to do now is kick ass, take names, and run like hell. So, assuming we're both prepared… LET'S DO THIS!"

I suddenly took off in the direction of our objective.

"_LEEROOOOOOOOOY JEEEEEEENKIIIIIIIINS!_"

Mia was apparently just as hyped as I was, if her enthusiastic warcry was any indication.

"YEEAAAAAAAAHH!"

Our brazen actions seemed to unnerve our opposition. I couldn't really blame them - I'd probably think twice if I saw two psychos carrying swords running full tilt in my direction, too. However, they weren't the type to let something as silly as a little fear impede their combat performance, and fortified themselves for our inevitable assault before cautiously advancing forward.

I started things off by using my momentum to power a lunging stab. I tried my best to keep the telegraphing to a minimum, but it wasn't enough, as the soldier was able to dodge to the side before the blade reached him. When I saw how he was maneuvering his weapon, I quickly lowered myself before the side of the spear could meet my head. I was then forced to jump to the side myself to avoid the return stab he sent my way, while managing to land some glancing blows on both skin and plate.

**+11 EXP**

For a short minute after, it was a stalemate. Nobody could get any good hits in, and attempts were either dodged or blocked with skilled movements. Sneaking some glances toward Mia when I found the time revealed she and the enemy swordsman were in the same situation - all prangs and whiffs, and no blood to speak of. Which was impressive, considering that she was a fair bit faster than him.

I realized that we would get nowhere pretty shortly if nothing changed. So, naturally, I tried to spice things up.

"Mia! Switch!"

We disengaged from our current targets and turned our attentions to the other guy. It was now Me vs. the duelist, and Mia vs. the lancer.

Things started to get interesting around this point. My new opponent and I were pretty evenly matched in terms of speed, but I had higher defenses and attack power in exchange for less accuracy, while he had the opposite. Thanks to my strength trumping his, blade-locks often ended in my favor, but I was never quite fast enough to catch him before he was able to bring his sword back into position to send mine harmlessly off to the side. Credit where it was due - this guy was no slouch in any sense of the word.

Eventually, though, I came up with an idea. A ludicrous and wacky one, sure, but an idea nonetheless.

When we finished our next clash and backed away a few paces for a short breather, I raised my weapon as if to perform a charging horizontal sweep. However, whatever my opponent was expecting flew out the window when I instead _hurled _the Iron Sword directly towards him.

It was clear to see that he'd never had to deal with this particular situation before, and thus his body came up with a stock solution: stop and drop. Fortunately for him, he hit the floor in time for the flying instrument of doom to sail right on over him. _Un_fortunately for him, that also meant that he had taken his eyes off me. And as anyone with even a little combat experience should know, ceasing to keep your attention on your foe is one of the worst mistakes you can possibly make in a a fight.

By the time I once again became the center of his vision, I was already in the air, with my shiny new Steel Sword awaiting its chance to taste his innards. He futilely attempted to bring his own blade up in hopes that it would do something, _anything_ to stop my advance, but it was too little, too late.

The superior weapon pierced straight through his breast, going deeper and deeper before poking out the other side and smashing into the stone floor. It didn't take a genius to figure out that he had suffered a critical hit.

**+31 EXP**

**LEVEL UP!**

**Number rolled: 65**

**+5 stat points **

I couldn't resist what I screamed next.

"_**FIVE POINTS!"**_

I figured it was time to git gud, so up went my skill. HP, strength, and speed were practically staple increases at this point. And I decided it was time to get some more magic.

**Level: 8^ +1**

**HP: 24^ +1**

**STR: 11^ +1**

**MAG: 7^ +1**

**SKL: 8^ +1**

**SPD: 11^ +1**

**LCK: 8**

**DEF: 9**

**RES: 5**

_My stat spread's looking more and more like that of a typical Mercenary's. That's good. I never really did like being a glass cannon without a tank or healer nearby._

I put the blue-accented blade back in the convoy and retrieved my Iron Sword. Mia was faring decently, having managed to still not get hit, but no matter what she did, she just couldn't land a decisive blow on the Soldier. Her strikes weren't powerful enough to carry sufficient force through the armor to do any real damage to the enemy, and he was skilled enough to actually outright stop a moderate number of attacks coming his way. If things continued in this manner for too long, it would turn into a battle of attrition, where the side that tired out first would lose. And we all know who that would be.

That wasn't happening on my watch, though. Running up behind the repeat offender, I delivered a quick slash to his back to unbalance him, then followed it up with a backhanded uppercut that forced me to backflip along with it to bleed off the excess momentum. The black-armored baddie was sent flying as a result.

**+10 EXP**

Mia wasted no time in re-acquainting him with the ground. Quite painfully, I might add. Even if he had somehow managed to survive that, I doubted he would be able to use his legs again.

In any case, the next clash would decide our fate. Would we successfully escape into the night, free to run off to Gallia? Or would we fall to the gatekeeper and be recaptured, never to see the light of day again?

Pfft. Oh, come now. What do _you _think's gonna happen? I mean, it's not like I'm the _protagonist _of some shitty _internet story _with enough plot armor to survive a god damn _supernova. _Nawww. That's nutso, bro.

Seeing no need to hurry, I calmly walked up to Gatten, stopping about 15 feet away. I took note of the fact that he was wielding a Steel Axe. Definitely something to watch out for.

"Well, I'll be damned. The day everything goes south just so happens to be the day that I finally see some real action. Gotta say, fate sure does have a strange sense of humor."

I was of the same mind. But we weren't here to talk philosophy.

"Bask in it while you can, buddy. Something tells me you won't be able to enjoy it for long."

He only sighed.

"Thought as much, myself. Come on, then! If I'm going down, it's gonna be on my terms!"

And just like that, there was nothing more to be said. Except for my plan.

"Keep him distracted while I nail the Priest. I'll help you out when I'm done."

This was a bit of a gamble, as it relied purely on Mia's ability to dodge-tank against a foe that would take her down in three hits or less, but you didn't get anywhere in life without taking a couple risks. Besides, I didn't really expect the puny healer to last for more than thirty seconds.

Soon, the fighting began in earnest. I broke away as quickly as I could, and made a beeline for the scrawny-looking guy in white robes carrying a simple Heal staff. Whether or not Gatten noticed what I was pulling was irrelevant, as my spirited companion kept him on lockdown surprisingly well.

_Heh. And to think, people used to say that girls couldn't throw hands. I'd kill to see the looks on their faces if they ever saw this little demon._

As you might expect, the medic wasn't looking very good. Teeth chattering, jittery staff, shaking like a leaf, the works.

"Normally I'd like to avoid killing a holy man, but… well, war is hell and all that. Sorry."

I at least tried to make it quick.

**+27 EXP**

One short stab to the heart was all it took to drop him.

I turned around to refocus on the ongoing battle against the boss… and promptly sidestepped an incoming tactical Mia.

"-aaaaAAAAAH-OOF!"

She hit the floor pretty hard, sliding a good few feet before coming to a stop, but tenaciously refused to let go of her sword. The swordswoman took a moment to catch her breath, then leapt back to her feet with a remark.

"Whoo, boy! Has anybody ever told you that you hit like a runaway carriage? Because I definitely felt that last one!"

Double-teaming Gatten would be a good idea, but one more hit from that axe would definitely cripple, if not outright kill my cellmate in her current condition. Being the kind of player that tries his best to keep everyone alive, I wasn't too keen on having an ally's blood on my hands, especially not this early in the story. So…

"Rest and recuperate. I'll hold him off as long as I can. When you're back to full strength, feel free to join in at a good time."

Her response to that was taking a Vulnerary out of her satchel and chugging it down.

I blinked.

"Right, then."

And bolted in Gatten's direction.

Thus, the real fight started.

This guy was like Lantz in a lot of ways. More skill than his appearance would suggest, and the drive to use it. I suppose that was a trait shared by most, if not all boss-type characters.

It definitely shone through his fighting style. Almost every strike I dodged only missed by a short hair, and whenever he wasn't able to avoid a slash, it was blocked. I had only managed to land a single hit before help arrived.

**+11 EXP**

Without any warning whatsoever, Mia jumped back in and scored a cut on Gatten's back, carrying enough force to unbalance him and force him to drop his guard for a moment.

That was all I needed. Capitalizing on his moment of weakness, I sent him back to Mia with another slash. She followed up by sending him flying with an uppercutting tornado strike.

I finished him off by leaping up and spiking him back down to earth with a two-handed overhead slash.

**+62 EXP**

**LEVEL UP!**

**Number rolled: 3**

**+3 stat points**

_Oh, boo! Boo, I say! I tag-team overkill a boss in an epic fashion and this is what I get?! Man, fuck the computer!_

I went with a purely defensive level this time.

**Level: 9^ +1**

**HP: 24**

**STR: 11**

**MAG: 7**

**SKL: 8**

**SPD: 11**

**LCK: 9^ +1**

**DEF: 10^ +1**

**RES: 6^ +1**

But this wasn't the time to gripe at my luck.

"That takes care of that. Now I don't know about you, but I'm feeling pretty sick and tired of this damned stone maze. Howzabout we mosey on through that door and get the hell outta here?"

Mia was already walking towards said door.

"Way ahead of you, partner!"

Thus ended chapter 2 of the insane game my life had become.

* * *

**A/N: And now Mia has been introduced! If you couldn't already tell, this little ball of energy will be a constant for most of the Path of Radiance arc. I haven't decided what I'll do with her in the subsequent arcs, but I'm sure I'll figure something out eventually. ****I looked up every single line of hers in all her appearances (yes, even Heroes), and I tried my best to properly emulate her. I'm still not sure if I did a passable job, so I guess I'll let you all be the judge of that.**

**Greil and the ship-jumpers are also featured briefly here. (Well, Shinon isn't, but honestly, that's probably for the better.) Mister Commander and his beloved axe are still as disgustingly overpowered as they was shown to be in vanilla. Seriously, you can't tell me that the guy who beat Petrine without breaking a sweat wouldn't be able to walk all over a prison camp full of average level fives.**

**Speaking of which, this chapter showcases Andrew's combat ability in a setting more fitting of a standard FE map. The last two occasions were against a single opponent and then against three increasingly difficult waves in a controlled environment. This time, he has the freedom to explore the chapter at his own pace, and has an ally to do it with, resulting in much more varied situations.**

**Weapon ranks are also given an explanation. This was my hand-wave justification for why Andrew can go toe-to-toe with standard soldiers and reliably come out on top without any prior training while also restricting him to the conventions of a standard unit. If he doesn't use either a sword or a dark tome, he pretty much becomes dead weight. I'm still unsure about what to do if I end up putting him in a situation where he has to use his fists, though. I'm considering just giving everybody the ability to punch an enemy if they don't have a weapon, using just their strength stat to calculate damage. Kinda like how staff counters worked in Radiant Dawn. (If you ask me, they should also give that to archers in future games. Just give all the bow weapons a hidden melee attack power value and have 'em be used as bludgeoning weapons. It might not end up being much, but at least it's SOMETHING.)**

**So... I think that covers everything. Next time, we get to meet the peeps you've all undoubtedly been dying to see!**

**[TRANSMISSION ENDED]**


	6. Meet the Team

"Okay, I think that's enough traveling for today. You ready for some shut-eye?"

"_Thank you._ I'm all for evening jogs, but it started getting a _little _ridiculous after we hit the 10-mile mark. I mean, I'm not against the training, but… give a girl some time to breathe, will ya?"

"Not my fault if your endurance isn't up to code. _Come back when you can put up a fight_."

_A little Meta Knight never hurt anyone. Or… well, anyone who wasn't in Brawl, at least._

"Hey! My endurance is perfectly fine, thank you very much! It's you who's insane! Remind me - _who _was it that came up with the plan to sneak past that last patrol?"

"Well, it worked, didn't it?"

"_I almost fell off a cliff!_"

"But you didn't."

"Whether or not I actually fell doesn't matter! The fact that I had to get close to the cliff in the first place is the problem!"

"What, you afraid of a little tumble? C'mon, you may not be able to take an axe to the face, but smacking yourself on a few rocks and some dirt won't kill you."

"You are impossible. But, I guess I'm just as insane as you, since I went along with it anyway."

"There we go. See? We're not so different after all."

"No, I guess we aren't. And… to be honest, this whole thing really hasn't been so bad. You make for a pretty decent partner, whenever you're not being crazy."

"Oh, stop it, you."

"Not to mention that you don't seem to have a lot of problems with dueling at dawn."

"All right, all right, let's cut the banter. Much as I enjoy bouncing off you, we really do need to settle down. No fire tonight, or we risk getting spotted. I've got nightwatch, like always."

"Again? I'm starting to wonder if you even need sleep. This is the fifth time you've taken watch. If fact, I don't think I've had watch duty since we broke out of that prison."

"Do you have a problem with that?"

"Well, not really, no, but-"

"Then don't worry about it. I'm not going to keel over from a few sleepless nights. Trust me, it'll take a lot more than that to bring me down."

"I believe that, but… just make sure to take care of yourself, okay? You may not be my fated arch-rival - you wear a little too much black for that - but you're still the most valuable partner I think I've ever had. I say it's still too early to see you go."

"...thanks, Mia. I'll be careful. That goes for you too, though. I don't much like the thought of you biting the dust, either. But I guess that just means that we'll need to keep watching each other's backs, like always."

"Uh-huh. Here's to a long-lasting friendship."

"Cheers."

_Not having wine glasses kinda ruins the mood, but it still gets the point across._

In other news, it was currently night time of day 5 of our little excursion. As in, it's been five days since the big breakout.

We decided that we should try to avoid any soldiers we encountered, lest they call for help and turn a skirmish into a routing. And, as you may have guessed from our chat, this ended up leading to a few… let's say 'radical' plans. But I didn't care what anyone said - they were still worth it. On so many levels, I might add. But those are stories for another time.

I busied myself with finding a comfortable spot while Mia found a good place to lie down and doze off. I ended up settling for a shady spot under a reasonably-sized tree. Thus, my vigil began.

* * *

The night passed without incident. I counted myself lucky that we had somehow managed to evade contact with any Daein soldiers while the moon was up for as long as we had. Me having SI-OC syndrome and everything, I would have expected us to be forced to fight at least one, given my type's reputation as trouble magnets. But it just wasn't meant to be, for some reason.

_Maybe the whole bad situation attraction thing is a myth._

(Throughout the following years, I would come to revoke that statement many, _many _times over. But back to the story.)

_Anna, how much longer until we hit Fort Meritenne?_

**-{Anna}-**

**If my calculations are correct - which they should be, if my profit margins are anything to go by - then you should reach it in about a day and a half, at your current pace.**

I may still have seriously disapproved of Anna looking at the script to read my thoughts, but I couldn't deny that it was incredibly useful for silent conversations.

After all, if I started talking to her out of thin air, Mia would probably think I'd lost my marbles. And I wouldn't be able to blame her for it one bit.

You could say that my concern for myself outweighed my concerns for the fourth wall. But… to tell the truth, by that point I was pretty sure that it may as well have been unsalvageable. To my knowledge, it had already taken several massive hits, especially that one I delivered back when this whole shebang started. If it could withstand all that, it would be fine. If it couldn't… well, it's not like anyone would really miss it, right? I mean, be honest - when was the last time you actually cared about the fourth wall's well-being?

(Hey! Hey, you! Yeah, you! In the back corner! Put that hand down, I'm trying to make a point here!)

That's what I thought.

Anyway, that's not to say that the past five days weren't filled with some sort of action. If we weren't moving, we were sparring. Or, at least that's what Mia thought. (I hope.) The reality was that I was actually testing out the so-called 'new and improved Bonus Experience system'. Anna described it as the solution they came up with to find a middle-ground between the different systems of Path of Radiance and Radiant Dawn. One required less points and granted standard luck-based levels, while the other needed almost comically large number stocks and granted a guaranteed plus-one to any three stats that weren't capped. Both could be abused, but for entirely different reasons.

This new system, on the other hand, was far more grounded in realism, which was unsurprisingly a running theme in this experience. Spending bonus experience granted time with me and my partner to work on any one area. Any stat could be picked to be improved - even luck, for some weird reason. Sometimes multiple stats could be improved at once, though at a much slower rate.

Of course, this system was meant to take major effect within a timeframe focused on weeks to months, so five days wouldn't make a groundbreaking difference. But it was still something, so I'd take what I could get.

And, if the match that occurred after we stopped at our next campsite had anything to say about it, 'what I could get' amounted to getting Mia to the point where she could now consistently double-attack me.

We were both wielding sticks that I had used my totin' chip skills to whittle into rods resembling the 'trainer' weapons that Ike and Greil had used during FE9's prologue. Apparently, the system did in fact end up labeling them as trainer weapons - complete with the Might advantage over Iron Swords.

I still did not have a single damned clue on how the hell that worked. I was tempted to say that it ran on Nonsensoleum, but given this series' tendency to rely on the exact opposite, it didn't really seem feasible.

Something I did end up noticing was that their description listed that they could not be used to kill anyone - if a mortal blow was struck, the target would instead be reduced to 1 HP. I figured that it would be a reasonable limitation… if we were still playing by conventional FE rules. The way I saw it, you could just swap to a standard sword the second your enemy hit crisis mode and finish them off in a single hit. Then again, these things weren't really meant to be used outside of sparring matches, so… hmm.

I eventually came to the conclusion that the system would somehow restrict them from being equipped in an actual battle to prevent them from being exploited. Granted, it wasn't a very great conclusion, but I didn't really have a lot of credible sources at the time, so that could be excused.

In any case, by the time evening hit, I had BEXP-abused Mia to the point where both of us would lose to the other within three standard rounds of combat. Or, more specifically, to the point where she could down me in six attacks, while I would down her in three.

Actually… technically, if every attack hit, I would still win every round owing to how follow-ups worked. The only way Mia could win would be if she somehow gained the Desperation skill and initiated combat first. But that's only with the series' old standards, and they didn't mean squat here. As evidenced by the outcome of that match.

_**TAK! TAK! TAK!**_

"Hrng!"

_**SSSSS-TAK!**_

"Gotcha!"

_**SWACK!**_

"Ngeh-!"

_**WHOOMP!**_

"Heh heh! Looks like this round goes to me!"

"Oohg… nice one. I think that makes it 6 - 4, your favor."

"Whew… yeah, sounds about right. Okay, c'mon, up you go-!"

I grasped her hand and let her pull me back up to a standing position.

"There. Gotta say, evening duels aren't as nice as dawn duels, but they do have their own little perks."

"Sure do. Here's one - after you win, you get to ride off into the sunset."

"Really? I thought only farmers could make that look good."

"Mia, if it can work for farmers, it can work for _everyone_. Trust me on this."

"Whatever you say, partner."

We both turned to check out the sunset.

"...y'know, no matter how many times I see a sunset, it never gets old. 'Course, it doesn't hold a candle to a sunrise, but they just have this… well, it's a little hard to put into words. You get me?"

"...yeah, I guess. But… honestly, I was never really one for appreciating the natural beauty of the environment. Suppose that comes with the territory of being a city boy. Walking down the cobblestone road with the sun behind you's… nice, I suppose, but I didn't really pay much attention to that sort of thing. I was always more invested in my studies than hanging around others."

Her head twisted to look at me in surprise.

"You went to school?"

_Here we go. Hope my storytelling skills are up to par, 'cause I'm about to bullshit up a storm._

"Was going, up until the assault on Melior. Kinda hard to learn anything if the classroom's trashed, eh? Luckily I wasn't caught up in the brunt of it - I was out of town at the time, so when the news hit, I packed my things and got the hell away as fast as my legs could carry me. Unfortunately, I wasn't fast enough. They had already spread to the Arbor region by the time I made it there, and I ended up crossing paths with one of their platoons. Believe it or not, I actually beat their squad leader in a duel, which also happens to be the sole reason why they only captured me instead of killing me on the spot. And that's how I met you in that cell."

"Wow, really? Cool! What were you studying? Magic? I bet it was magic."

"Right you are. How'd you guess?"

"I've actually come across quite a few mages in my travels. Once you get used to the way they talk, it gets kinda easy to tell who's a mage and who isn't. Not to mention that they carry themselves differently than other people."

_Impressive. She's a lot smarter and more intuitive than she lets on. But wait…_

"Really? I'd been under the impression that my speech patterns could be likened a lot more to that of a common man than an intellectual. I mean, sure, I'd like to think my vocabulary's a fair bit larger than a ranch hand's, but that's pretty much the only thing that sets me apart from them. In my eyes, at least."

"But that's just it. The good mages I met had a lot of personality that wasn't really pushed down by their smarts. They were far from the snooty noble types, and if I didn't already know they were mages, I would have thought they were just odd, yet still ordinary people. Or… well, at least some of them were. I don't care to remember the ones who _were_ the snooty noble types. They got annoying faster than I could swing my sword, which is impressive, if I do say so myself. Anyway, they seem like normal people, but once you learn to pick out the details, you can spot them pretty quick. Plus most of them wear robes, and, well… what were you wearing when I first saw you, again?"

"Oh, yeah. But wouldn't you have been thrown off by the leather? I though most of my kin hated body armor."

"Well, they told me that's a bit of a misconception. They do wear armor, but they actually wear it under their robes. Most of the time, at least. You don't see it because it's obscured by all the fabric flowing around. Of course it usually isn't much help against the likes of you or me, but it can really come in handy in a few situations. In fact, one of the mages I know had his life saved by his armor, which knocked enough speed off an arrow to stop it from puncturing his heart. Please don't ask how that worked out, by the way - last I heard, he was still tearing his hair out over trying to figure out how the set was able to pull that off despite being pretty ill-suited for anything of the sort."

_That clears up yet another mystery, then. Man, I'm on a roll!_

"Anyway, what kinda magic were you studying? Fire? Wind? Thunder? Light, maybe? Or are you a healer?"

"None of the above. I'm a practitioner of ancient magic."

"Ancient magic...? Don't think I've heard that one before."

"Makes sense. Hardly anybody ever uses it these days. I have absolutely no idea why, considering how weirdly versatile it is. Oh, and you might know it better as quote-unquote 'dark' magic."

"...wait, you're a Shaman?! I thought that profession was banned after the Daein Royal Plague incident! How'd you get taught in a school inside the capitol?"

_Shit. I guess that's one way to hand-wave their disappearance. Uh… okay, how about this?_

"Well, let me tell you one of the first things my instructor said to me: 'the very idea that the ancient arts were involved in the succession crisis is the single most ridiculous notion I will ever see, read, or hear.' He then went on an hour-long rant to back up his claim. I listened, but I started zoning out about five minutes in. I do remember him mentioning something about a 'blood pact', but I disregarded it after combing the local library and finding no traces of it."

"So they just… let you study it, no questions asked?"

"Oh, dear gods, no. You didn't really think they'd trust a bunch of kids with dangerous spells and hexes that could get them killed if they weren't careful, right? That would be prime scandal material. There were assistants everywhere - you couldn't go five minutes without bumping into at least one. I also heard talk that certain kids felt like they were being watched sometimes. Even in the lavatories."

I let out an involuntary shiver that was only half-faked. Lie or not, saying something like that still makes anyone uncomfortable. Well, except Scooter. But he's kinda-sorta certifiably insane (like literally everyone else on Pandora), so he doesn't count.

"...okay, purging that last bit from my memory. Anyway, could I have a demonstration? I've never seen dark magic before, and honestly, I'm pretty excited."

"Oh… ah, sorry to burst your bubble, but… we weren't really allowed to take our practice tomes anywhere outside campus grounds. Too many legal risks, they said. So… it's probably in the hands of whatever Daein soldier was in charge of sweeping the school for anything useful by now."

"Aww… drat. And I was really looking forward to a light show, too…"

That made me bust out giggling.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing, nothing, it's just… well, you were saying 'light show' to refer to a demonstration of dark magic. Key word being 'dark' magic. You seeing the contradiction yet? Do I need to shout 'Objection!' to make it clear?"

"Ohhh… oh, heh hah! I get it! Yeah, kinda hard to get a light show when the stuff's made entirely of shadows and what-not."

"Yeah…"

The conversation trailed off into an awkward silence… until Mia found a new topic for us to discuss. Or more appropriately, for me to explain and her to find out about.

"Oh, right! You said you were going to tell me how you were able to pack so much stuff without a bag, right? Well, I don't think we're in any danger of dying right now…"

"Huh…? Oh, yeah, yeah yeah yeah. That. Um… well, it's a little hard to explain."

My brain went into crunch-time mode as it frantically chugged away, desperately trying to find an explanation for the convoy that would make sense. Or, alternatively, a way to dodge the question without raising suspicion.

Needless to say, everything did not go better than expected.

"...uhhh…"

_Fuck, why didn't I think up a cover for this? And this is after she displayed suspicion and let me know… can't believe I forgot, again._

After about 15 seconds of non-stop flop sweat, I caved in and went for a cop-out answer.

"...actually, I don't really have a good way to describe it. The best I can do is say 'it's magic.' I don't entirely know how it works, only that it does."

"And how'd you get it in the first place?"

It was then that I saw an opportunity for more self-deprecation. I took it without a second thought, because what kind of artsy-teenager wouldn't?

"To be honest, I can't remember. Big character flaw coming up here - my brain is very picky about the information that it does and doesn't store, and as far as I can tell, determines that with an unknown set of most-likely convoluted and ludicrous rules that make absolutely no sense whatsoever. And for whatever bullcrap reason, me gaining the ability to shove whatever item I feel like into some kinda bottomless pocket didn't make the cut. Do I think that's stupid? Very much so. Do I hate it? Like you wouldn't believe. But can I change it? Well, short of slicing my scalp off and prodding at my gray matter, no. So I've lived with it for 16 years. And… well, if my previous test scores are any indication, it's been working out surprisingly well."

For anyone that would like a 'too long, didn't read' version of that block of text: my memory can be considered average at absolute best, and Dory-level at worst. With a scant few exceptions. It's… complicated.

_Remembering the names and requirements of over 250 Team Fortress 2 achievements? Sure. Remembering to pack for a camping trip tomorrow? Fuck no, you expect me to bother keeping track of that shit?_

"Wait… sixteen? You're that young?!"

"_That's_ what you focus on?! And yes. Why do you ask?"

"Because that would make you four years younger than me!"

"Wait, really? You're twenty…? Huh. Coulda fooled me. If you asked me, I'd swear you were still eighteen. Maybe a little younger, even. You look pretty good."

"Thanks! I try my best. You're not bad yourself, either!"

_Oh. Ah… um. Wow. That… that happened? Did that just happen? Yeah, it did. Uh… okay. _

_Alright, alright, don't let that intimidate you. Just respond like normal._

"Ah… cool. That's… I think that's one of the few times someone actually complimented me on my appearance."

_Ah, crap, I dug myself a grave. Can I get some damage control here?_

"...thanks for that."

_...what the hell am I paying you idiots for? I could've picked that up from the damn bargain bin! You pull this shit again, and you're getting nailed harder than Cecilia!_

"No problem! Y'know, you really don't look sixteen. Heck, the first time I saw you, I was convinced you were in your twenties, too!"

"Really... was it the beard? I bet it was."

"Heh heh, kinda, yeah. You don't see those on teenagers too often."

"Come to think of it, you're right - you don't. I wonder why."

"Who knows. Huh, when did it get so dark?"

I took a look around, and noticed her observation was accurate. The sun had fully set, and light was becoming scarcer by the second.

"Must've been chatting for a while. Oh, well. Bedtime, then. I'll be on watch duty, like always."

"...I'm still a little iffy on your constant sentry urges."

"Your concerns have been noted, and completely disregarded."

"...all right, I guess I shouldn't complain. I do need my beauty sleep."

"That you do. Now hurry up and conk out."

"Will do, partner."

* * *

"Well, there it is. HEY, MIA! COME CHECK THIS OUT!"

"Huh. Who would've thought that we'd come across an old, abandoned fort?"

"You think there might be valuables inside? I hear that long-forgotten buildings have a reputation of housing unexpected riches for bold adventurers."

"...meh, why not? I don't think we're in any real danger. We haven't seen any patrols for the last two days, either. I say we take our chances."

"That's what I like to hear! C'mon!"

"Right behind you, partner!"

We proceeded to make our way through the innards of the place for the next ten or so minutes, checking various alcoves, rooms, and open doorways. Occasionally, we split up to search faster. Unfortunately, what little we came across so far was limited to old, moldy documents and weapons too rusty to be of any use. If there was any doubt that this fort hadn't been occupied for quite a long while, it was gone by that point.

"Boy, what a bust. I was really hoping for some antique goodies that we could pawn off, but I guess it wasn't meant to be."

"Well, I'm not giving up just yet. There's gotta be something here, I just know it."

Shortly after, we came to a familiar-looking route split. Two corridors to the left and right, and a large room to the front. And inside of the room was…

"What the… uh-oh. Daein soldiers here, too?"

"Looks like it. How the hell'd they get here before us?"

"We were in that prison for a few days. That could have given them a big head start. Either way, we should leave. Now, where's that exit…?"

"Wait. Do you hear that?"

_**...ting…**_

_**...tssshing…**_

_**...whoooaaaaoooof…**_

"Yeah, I do… someone… fighting?"

I turned to the left corridor.

"It sounds like it's coming from this direction."

At the faraway corner, I could see what looked like the tail end of a group of people. And if my eyes didn't deceive me, one had a very distinct feature…

"Mia - check it out. See those people over there? What color's their hair?"

"Huh? Well… I see orange… there's a redhead… wait a minute. That guy right there, with the blue hair… you don't think…?"

"I'd say it appears that the wonder-kid has gone and done something reckless, stupid, or recklessly stupid. Let's go. Something tells me he's gonna need some help."

"Right!"

While we made our way towards Ike, I brought up the Conditions menu, surveying the scene of the chapter - surprisingly named 'A Chance Encounter,' and not 'Shades of Evil' like the original. Oscar, Boyd, and Soren were triple-teaming a Soldier down in the lower end of the map. Rhys went off to back them up, while Ike and Titania made their way towards us, apparently having seen us coming their way.

The enemy forces numbered 15 (14 now, since the aforementioned Soldier understandably fell pretty fast), and were mostly comprised of lance-wielding (and occasionally Javelin-wielding) Soldiers and Knights, with a couple Archers scattered around, and a lone Fighter with a Hand Axe sitting in the room we were moving away from. Petrine hadn't arrived yet, since nobody had crossed the invisible line trigger, nor had enough time passed. There was no telling when she might show up with her reinforcements, but it had a feeling it wouldn't be until Ike had made his way up to the two Knights guarding the central hallway.

Speaking of Ike, we had reached him while I was distracted.

"Hey, you! Your name wouldn't happen to be Ike, would it?"

Mia's question seemed to catch him off-guard, which was only logical since he'd never met her before, or at least to my knowledge.

"Uh- yeah, it is, but… who are you?"

"I'm Mia. I'm a mercenary, hired by Crimea to bolster the army's numbers."

"An army mercenary, huh… and what about you?"

He directed his attention over to me.

"My name's Andrew. I was a student in Melior, but I was forced to flee when it was sacked."

He seemed to take the answer without a second thought.

"You went to school? That's… nice, I guess… so, uh, what are you doing here?"

Mia took this one for both of us.

"I was careless and got captured. He beat the leader of a Daein platoon in a duel, but was caught by reinforcements. We got sent off to the same prison camp, and were cellmates for a time. We were saved when Greil stormed the place and broke everyone out."

That caught Ike by surprise.

"You've seen my father? Where?"

I took over for this one.

"Around five or six days north of here. A building about as big as this one."

He breathed a sigh of relief.

"Really? So he's safe…"

And, right on schedule, Mia got a little curious.

"Anyway, if you don't mind me asking… who exactly are you guys? I remember Greil mentioning something about a company and mercenaries, but nothing really specific."

Ike appeared to straighten up a tiny bit at the question. It was a small movement, yet I couldn't help but notice it.

"We're the Greil Mercenaries. We're an admittedly small group - we only have nine combat-worthy members, and three are absent at the moment - but as you can see, we're nonetheless fighting against Daein."

His answer actually seemed to surprise Mia a little, which was honestly kind of impressive.

"Huh… so, you're saying that you're taking on an entire Daein battalion with only six fighters? _Niiiice._ I guess that settles it, then."

Ike's expression reverted back to 'confused'.

"Settles what?"

Mia confirmed her intentions like they were the most obvious thing in the world.

"This battle - I'm coming in on your side. You don't mind, do you?"

I could almost see the oversized drop of sweat appear on Ike's forehead.

"Uh… well, it's, ah, fine with me, but…"

He glanced towards Titania, who had surprisingly remained silent throughout the conversation. Strange. I would've expected her to at least say something by now.

"...I don't know if you'll get paid just because I let you fight."

Titania looked to be half a second away from opening her mouth, but was interrupted by Mia.

"We can worry about the details later. You know, when people aren't trying to kill us?"

Ike seemed like he still had some misgivings, but elected not to voice them and instead turned back to me.

"Well… okay. But what about you, Andrew?"

I made a show of thinking about it, before giving him an answer.

"...meh, why not? I've been getting nothing but harassment from Daein for the past weeks. Suppose it's high time I started paying some of it back."

Like my earlier words, he took them at face value.

"All right, then. If you want to join our side, I won't stop you. And we need all the help we can get either way."

Mia gave a beaming bright smile at the acceptance.

"Great! So, now that that's all taken care of - what's next, boss-man?"

Ike seemed to fumble a tiny bit at being spontaneously put on the spot, but he recovered impressively quickly.

_Must be his natural leadership instinct kicking in. Three guesses where he inherited that from, and the first two don't count._

"Well, me and our deputy commander Titania here…"

He motioned over to said team-carrying redhead, who raised her hand in greeting.

"...were heading up this way to clear out any enemy soldiers who might be roaming around. Speaking of which, there's one now."

He pointed behind us, and sure enough, a lone soldier was making his way towards us. I decided to enlighten him on the credibility of his life choices so far.

"Hey, buddy? Are you absolutely sure you want to do this? You're up against three experienced swordfighters and a woman carrying a very heavy and very sharp axe. It's fine if you're suicidal, but I'm just saying that nobody would blame you if you turned around…"

I got a battle cry in response.

_Freaking Daein pride. Or maybe he's got a lot riding on this. Could be either one, really._

"Okay, then. Don't blame me when you're bleeding out."

I turned back to the other three.

"So, should one of us take him on, or do we all jump him at once?"

Titania finally got her chance to speak, and speak she did.

"I'm confident that Ike or I could handle him, but I wouldn't be opposed to a little quality assurance."

Mia instantly caught on to the intent of her statement.

"All right, say no more! Prepare to be assured of our quality! Let's do this, partner!"

She capped it off by pulling out her Iron Sword. I sighed and did the same.

"Right, right. Suppose it wouldn't be complete without an initiation. I give this clown... thirty seconds."

And then we charged.

I soon realized that giving the poor sod thirty seconds was a gross overestimation. His actual time was around half that, and even then that's being generous.

**+26 EXP**

I turned back to our spectators and performed an expectant gesture.

"Satisfied?"

Titania gave me my answer with a smile.

"I think you two will fit right in."

Mia chimed in.

"Cool! So, where do we go from here?"

Ike pondered for a moment.

"...okay, I think I've got it. Mia, you and Titania will go to the end of this corridor. When you hit the end, turn left and go straight. Andrew, you're with me. We'll split off and cut through the room to the left, then turn right and go straight. If I remember the layout of this place correctly, then we should meet up at a crossroads. We'll leave the rest of the area to Oscar, Boyd, Soren, and Rhys. Let's move!"

_Hot damn, he really __**is**_ _a natural. He just came up with a completely reasonable plan in under fifteen seconds. No wonder he's such a badass._

At Ike's order, Titania immediately began making her way down the corridor. Mia made to follow, but not before turning back to me for a moment.

"See you soon, partner."

"Back 'atcha. Try not to die, 'kay?"

"Roger that. Don't do anything too crazy."

"No promises."

And she was off. I found myself wondering how I had gotten attached to her so fast.

Ike, on the other hand, was already moving ahead. I quickly snapped myself out of my funk and ran after him.

I caught up with the future commander at the doorway up ahead. He was sizing up the sole opponent inside.

"A hand axe… we'll have to be wary of ranged attacks. Make sure to keep an eye on it at all times, and don't think you're out of danger if the first throw misses, as it can strike you in the back on the return trip if you're not careful. I should know - I made that mistake myself once, and I paid dearly for it."

_Oof. Must've happened during the Marcia incident. He probably got hit by the guy with the droppable one._

While Ike was sizing up our enemy, I got the chance to check him out.

**Ike**

**Ranger**

**Lv. 8**

**HP: 24**

**STR: 9**

**MAG: 2**

**SKL: 10**

**SPD: 11**

**LCK: 9**

**DEF: 8**

**RES: 4**

**Weapon Ranks**

**Sword: D**

From what I could remember, his stats seemed around average for his level, if a little blessed concerning Resistance. Interestingly enough, his stat total was actually a fair bit lower than mine - less strength, magic, defense, and resistance, equal HP, speed, and luck, with skill being the only area he surpassed me in, and even then only by a single point.

But when I thought about it, it did kind of make sense, in a weird sort of way. From a gameplay standpoint, up until now, he'd likely been going off standard stat-ups for levels, meaning each stat had an individual chance to increase every level, which in turn led to randomized growth. I counted myself lucky that he hadn't been seriously screwed in any noticeable areas.

That probably hadn't actually happened, considering Anna had always made a point to remind me of how seriously this game took its quote-unquote "realism," but it was nice to have something to fall back on. If nothing else, it reassured me that this guy took his training seriously. Anyway, moving on.

I checked the blade in his hand, and found that it was the Regal Sword - which, compared to my Iron Sword, was superior in every way. Better cutting power, lighter and easier to use, effective against cavalry and armored units, and if that wasn't enough, it had crit! Naturally, I lamented the fact that the main lords always got the coolest toys - until I remembered the existences of Starlight, Forseti, Grafcalibur, the almighty Pugi, the Wing Spear, and _especially _Dire Thunder. Not to mention all the other broken personal weapons across the series.

_Shame that barely any of them pop up during the Mad King's war. We have… this one, Ragnell, Alondite, Gurgurant, Amiti, the Vague Katti, the Wishblade (but not really since it's obtained during the final chapter), Urvan doesn't count since you can't really use it in FE9, uhm… I think Rexbolt and Rexaura make appearances in the last few maps, but one or maybe both require epic thief strats… and I suppose the Double Bow could fit, but it's complete and utter shit in this game. Seriously, what the hell were the devs smoking when they thought it would be a good idea to put in a bow that only shoots enemies at a range of 4 freaking tiles, while also having nigh-nonexistent accuracy and requiring an S-Rank in Bows to even pick up?!_

_So, not counting the ones that can't be accessed by the player, that's… about seven? Wow. Kinda disappointing._

_Though, there is the matter of certain other rare weapons that can only be obtained once… like the magic weapons (Runesword, Flame Lance, Bolt Axe, Sonic Sword) and the brave weapons. _

_Then three years pass and suddenly, EVERYONE has a personal weapon. Tarvos, Caladbolg, Lughnasadh, Thani, Cymbeline, Creiddylad, Valaura, Ettard, Florete… that's nine more personals right off the bat, and I'm pretty sure there's a few more. _

But this wasn't the time to ponder. Right now, I had to focus on making sure that nobody important bit the dust sooner than they were supposed to.

So, first order of business, help out Ike and murder the douche with the throwing axe.

He caught sight of us almost immediately, which honestly wasn't much of an accomplishment considering he was the only person in the room before us. He took his stance, wound up, then chucked the double-sided axe in our direction, the weapon spinning as it hurtled towards me and my new employer.

The thing wasn't particularly fast - its design didn't really allow it to reach the average speed of, say, a good baseball pitch. But it was quick enough to give me a suitably hard time getting out of its path. Seeing as our enemy was now weaponless, we took advantage of that fact and dashed towards him posthaste. But I could faintly hear the annoying little tool whirling around, boomeranging back towards our heads. Then I saw Ike glance behind himself, and yell "DOWN!"

I hit the deck just in time for the hand axe to whizz over my head, nearly slicing off a bit of my hair. Looking up, I saw that our foe had caught the thing while in the middle of a jump, and was now looking to bring it down on us. Thinking quickly, we rolled in opposite directions - Ike to the left, and me to the right, forcing the strike to instead hit the stone floor between us. The fighter attempted to recover, but with his attention split between two different sides, he wasn't left with a lot of time to catch his bearings. A little stun-locking through a pair-up combo attack ensured he fell quickly.

**+29 EXP**

Since I clearly remembered this guy having a chest key on him, I scanned his corpse until I found a golden glint.

"Hey, Ike! Come check this out!"

He redirected his attention to me as I held up a shiny key that was a little larger than my hand, hanging on an oversized keychain.

"A key? Why would a Daein Soldier be carrying something like this?"

"Probably because of that."

I pointed over in the direction of a second smaller room containing a chest. Ike's eyebrows raised themselves up at the sight.

"Is that… a treasure chest? I don't remember coming across anything like that while we were searching this place…"

I disregarded that with a wave of my hand.

"Eh, you probably just forgot to thoroughly check this room. No big deal."

"Hmm… I guess we did."

He seemed to accept that consolation. With that done, I moved on.

"I think I'll go see if it has anything good. You should probably run on ahead and see if Mia and your Deputy Commander have made it yet."

He weighed the suggestion for a bit, then gave his approval.

"All right. But you better hurry. If I know anything about Daein troops, it's that they're likely to have reinforcements on the way. I don't want anyone getting ambushed from behind."

"Will do. You won't even notice I'm gone."

Thus we briefly split up. Ike ran to the left doorway leading to the central corridor, while I headed straight to the chest room.

The glorified locked box still looked perfectly immaculate despite lying here for what I assumed to be at least a decade or two. But that didn't stop my newly-acquired key from working like a charm.

Seeing as how I was a massive loser nerd in my previous life, I couldn't stop myself from singing out the timeless Legend of Zelda chest-opening and item get themes.

**Received an Armorslayer.**

"_Da-da-da-DAAAAAAAA!"_

With my task completed, I strapped on the oddly-shaped blade's sheath and motored back in the direction Ike went.

After exiting the large room, I turned to the right and witnessed Ike battling a pair of armored knights. Although I was still a fair distance away, I could tell that the Regal Sword was working wonders for him with its Rapier properties. That didn't mean he was curb-stomping them, however - far from it. They still had the weapon triangle on their side, not to mention the two-on-one advantage they already had over him.

I could already tell that he was fighting a losing battle, which gave me a sufficient amount of motivation to quickly move myself over to his side. My new weapon gave my opening strike a surprising amount of power, shearing through the plate armor of one of the knights with relative ease. My follow-up forced him staggering back, and we broke off from the other two combatants.

**+9 EXP**

We clashed for a hot second, and I suffered a cut on my side when I fell for a feint, but I came out on top in the end. The Armorslayer made short work of his metal protection, leaving most of it in pieces.

**+29 EXP**

**LEVEL UP!**

**Number rolled: 35**

**+4 stat points**

_Mmm… still not as much as I'd like. But I've already outstripped Ike at this point, so who am I to complain?_

I stuck to my standard HP-strength-speed template, but substituted the fourth point into resistance instead of defense.

_Petrine should arrive soon, along with Balmer. I don't fancy being cooked alive, but in the event I do get hit, I don't want to go down immediately._

**Level: 10^ +1**

**HP: 25^ +1**

**STR: 12^ +1**

**MAG: 7**

**SKL: 8**

**SPD: 12^ +1**

**LCK: 9**

**DEF: 10**

**RES: 7^ +1**

As I came out of the level-up time stop, I heard the meaty sound of a wooden shaft striking a mass of flesh.

_**THWACK!**_

"_Aagh-!"_

_Oh, shit!_

I whirled around, and saw Ike on the floor, the other knight standing over him, poised to end his life. Taking the not-insignificant distance me and my now-dead opponent had created between us and them, even as I started running, I immediately knew that I wouldn't be fast enough to save him.

Thankfully, that job was taken off my hands by a timely arrival.

"_Don't you touch him!"_

A barrage of green-tinted crescent arcs struck the knight, forcing him back quite a few steps and eventually toppling him. I could swear I felt vibrations in the ground when the armored wall crashed to the ground.

Turning my head back toward the way we came, I found another darkly-garbed man running towards us - or more specifically, the blue-haired Ranger trying to get to his feet.

I determined that it was probably a good idea to back up a little. This was a new arrival who had likely not yet been notified of my new allegiance, and considering the hue of my attire, I could easily be mistaken for another enemy. Fortunately, the mage seemed much too focused on helping up his friend to deal with whose side I was on.

"Ike, are you okay?"

He knelt down next to Ike and assisted him in the act of regaining his footing. The task was accomplished without too much trouble.

"Yeah… yeah, I'm good. Thanks, Soren."

Soren didn't look like he even registered the compliment, taking a Vulnerary out and handing it to Ike.

"Don't waste time thanking me when you could be recovering. Here, take this."

As the young commander-in-training began chugging away at the remedy, the Branded man turned to me.

"Based on the fact that you haven't attacked us yet, I assume you must be a new recruit?"

I nodded an affirmative.

"Yeah. Soren, eh? Pleasure to make your acquaintance. I'm Andrew. Good on you for saving him, by the way. I'd be more than a little pissed off at myself if I got an ally killed not even an hour into the job."

I held my hand out for a little shake, but ended up awkwardly lowering it after receiving no reciprocation from the mage.

"...well, jeez. If you wanted to leave me hanging, you could've just said so."

_Probably should've expected that, honestly. He's not exactly known for being friendly… kinda hard to be when you have a reputation as one of the best roasters in the series._

Ike then finished off the Vulnerary, corking it and handing it back to its holder.

"Thanks again, Soren. I don't know where I'd be without you."

His response was unmistakably dry and deadpan as he replaced the container in a belt pouch.

"Either dead or without a tactician. But now that you've recovered, we can advance. I suggest we do so, quickly."

"Right. Let's move."

It was plain to see that the conversation was over. The only thing left to do, as Soren stated, was advance. So advance we did.

It didn't take long for us to hit the junction up ahead. Just as we hit the entrance, Titania and Mia came up into view from the right. Once they caught sight of us, my sword buddy headed for me.

"Good to see you made it through, partner!"

I held out my fist for a bump, which wasn't left hanging this time.

"You too. How was it?"

"Pretty boring, honestly. There were hardly any soldiers along the path. The idiots who went after Miss Juggernaut here were taken out in one blow, and they might as well have been snails compared to me."

"Sounds like you had a bit of an easier time. Me and the boss here had to deal with a jerk carrying a hand axe, and he almost died after going up against two walking suits of armor. If it weren't for Mr. Not-so-Tall, Dark and Handsome here, we'd probably be out of a job right now. Oh, speaking of suits, I got this Armorslayer from a chest that we missed."

"Niiiiiice! Looks like those annoying plates won't be giving you grief anymore!"

"Ain't that the truth."

Unfortunately, at that moment our reunion was cut short by a much more unwelcome arrival. Said arrival made herself known with what could pass as a stereotypical 'evil chuckle.'

"Found you at last. I must say, you provided more entertainment than I thought you would."

We all turned to get a good look at our new adversary.

Even without her horse, Petrine was pretty imposing, what with all the armor, the flame lance, and the entourage. Flanked by two myrmidons and a soldier, the dismounted Paladin strode into the room. Balmer, another knight, and a priest brought up the rear.

Ike asked the question that everyone except me was thinking.

"Who are you?"

The woman snorted, as if amused by the merry little band that was opposing her.

"Me? Hah… I am General Petrine, and my arrival marks the beginning of your end. Lament your terrible fate, dear children, for all hope is lost. None of you will be leaving this place alive."

An inquisitive noise from Soren turned my gaze on him.

"Petrine… of the Four Riders of Daein?"

Surprisingly enough, it was Titania who took the script's next line, not Ike.

"Soren, do you know this woman?"

His next words undoubtedly gave everyone who wasn't already feeling the pressure a pit in their stomach.

"If she's who I think she is, then we're up against one of the four generals who are King Daein's most trusted confidants. This one in particular is said to wield a flaming lance of terrible arcane might."

The pyromaniac in question let out another self-serving chuckle.

"So you've heard of me? Why, I'm flattered! I suppose it would only be courteous of me to offer the chance for you to make this easy on yourselves."

She raised her lance and brandished it towards us.

"Hand over the princess. Now. If I roast the lot of you curs with her in the crossfire, I doubt there will be much of a head left to present to His Majesty."

Ike took a challenging step forward.

"Really? Well, sorry to tell you this, but the princess isn't here. She's been in Gallia for quite some time now."

The statement took Petrine off guard so much that she lowered her weapon for a brief period.

"What… nonsense is this? Do you really expect me to believe you? There's no way my troops would let mercenary scum like you slip past their lines!"

It was at this moment that yet another new arrival appeared. Fortunately for us, this one was infinitely more welcomed.

"You know, they say that blind arrogance sows the field of its own destruction."

Everyone's heads snapped towards the left corridor, which contained a large silhouette. The figure finished his next statement as he walked into the light.

"And something tells me they were talking about you in particular."

Enter Greil, feat. Shinon and Gatrie. Cue confused Petrine.

"Who-?"

Only to have her be cut off by the resident Ranger.

"Father!"

The look the commander gave his son contained no small amount of disapproval.

"What in the world are you doing back here, you dumb pup?"

But if Ike was deterred in any way, he didn't show it.

"We escorted the princess safely into Gallia. But we decided to look for you when you didn't rejoin us. It just… we wouldn't, or couldn't accept the mission as 'complete' until you came back."

Greil just released an exasperated but fond sigh at his boy's commitment.

"...what am I going to do with you? Still, credit where it's due - you did well. Good work, Ike."

Unfortunately, the resident antagonist decided now was the perfect time to ruin the moment with an almost disbelieving laugh.

"Ha! If you're ignoring me, that just proves the fact that you've more guts than common sense. And to think, you're the commander of this rag-tag bunch of misfits… hmph! I was anticipating some great hero, but I see now that you're just another sellsword."

If I didn't know better, I'd say the axe wielder's responsive scoff was one of affront. But there was no mistaking the underlying challenge.

"Am I?"

If nothing else, the reception was positive, going by the short laugh the general let out.

_Sheesh, it's like she laughs almost as much as Lantz. And that's saying something._

"You know what? If you continue to carry on in this manner, I think I just might end up keeping you! His Majesty, well… let's just say he enjoys strong men, and leave it at that. Yes, I believe you'll make a _grand _souvenir. I'll let you kick and scream if you want, but do try your best not to die. Dead men have no value, after all."

Greil looked to say something to himself, causing the sniper and knight behind him to talk between themselves for a moment, before the commander returned his attention to the confrontation.

"Shinon! Gatrie! I'll distract the woman. You two grab Ike and the others and get out of here, fast!"

Shinon was all for that plan, but Gatrie was a little more worried.

"But, Commander! We can't just leave you with her!"

His douchebag friend elbowed him in the side.

"Idiot! Compared to the Commander, that woman's a chump. All right, come on! Let's go, let's go!"

The thunder-and-lightning duo left the way they came, likely down to the other treasure room.

"Move it! We'll regroup in Gallia!"

Of course, Petrine wasn't too keen on that happening.

"Oh, no, you don't. You'll not escape me, neither you or your little friends. You're a little too juicy of a treat for me to just let you go."

But Ike's father had something else in mind.

"You said your name was Petrine, correct? Listen up. This place right here? This is nowhere near big enough. It might do for warriors of lesser caliber, but the two of us? No. So, I'm going elsewhere. What do you think?"

I could tell she was intrigued, but she didn't give in so easy.

"You're not possibly thinking that I could fall for such a pathetic ruse, are you?"

In light of her resistance, Greil doubled down.

"No. I expect you to accept a challenge from someone who can match you at your best. People like us, we've got more power than the average person. Chances like these are very rare, and between you and me, I'd prefer it if I could flex my muscles without any… distractions getting in the way, so to speak. What about you?"

That seemed to seal the deal for the Branded Rider, who let out a satisfied giggle.

"My, my… you really know how to sweet-talk a girl, don't you? All right, fine. I'm coming."

At her acceptance, the Commander motioned for her to follow him.

"Over here."

But before she left, she had one last order to give.

"All right, Balmer! I'm leaving you in charge here. Do not, under _any_ circumstances, let even _one _of these Crimean vermin escape, understood? If they are not _exterminated _by the time I return… well, I'll let you figure that out for yourself."

The man stealthily gulped before acknowledging.

"Yes, ma'am."

And with that, the two powerhouses were gone. Silence reigned for all of a few seconds, until Ike followed his natural instinct and took charge of the situation.

"Okay, then. Titania, go tell the others to meet up with Shinon. We'll handle things here. No matter what happens, we're all getting out of this in one piece."

The redhead nodded, and ran off, leaving us to deal with the six-strong squad of baddies staring us down. The physical-oriented ones began to advance forward a few seconds after.

"Soren, stay behind us and provide ranged support whenever you see an opening. Andrew, focus on the knight. Mia, take down the swordfighters. I've got the spearman. Go!"

If any of us had wanted to question the future commander's intuition, that chance was gone the moment we clashed.

Even with my dangerous new weapon, I still had a hell of a time getting past the armored bastard's guard. Let me tell you - they may be slow as molasses, but let it never be said that knights are lacking in precision and knowing exactly when and where to strike.

_Well, except for every recruitable knight in Binding Blade._

**+9 EXP**

I took two stabs before finally downing the behemoth.

**+29 EXP**

As he fell, I checked on everyone else while drinking a Vulnerary.

Mia had already owned one Myrmidon, and was now working on the other.

Ike was still battling the soldier, but was a few seconds away from landing the final blow.

Soren launched a blade of wind, killing the remaining swordie just as Ike did so. The only enemies left in the room were the boss sage and the priest. Said sage had a few words to say about the current situation.

"Grrrrh…! You may have bested the vanguard, but you are nothing next to a loyal subordinate of General Petrine! When this is over, you will be naught but cinders on the wind!"

He punctuated his boast with a fireball that was definitely larger than any I had seen before.

"SCATTER!"

We flung ourselves in different directions just in time to escape the worst of the magic-induced vent of flame that erupted when the fireball hit the ground. Not all of us were unscathed, though. My new boss's left arm ended up burned, and so did my right, and I'm pretty sure Mia was singed somewhere. Soren was able to avoid damage on account of staying back a fair distance.

But the fact remained that we weren't dead. And if I had anything to say about it, we were staying that way.

"Mia! Nail the healer! I'll keep this clown busy!"

Gameplay-wise, it was a smart decision. Balmer's total attack power came out to 13, which compared to my 7 resistance, meant I would take only 6 damage from one of his attacks. With my 25 HP, that meant I could survive 4 of his spells and survive with 1 hit point left. His speed was also cut down to 7 because of the weight of his Elfire tome, making me faster than him by a large margin.

In practice, well… no plan survives first contact with the enemy.

Balmer was actually a lot smarter than I thought, judging by his skillful use of the spell to create impassable walls of fire in order to stop me from getting close. I could try simply running through them, since Gamer's Body would prevent me from being crippled until my HP hit zero, but I had no way of telling whether or not the walls would count as more than one hit, and… well, by all rights, charging straight into a firewall would be a surefire death sentence for anyone else, and I didn't really feel like dealing with a "strange outsider" subplot yet.

In light of this, I made to call out to Ike, only to discover that he was already moving to flank the enemy sage. Soren was also attempting to assist, but wasn't really able to do much thanks to his magic trinity disadvantage.

Unfortunately, the Ranger wasn't as stealthy as I hoped, and had another wall of orange-red erected in his path. His cover blown, he simply tried to get as close as he could via brute force.

Lo and behold, it was actually working. It was slow going, but we were steadily inching closer to the now-sweating enemy boss.

And then Mia re-entered the fray.

In an almost picture-perfect repeat of our fight with Gatten, she leapt in and scored a clean slash on our opponent's back, catching him completely off-guard and breaking his concentration. The loss of focus caused the flame barriers to fizzle out, allowing Ike and I to charge unimpeded.

I landed a jumping overhead slash, giving Ike the chance to blast him up into the air with a powerful uppercut.

**+16 EXP**

Seizing the opportunity, I immediately jumped up after the soon-to-be-dead adversary. Once I hit the peak, I saw that Mia had gotten the same idea, and we plunged both our swords into his midsection, bringing him all the way back down to the floor.

**+66 EXP**

**LEVEL UP!**

**Number rolled: 57**

**+5 stat points**

_**FIVE POINTS!**_

That joke will never get old. _Never._

I decided to forego HP this time in favor of Skill. I also swapped out Resistance for Luck.

**Level: 11^ +1**

**HP: 25**

**STR: 13^ +1**

**MAG: 7**

**SKL: 9^ +1**

**SPD: 13^ +1**

**LCK: 10^ +1**

**DEF: 11^ +1**

**RES: 7**

_Okay… if I spare a point for Defense every level from now on, I can still cap it. I can go two levels without a Strength or Speed increase and still cap them. I didn't start with 20 or more HP, so hitting the cap with that is impossible. Luck has a flat cap of at least 30 no matter what you do, so I won't cap that until promotion anyway. And I already missed my chance to cap Skill, Magic, and Resistance before hitting level 20, so I can just pick and choose if I want to ping them whenever I have a spare point._

_Sheesh. Managing the training, equipment, and relationships of entire literal __**armies**_ _wasn't enough, huh? Now I have to take charge of their individual growth paths, is that right? __**Fuck**__, this is gonna give me so many headaches…_

The system ignored my lamentations and told Time to get back on his shift.

As was customary for a boss such as him, Balmer couldn't die without some final words.

"Urgh… ahh… w-wait… G-General Petrine, I…"

Ded. Not beeg soup rais.

Ike breathed out a sigh of relief.

"Whew… good job, you two. I'd say you're already earning your pay."

Mia thought so, too.

"Yep-yep! I don't mean to brag, but I'd say hiring us was one of your best decisions yet!"

I saw a contradiction in that testimony, and objected on it.

"Uh… Mia, you _do _remember that you pretty much hired yourself, right? Ike never asked us to join, but we did anyway."

"Huh…? Oh, yeah, yeah! Right! Heh… heh-heh… we did, didn't we?"

Thankfully, the awkward mood was blown away by the return of Titania and the rest of the mercenaries.

"Ike! We're here!"

He glanced towards the forms of everyone in the company save for the Commander himself.

Rhys was treating a wound on Boyd, and Oscar looked a little scraped up, but they were otherwise okay. Shinon, Gatrie, and Titania were all free of injuries, as expected of them.

"Thanks, Titania. Now we just have to find my father, and we can bid this blasted place goodbye."

_**A short time later…**_

We made it to the wide open room just in time to catch the tail end of the battle. Greil and Petrine were really going at it. I couldn't really tell who had the upper hand without relying on foreknowledge, and judging by his next words, neither could Ike.

"Titania! Is my father…"

"Don't worry, Ike. It's not obvious, but the Commander is the better fighter in this match-up. He'll be fine. For the time being, just stay back and watch him work."

Their end of their conversation preceded a heavy blow from Greil by a few seconds, forcing Petrine to retreat a few steps.

"Dog's breath! Who in the nine hells are you, man?! You look like a common sellsword, but you fight like a demon!"

"Having a little trouble, are we? Ready to surrender?"

She almost looked insulted at the Commander's statement.

"Me? Admit defeat? Don't be absurd…"

Of course, Murphy decided this was a perfect opportunity to invoke his infamous law.

"Here they are! Over here!"

A squad of soldiers backed up by a few archers appeared from the doorway behind Petrine. Ike obviously wasn't happy about that.

"Blast… enemy reinforcements. Father! We need to leave! There's too many-"

He was cut off when Greil backed up to right in front of him.

"Hm… looks like I don't have a choice."

Weirdly enough, the ex-general didn't really look too inconvenienced for someone who just lost a duel to outside interference. Though I could guess that he was satisfied by the fact that he knew he would've won anyway.

And then more troops arrived. From the left, right, and even behind us. I was left scratching my head over how they'd followed us that fast.

The enemy general in front of us found this situation to be a major confidence (and ego) booster. Enough to elicit _another _laugh.

"So now the tide has been turned, hasn't it?"

She motioned to the soldiers, who raised their weapons at us, and then did so herself.

Even with practically no hope of survival, Greil still wore that impassive poker face.

"Well… I'd say our luck's run out."

"Father…!"

The son seemed pretty close to losing it, but it was plain to see that he was trying his best not to let the hopelessness of our predicament get to him, and was actually doing a pretty good job of it, too.

But he could always use reassurance, and Greil gave that to him via a hand on his shoulder.

"Stay calm, Ike. You're going to get through this. I'm not letting you die here, not when you have so much left to do. Are you ready?"

"...yeah. Yeah, I am. Let's do this, Commander!"

"That's what I like to hear, pup."

By this point, I'd say Petrine had quite enough of our disgusting sentimentality.

"You won't escape your fate this time. There's nowhere left for you to run or hide. Curse whatever gods you worship, for they have abandoned you in your time of need! All troops, attack! Kill them! KILL THEM ALL!"

Or, that's what _would _have happened…

_**GROAAAAR!**_

...if it wasn't for our four-footed friends.

Of course, having no prior experience with their kind, Ike was completely stumped on what the hell that noise was.

"What was that?"

He didn't have to wait long for an answer.

"B-b-beasts! Gallian beast soldiers!"

"R-r-run! We're going to be torn to shreds!"

Some of the soldiers began to take fearful steps backwards, but were briefly stopped by a glare from their general.

"Hold your ground, all of you! Do! Not! Panic! The first man to turn his back on the enemy will be spit-roasted on my lance and served as tomorrow's dinner!"

_Jesus fucking Christ… I don't remember her insult being __**that **__graphic in the vanilla game…_

Par for the course, she underestimated Daein racial fear.

"Nooooo!"

"I didn't sign up to fight sub-human warriors! Screw this, I'm outta here!"

I had to suppress a laugh at that last one.

"Pfeh. Worthless cowards, each and every one."

Then some who had left re-entered the room. Without their weapons.

"B-b-beasts!"

They were followed by a blue cat, an orange cat, and a blue tiger, along with other more generic-looking cats and tigers.

I couldn't stop my amazement from leaking into my expression when I witnessed my first laguz shift. Seriously, props to the FMVs for doing their best to capture the look and feel of it, but I think I can safely say that it's no match for the real thing.

(Though that didn't stop me from still trying to figure out the whole clothes deal. One day, I swear, I _will_ figure out the mechanics behind that stupid little badass hat.)

"Attention, all Daein soldiers! The Gallian military requests that you leave this place at once! Be warned, as failure to comply immediately will result in a forced eviction from the premises!"

_Make up your mind, Ranulf. Are you a soldier, a police officer, or a bouncer?_

If I were Petrine at that moment, I'd probably be getting kinda tired and more than a little pissed off from being cockblocked so many times in one day.

(Or, well, I suppose "blood-blocked" would be a better term. Or not, that still doesn't really fit. Slaughter-blocked? Kill-blocked? Ehh, whatever.)

"Oh, please, threaten me to your heart's content. It won't make a difference. His Majesty doesn't take kindly to those who run from the face of battle. If I'm to die, I'll at least drag you all down to hell with me."

She was undoubtedly determined to do it, too… until _he _showed up.

"Withdraw, General Petrine."

Her head snapped over in the new arrival's direction faster than you could say "whipped."

"The Black Knight…"

_Is it just me, or did the tension in the room just increase by a factor of Karel's growth rates?_

There was almost no way to describe the hulking mass of black armor that nonchalantly walked into the standoff that would seem even remotely fitting of him. That wouldn't stop me from trying anyway, but the nigh-god still had something to say.

"You will have nothing to fear from your king. I shall provide an explanation for your failure here. Take your men and go."

Being shut down by the most powerful of the Four Riders was the final nail in the coffin for her.

"Tch… fine. All troops, fall back!"

If I didn't know better, I'd say that she was moving slightly faster than before.

Now… how do I go about explaining the Black Knight's sheer presence? Well…

I suppose I could equate it to the feeling you get when your boss suddenly walks into the room you're in, completely unannounced. That instinctive feeling of "oh, shit" that you get whenever someone that you know is unquestionably your superior in every way, shape, and form imaginable turns his attention to you without warning.

Only in this case, dial it up to eleven, then cube it.

And even then, that was only a _fraction_ of what I felt when he turned his gaze on Greil. Think about that - I wasn't even the actual target, and yet, beneath Gamer's Mind's infallible mask of calm indifference, I was _still _shaking like a leaf in a hurricane.

I think it's safe to say that if nothing else, I at least now had an inkling of what true fear felt like. I'm sure everyone else behind me felt the same way.

Except for Greil.

"Hm?"

Ike was… well, either he wasn't feeling the pressure as much, or he was doing a really good job of hiding it. I suspected that he was wary, but not as much as he would be if he knew what the man in black was truly capable of.

"He's staring at you... isn't he, father?"

"Yeah. He is."

A few more seconds of unbelievably tense silence followed.

Then Ranulf hit his breaking point.

"Hey! If you're not thinking of taking us all on by yourself, then I suggest you leave!"

The Black Knight almost seemed to not even register his comment, simply sweeping his gaze over the room again. When he was finished, he turned around and slowly walked back the way he came.

Once he left, Greil adopted a sort of thinking posture, causing Ike to look at him curiously.

"Father?"

But he said nothing, and began to walk off. We followed after him.

* * *

While the main characters were off having their happy reunion, I was spending some more quality time with my partner.

"Whoof. What a rush that was."

"Yep. So I guess you're a real mercenary now."

Even though I had already spent a considerable amount of time in this universe, it still sometimes felt unreal. Like I was having an incredibly detailed lucid dream.

"Heh. I suppose I am. But in my eyes, I've still got a bit of a ways to go before I can stand next to you."

It seemed like that statement took her off guard.

"You're kidding me, right? What happened to all that talk of 'my sword-arm's got more power behind it' that you were spouting way back when?"

I raised a hand.

"Not what I meant. What I mean is that I'm still pretty inexperienced. You've already been a mercenary for a while now, and I can tell you've traveled around a lot. You've been places, and all I've really done before all this is study magic forbidden by law while cooped up in a city. Point is, I've still got a lot to learn about the world and how it works. And you better be damned sure that I'll make the most of this chance."

She brought up a fist, and got pumped up.

"That's what I like to hear, partner! The same goes for me, too. I'm still not as fast as I could be, or as strong, or as hardy. So I'm gonna keep training, until I can become the best I can possibly be!"

"That's the spirit."

I pulled out my Iron Sword and brandished it diagonally forward.

"To the fulfillment of our dreams."

Mia did the same, crossing hers with mine.

"To our dedication to improvement."

We chorused the last line simultaneously.

"To our partnership."

I didn't know what my presence would change here in this world. For all I knew, I could have caused its end. Or I could have caused a miracle to occur.

But one thing was for sure.

Through heaven or hell, we'd get through it. Together.

* * *

**A/N: Holy wow, this is a monster. Eleven thousand, eight hundred and seventy words, not counting this author's note. I debated with myself over splitting it up, but eventually decided against it. After all, I promised you guys that we'd meet the main characters next chapter, and breaking it up would have broken that promise.**

**So how about them characters, eh? Soren was actually pretty easy to put down, which makes sense given my personality. Most of the dialogue that occurs during scenes with Petrine is ripped from this chapter's original script, but slightly rewritten so as to not seem copy-pasted. Editing those lines was pretty fun, especially when I was coming up for threats for Miss Ramsey. I'm kinda in the middle with Ike and everyone else, so tell me how you think I did on properly capturing them.**

**We also have the first appearance of mister "Just A Flesh Wound" himself. Like Andrew said, I don't think I can properly come up with description that does him justice. I'm sure there's someone out there who can, but for now, I'll have to settle for what I gave.**

**The oath at the end was actually a spur-of-the-moment decision since I wanted to end off the chapter, but couldn't do it in a way that felt natural without extending it to the following Wham Episode cutscene. Thus, I had our MC and his bestie reinforce their bond together. I'm still unsure on whether or not that's appropriate given how they haven't known each other for a month yet, but I've heard going through conflicts while relying on each other strengthens the ties between two people, so I dunno. I'd like to know your opinion on that.**

**Anyway, that's all for now. Tune in next time for a hell of a curb-stomping by you-know-who!**

**[TRANSMISSION ENDED]**


	7. It's Only A Flesh Wound

A few days later found us arriving at Gebal Castle.

When we actually got there, however, I seriously began to wonder how the denizens of Tellius defined which structures did and didn't receive the mantle of 'castle.' Because whatever I was looking at… was _not _a castle, at least by Earth standards.

If anything, it was a fort. Lots of walls with no roofs, a single center building, entrances on all four sides… actually pretty defensible, if you had enough manpower to plug up all four choke-points. And even then, there were still choke-points inside the walls at various locations. Credit where it was due - if nothing else, the minds behind this place's design knew what they were doing in the defense department.

Which I knew for a fact would come in handy _very _soon, if you know what I'm talking about. Defense chapters, ho!

...egh, that sounded terrible. Note to self: you're not British. Never say that again.

Anyway, though, that came later. Now, it was time to enjoy the little reprieve we had until shit hit the fan again.

Against nearly every single instinct that remained from my previous life, I decided that the best use of my time was getting to know the other Greil Mercenaries better.

Thus, I began wandering the halls.

My first run-in was with the resident archer-in-training.

_Good growths, shitty bases and class, __**horrible **__join time level. Bad Unit._

I promptly mentally slapped myself for subscribing to that way of thinking.

_No, what the hell am I doing?! This isn't a game, this is real life, despite everything suggesting otherwise!_

That argument ended up crumbling in the face of a little scrutiny, though.

_The world around me doesn't run on numbers… except it kinda does now, thanks to me… ouch. Sorry, Rolf. Guess you'll never stop being a Bad Unit. At least in Path of Radiance. But even then, you're ridiculously overshadowed by Shinon in a few years… oof. RIP ROFL, drowned in the pit of shit. Press F to pay respects._

Of course, that wouldn't stop me from liking him as a character.

He was actually walking along in somewhat of a hurry, slightly hunched over, head down, and occasionally glancing in various different directions. Like he was trying to hide something - terribly, at that. If one knew his relationship with Shinon, it was easy to guess where he was heading.

"Heya, kid. Where you running off to?"

He jumped a little, and let out a choked "Ah-!" and snapped his gaze to me. When he realized who I was, he relaxed a bit.

"O-oh, Andrew, hello! I-I, uh… I w-was just doing some… uh, some… exploring! Y-yeah, exploring! This castle's kinda big…"

With a response like that, it would take being both blind and deaf to believe what he said was the truth. My eyelids lowered themselves into an 'unimpressed' expression.

"Uh-huh. You're 'exploring' right next to the kitchen. Nothing suspicious about that. Nope. Not at all."

Red slowly appeared on his face at being caught so easily.

"Uhh-uhmm…"

He clammed up, stuttering filler. I sighed.

"Man, you _reeeally _need to work on those deception skills. Seriously, the only way that lie could have been more blatant would be if your pants were on fire while you said it."

The rate at which the blush appeared began to intensify. More clipped gibberish fell out of his mouth.

"Heck, dude, you even admitted to it instead of doubling down. I suppose it's a good thing you don't have a roguish bone in your body, otherwise you'd probably be dead several times over by this point in your life."

He finally regained enough control over his oral muscles to force out a coherent reply.

"I-I-I'm s-sorry…"

I decided to throw the twelve-year-old (Jesus friggin' _Christ_, that makes his lack of usefulness seem so logical) a bone.

"No, no, it's fine, I get it. If you want to try and nick a snack, go right ahead - I'm no stranger to raiding the cupboards, myself. Just don't blame me if Oscar or someone walks in and busts your butt for trying to spoil your appetite."

I walked past him, but couldn't resist shooting off a wink as I did so.

"Happy munchies, kiddo. See ya."

He was left staring at my retreating form, before returning to his earlier activities.

_Meh, then again, maybe he deserves some Bonus Experience. Or not. A bunch of other, better units could make much more use of it… hmmf. I'll burn that bridge when I get to it._

I filed the thought into the "later" cabinet and forgot about it for the moment, continuing on my merry way.

A minute or so later, I encountered the other child in the entourage.

_Besthealerinthegamesayshi._

"Hi, Andrew!"

_Bam. Sorry, Rhys. Come back when you get a mount, and we'll talk. Oh, wait - __**you can't**__. Case closed, AIDS boy. No offense to anyone who has that disease and who might be listening, of course. Keep fightin', y'all._

She was lightly jogging down the hall in the opposite direction, and briefly slowed down.

"Hey, Mist. What's got you up and moving around?"

It was one of those 'leisured hurry' jogs - you know, the kind you do when you want to get something done soon, but not _that _soon, and decide to move sort-of quickly, but not full-on run because it doesn't warrant that much rush. Was that confusing? Whatever.

"I'm looking for Rolf. Have you seen him?"

I pointed behind me with my thumb.

"Yeah, 'bout a minute ago. Back that way, next to the kitchen. He was in a bit of a hurry. Don't know where he was going, though. Why?"

Ike's sister began to pick up her pace.

"We were going to make some flower crowns to celebrate the successful mission. It's just not the same if I'm the only one doing it. Thanks! Bye!"

She waved as she scurried off. I reciprocated the action, but only with my forearm as opposed to my entire arm, like she was doing.

"Good luck!"

I turned forward again after she rounded the corner.

_All right, then. Marking down Mist as a member of the 'protecc' list… and done._

A few more minutes, and I passed a room containing two dunderheads.

"Shinon, I'm serious! Did you see that one cat-gal that was with the leader? Whew…!"

I stopped, and reversed my steps to just out of sight of the doorway. Then my brain registered the words "cat gal."

_Oh, no. Should I leave?_

"I can_not _believe you. Am I drunk? I should be, if I'm hearing you spout this kind of filth."

_Eh, unless you found a way to sneak some beers in while we were traveling, or found a secret stash, I'd say no._

"But Shinooon…!"

_My god, he's like a kid. How the hell does mister "fuck everything except Rolf and Greil" put up with him?_

"Gatrie, please, for the love of all that is still holy in this world, shut your mouth. Nobody wants to hear that garbage."

_Ouch, bro. The 'shut up' I can understand, but the 'garbage' part was a little far._

"Aww, c'mon, buddy! Can't you just encourage me for once?"

_I get that 'vitriolic best buds' is a trope and all, but I still don't see how these two work. Deleted dialogue detailing their past, maybe?_

"I'll encourage you when you need it. Which is exclusively on the battlefield, and nowhere else. Speaking of which, I'm off. Can't let my bowstrings go slack."

_Oh, shit! Protag-kun exit, stage left!_

I started to stalk my way off, but was caught by a certain ponytailed redhead.

"And just what do you think _you're _doing, huh?"

_Fuuuuuuck…_

Letting out a sigh that I hoped he didn't notice, I twisted to face the group's archery expert.

"Nothing, really. Just wandering around the place, going nowhere in particular. Why do you wanna know?"

He obviously took that with more than a few grains of salt. Scratch that, he took it with the entire freakin' shaker.

"Is that right? Then why do I get the feeling that I just caught you in the middle of something? You wouldn't happen to have been… say, eavesdropping on the side, would you?"

Ladies and gentlemen, Sir Sarcas-non I.

_Well, then. Let's see how he reacts to a little blunt force._

"Yeah, actually. I happened to pass by when I heard a bit of banter floating out from behind that door, and I couldn't resist a little listen. I have to say, I'm surprised you two are paired up so much. Seems to me like you can't stand one another."

I saw his expression shift slightly at my honesty, but he recovered impressively fast.

"Our personal relationship has nothing to do with our relationship in combat. A wall that chases every skirt he catches sight of is still a wall."

_Ah-ha! An opening!_

"So does that mean you don't have any problems fighting with laguz?"

_...__**why the hell did I say that?!**_

His face darkened immediately. When he retorted, it was plain to see that he was doing so through clenched teeth and barely contained rage.

"...you are _very, __**very **_lucky that the Commander's forbidden me from feathering my fellow mercenaries, and that I have somewhere to be. Otherwise, I'd turn you into a well-used pincushion in the time it takes for you to _blink._"

I backed off pretty quickly after that, lifting up my hands in the universal gesture of placatement.

"Whoa-ho, alright, jeez, message received. I'll stay outta your way. Go ahead."

That calmed him down, if only slightly. But it appeared to be enough to suppress his urge to shove his quiver up my ass.

"Yeah, you'd better. Gods-damned teenagers…"

He let out an angry grunt, then turned on his heel and strode away, muttering unpleasant things about 'newbies' and 'respect' before he turned a corner and left my range of hearing.

"Man, what an arrogant douchebag. There's someone who seriously needs to learn some humility… or get humiliated."

The door cracked open again, revealing an apologetic-looking head of auburn hair.

"Eh-heh, sorry about him. He's just… very confident in himself, and doesn't exactly warm up to others quickly."

_Like that totally wasn't obvious._

"Eh, it's fine. I'm not very receptive to people like myself either. But something tells me that karma's marked him for death. Methinks he'll be getting his comeuppance at some point in the future."

Blue eyes glanced in the direction Shinon had disappeared off to. The face holding them sighed before they flicked back to me.

"...maybe so. Trust me, though, he's not all bad. I just hope Lady Luck won't hit him too hard. I can understand just compensation, but trampling over him and then kicking him while he's down would be a bit too much."

I mulled that over in my head.

"...well, if you say so. I think I'll be leaving now. Be seeing ya."

"Remember to take it easy!"

The head disappeared behind the door and shut it.

_Okay, that's… four out oooof… eleven, that I've talked to now? Not counting Mia, since I've already spent a ton of time with her. Maybe exclude Greil, since he's not a player-controlled unit… or not, since he'll kick the bucket pretty soon. Aaaand now I feel like I'm living that whole 'top ten pictures taken before disaster' meme or something._

I continued to stew in my thoughts while strolling down the corridors.

Eventually, I exited the main building and began wandering through the outside walls of the place. At some point, I started hearing the sounds of training weapons clashing, as well as grunts of exertion. A little farther, and I happened upon a sparring match between Ike and Mia, overseen by Titania, with Boyd on the sidelines and Rhys on standby.

Both combatants looked to be really feeling the burn already. I could spot various marks dotting their skin, denoting locations where they had been hit, as well as their labored breathing and slightly slower than normal movements.

If we went solely by the numbers, either one could end up the victor here. Ike was just shy of the speed threshold to escape being doubled by Mia, but his vitality and defenses would allow him to survive four strikes from Mia and still have a single hit point remaining. He would also easily K.O. her in three hits. So, in a nutshell, it all depended on who initiated which rounds of combat. If Ike attacked first during his turn, and Mia attacked on her turn, Ike would win on the next turn, assuming that no attacks would miss. The opposite was also true - if Mia initiated and Ike didn't skip a turn, she would win.

But, well, that didn't really translate. When they clashed, I ended up seeing a lot of blocking and parrying going on, with only a scant few attacks actually making contact with flesh. It was kinda like watching Path of Radiance's first cutscene, only this match was much more even. It was clear that Mia had the advantage in both speed and skill, but it was also obvious that she was unused to Ike's style of fighting, and his strength gave him a leg up in blade-locks and other split-second contests of muscle power.

Eventually, though, Ike's greater endurance ended up giving him the victory. He did so by intentionally letting an attack from Mia get through his guard and strike him so he could charge in and deliver a decisive blow that knocked her to the ground. When she hit the deck, he moved up and pointed his stick at her throat.

Mia answered the unvoiced question with a conceding "I yield."

Immediately after verifying his win, Ike staggered back a few steps and took a knee to recuperate while Rhys made his way over to them.

"Good… good match…"

Mia sluggishly rolled onto her chest and began to push herself up.

"Yeah… hahhh… nice one… wasn't… expecting you… hahhh… to charge in… like that…"

Titania smiled at the both of them.

"Great job, you two. I didn't catch any glaring errors. Go rest and heal up for a moment."

They heeded her advice, staggering off to go get treated. With that taken care of, she turned her attention to me.

"Hello, Andrew. What brings you here?"

I turned my gaze around, taking in the entirety of the location.

"I heard a couple people making some noise and decided to see what all the fuss was about. Sparring sessions, huh?"

She nodded.

"That's right. Would you feel up for a round or two?"

I thought about it, and decided it couldn't hurt… too much.

"Sure, I'm game. As long as it's not against you, though. I'd say it's obvious why you're the deputy commander around here - I'm pretty sure that even right now, you could beat my ass into the ground without breaking a sweat."

She let out a light laugh.

"All right, then. How would you feel about going up against Boyd here instead?"

At the mention of his name, Boyd walked up to us.

I studied him for a moment, then accepted.

"Okay. Seems like a pretty good match-up. If you're okay with that?"

Boyd confidently folded his arms.

"Heh! So, the new guy wants to try me, eh? Well, I guess I could use a little warm-up before me and Ike go at it. Let's do this!"

We grabbed a set of trainer weapons, entered the ring, and squared up.

On Titania's mark, the fight was on.

"Begin!"

This was my second time going up against a competent axe wielder, after Gatten. Boyd, as expected of a player unit, was certainly no slouch. All those practice swings must have paid off, because there was no contest between which of us was stronger. The design of the axe-shaped hunk of wood also gave him better blocking coverage to make up for his lack of defenses. He was decently skilled and could be fairly quick when he needed to be.

However, just like with Mia and Ike, the difference gap between our dexterity and agility was very noticeable, especially considering that I had the weapon triangle on my side. My lighter stick was easier and less clunky to move than Boyd's weapon, allowing me to more easily maneuver the Trainer around and strike at his openings. His total HP pool may have had mine beat by a good chunk, but I countered that with my better defenses and ability to dodge.

We fought for what seemed to be several minutes, but was actually more like two. Ike and Mia had recovered by this point, and came to watch our battle. The match ended when I somehow managed to deflect a blow in a way that disrupted Boyd's balance, and capitalized on that with a strike that sent him toppling to the floor. Copying Ike's movements earlier, I moved up and directed my stick towards his neck. When he realized the jig was up, he sighed and admitted defeat.

Titania called my victory, and gave her verdict.

"Good technique there, Andrew. See if you can't refine that into something you can do consistently. Boyd, we're going to need to work a little more on quick movements with your axe. I think a few extra _practice swings _are in order."

Exhausted as I was, I missed the small smirk she developed when she said the words "practice swings," but I did catch her slightly sadistic inflection. Boyd just moaned pathetically from his spot on the ground.

I stumbled over to Mia, wheezing out "carry me, please" as I collapsed on her. Being the genki girl she was, she took it in stride and supported me back to a standing position, helping me along to go get treated by Rhys. Ike went over to go peel Boyd off the floor.

We made it to a nearby rest area, decked out with a few benches and cots. I was set down on a bench, where Rhys got to work straightaway. I decided to ask Mia something that popped into my head.

"So, what's your score with everyone you've sparred with?"

She thought for a moment, and then responded.

"Against Ike, that last match tied it 2 - 2. For Boyd, it's 2 - 1, my favor. Oscar's leading with 1 - 2. Shinon doesn't want anything to do with me, and he uses bows anyway so it wouldn't really work out. I haven't gotten to fight Gatrie yet, and I already know that the big boss and deputy commander are outta my league."

I blinked while I processed that.

"You mean you've already had _ten _sparring matches in the space of a few days? Dear gods… I swear, it's like you're addicted to adrenaline or something."

She giggled and sheepishly rubbed the back of her head.

"Well, what can I say? I just really enjoy testing my skills against good opponents! Great fight, by the way. That deflection was awesome!"

I tried to wave that off.

"Ahh, that was more a stroke of luck than anything else. Honestly, I thought that was gonna be it for me."

She was having none of that shit, though.

"But it wasn't. And if you can do it once, then like Titania said, you can do it again. You just have to keep practicing, and keep sparring. Heck, I'll help you out if you want!"

I was once again taken aback at how much she was willing to do, even though I really shouldn't have been at this point. I let my head fall and sighed.

"Honestly, what did I ever do to deserve someone like you? You're too good for me, Mia."

She just wrapped her arm around my neck and pulled me into a one-armed hug, a blinding smile on her face.

"That's just what friends are for, partner! They help each other out!"

I chuckled, and reciprocated the action.

"Heh. I suppose that's true. Alright then, Mia. What say we start working on that tomorrow?"

She shot me a wink and a thumbs-up with her free hand.

"You betcha! I'll be there!"

At that moment, Rhys finished up.

"Okay, that seems to be everything. I have to say, Andrew, you must be very hardy - I barely saw any evidence of bruising. I can see you won't have much trouble surviving if you can take a hit from Boyd with almost nothing to show for it. In any case, you're good to go."

I checked for myself, and found my body back in peak condition.

"Thanks, Rhys. But even the sturdiest of rocks can eventually break. When that happens, I hope I'll know where to find you."

He let out a soft laugh as I got up.

"Well, if that does happen, I'll be sure to come running. As long as I'm not down with something or other, that is."

_...reminder, stop mentally treating the priest like trash. He's the one with the heal staff, not you._

"I wouldn't worry about that too much. A little cold never stopped me from going to class."

With that, I left, Mia at my side.

I ended up killing some more time at the training grounds upon my return. I won and lost one time each to Ike. I beat Mia once more, bringing our score to 7 - 6, her favor (_ha ha, catching up!_), and then squared off against Oscar when he showed up a little later. The weapon triangle ended up being my downfall, as he was fast enough to keep himself out of my effective range while freely punishing me for my attempted approaches, giving him a clear win and kicking off our score with a 1 - 0 lead. But it wasn't just myself I was paying attention to - whenever I wasn't in the ring, I was watching two other combatants duke it out. It was pretty amazing to watch Mia pull off a win against the resident lance cav by pretty much abusing the difference in speed between them, consistently getting up in his face and preventing him from using his weapon to properly strike back. Though, it's worth mentioning that in order to do that in the first place, she had to break past Oscar's well-built outside guard, which gave her a lot of trouble until she found a way to slip inside.

Once all was said and done, I walked away from the makeshift training field feeling pretty satisfied. After all, that wasn't just any regular old training. Throughout the time I spent there, I had been subtly pumping Bonus Experience into all the participants, granting them a scant few extra points here and there. Well, not really, but it was a start towards eventual statistical improvements, and I was content with at least that.

Wandering back inside the building, I eventually found the library by chance. I stepped inside, eager to see what kind of literature this world offered, as I was an avid literary enthusiast back in my last life. Hell, even my old middle name was 'Reader,' if you can believe it. And when I entered…

_Huh, so that's why he wasn't hanging off of Ike._

I saw a grumpy, dark-garbed mage at a table, poring over what appeared to be some maps and a couple of tomes.

He briefly looked up at the sound of my entrance, deemed it as irrelevant to his current pursuits, and went right back to whatever it was he was doing.

I considered checking what he was looking at for a short minute, but decided against it.

_Whatever it is, it's likely something beyond my range of understanding. And knowing Soren, he'd probably try to roast me for it. I don't feel like dealing with him at the moment, so I'll just stay out of his business for now._

Turning away from the Greil Mercenaries' chief strategist, I meandered over to one of the many shelves that filled the room.

At first, I was concerned about being unable to read the written language of Tellius, but that was discarded upon finding out that I somehow instinctively translated every word I read into English. My red-haired guide had the following to say about that.

**-{ Anna }-**

**I see you've discovered the Babelfish program!**

**As you can probably already tell, this nifty little quality-of-life feature instantly translates anything you read or hear into the language you understand the most - in this case, ye olde English.**

**Word of advice, though - when you come into contact with rare old tomes, it might be in your best interests to read them in private, or at least out of sight of any mages.**

**After all, with this, you'll never know if it's actually some long-dead scripture that powerful sorcerers have been dying to understand and would be willing to capture and torture you for it.**

**Just a thought. Anyway, happy reading!**

While the warning did spook me a little, it was outweighed by a detail I determined.

_So, wait… it translates everything, right? Then that means… yes! I can finally understand Leanne without resorting to a guide! Man, that's gonna save so much trouble!_

But I decided to celebrate later. Now, it was time to relax and enjoy a good book.

_Heh. Now there's a statement you'd hardly ever hear back in 21st-century Earth._

* * *

I felt compelled to check my system's built-in watch, and found that I'd been reading well into the evening. Looking out the window, I saw that the sun was inching closer and closer to the horizon, casting the typical afternoon color over Gebal Castle.

Concluding that I'd done enough reading for today, I closed the book and placed it back on the shelf where I had found it. Once everything was in order, I made to leave the room. I surveyed the library as I did so, and saw that Soren was still sitting in that same spot, doing the same thing. I had occasionally seen him get up to go grab other hard-backed books to study, for reasons I assumed to be related to tactics. Idly glancing at the stack he had collected so far, I saw that I was pretty much correct, as most of the titles mentioned strategy in some way.

However, the ones that weren't… well, I'll just say that they were related to _other _pursuits and let your imagination do the rest. After witnessing some of those works, my pace quickened ever so slightly.

_Some of those reads make an uncomfortable amount of sense… I think it might be best if I kept this to myself._

I exited into the hallway soon after, picked whether to go left or right at random, and began walking down the hallway.

A few twists and turns later, I strolled past a halfway-open door and caught a glimpse of a blob of orange-yellow and brown. Stopping, I looked back, and slowly approached the crack. When I got close enough, the blob revealed itself to be Greil, sitting slightly hunched over on a chair at a desk with his hands clasped together an inch away from his chin. He looked to be lost in thought, casting a vacant stare on a framed picture. A bit of scrutiny revealed it to be a painting, featuring him, a blue-haired woman who I recognized as his late wife Elena, and two kids who could only be young Ike and Mist.

It hit me right then, what this was. Tonight would undoubtedly be the night that he would shove off this mortal coil. Greil likely knew that as soon as he realized that the Black Knight had been staring at him exclusively back at Fort Meritenne, issuing an unspoken challenge that he had no chance of refusing. What I saw right now was a man looking at everything he had and did have, and remembering happier times, when he could just be himself. Not Gawain, the Great Rider of Daein. Not Greil, the Commander of the Greil Mercenaries. Just Greil, loving husband and father of two children. A time when he could forget about all that he had done, everyone he had killed, and live out his days in peace.

But he also knew that he'd never truly be able to escape from the battlefield. And he was given all the proof he'd even need of that on the day he touched Lehran's Medallion. The day that almost everything he'd worked to build up was completely wiped out entirely on accident - by his own hand, to add insult to injury.

This request from Daein's most powerful Rider was just the final nail in the coffin for Greil. Now, all he could do was count down his remaining hours until he finally, after spending so many years in the valley of death, bit the dust himself.

"You don't have to just stand there, you know."

His sudden acknowledgement of my presence made me jump just a tiny bit. He followed it by twisting himself around to look at me.

"If you have something to say, then come on in and say it. Waiting to do so only wastes everyone's time."

I allowed a light blush to appear on my face.

"Well, I… you looked like you… I didn't want to ruin the moment."

He let a small smile appear, turning back to the painting.

"Your concern is very much appreciated, but you don't have to worry about me. As Commander, that task should naturally fall within my workload, not my subordinates'. If anything, I should be worried about making you feel unwelcome."

He called me with his hand.

"Well? Come on. Get in here."

I knew that he was bringing me in to coax me into saying something he believed I was holding back. I had no such thing, of course, but it was a little hard not to let my lack of a real spine get the better of me, so I did as he asked. I found another chair to sit in, and faced Ike's father.

A short silence passed before I found something resembling a conversation starter.

"So, uh… I can see you in that picture, and I can guess that the two kids are Ike and Mist… which should make that woman your wife, right?"

"Yeah. She was…"

I paused, as was customary for this kind of talk.

"Was…? Is she…?"

He nodded slightly, in a forlorn manner.

"...yeah. She is."

Another pause.

"...what was she like?"

His gaze tilted upward a little.

"She was… well, I suppose the best way to describe her would be to say that she was the fairest woman I'd ever met. She was also one of the kindest, and the most levelheaded. Though, that was thanks to her profession more than anything else. She dealt out scoldings as much as she did niceties. If she felt she needed to right a wrong, she would do it without hesitation. With her, it was all about balance. She'd always say that she needed to do as much good as she could, to even out all the evils in the world, whether it be through healing wounds or healing hearts. I admired that spirit greatly."

_Wow… she sounds like a real healer. I can't help but wonder how she and Greil first met._

"When we were married… neither of us could really believe that we had done it. I'll never forget the look on her face when the priest pronounced us husband and wife. I still swear to this day that she looked like Ashera herself. But that was nothing compared to her expression when we had Ike and Mist. I can almost see it now…"

He trailed off.

"...she sounds incredible."

"She really was. And then… I realized that no matter what I did, my past would always catch up to me in time. I found that out on the day she died, because of a careless mistake that I had made."

_I wonder if they ever went into detail on how Greil actually ended up touching Lehran's Medallion in the first place. I'd say it's a fifty-fifty chance that the contact was unintentional._

Greil suddenly turned to me.

"Andrew, if there's something you need to know, it's this. At some point, a time will come when you will have to step up. When, or to what, I don't know. But it will happen, maybe even more than once. And I want you to know… when that time comes, don't try to shy away from what needs to be done. If you do, you let down yourself and everyone who may be counting on you to go forth and be a man, and you may cause something even worse to happen later down the line. No matter what, you need to avoid that at all costs. You don't need to be fearless, or brave, or even believe in what you're doing, just as long as you _do it._"

As I let those words of wisdom sink in, I heard the somewhat distant sound of a bell ringing. The noise attracted Greil's attention as well.

"Hm. Seems Oscar's finally finished up with dinner. We'd better head over to the dining room - it never pays to miss a meal."

He got up from his seat and made for the door. I followed close behind.

"Yeah. I'm coming."

* * *

I retired to bed with a very pleased belly. It was one thing to learn about Oscar's prowess in the kitchen through lines of dialogue, but it was another thing entirely to actually experience it.

I suspected that it was helped by the fact that the laguz had restocked the larder recently with quality ingredients ripe for the cooking. An amazing chef Oscar was, but even he could only do so much with the traveling ingredients we were forced to use for our journey on foot. Now that he wasn't restricted to one-star food, he could really go all-out. And the results were amazing.

In any case, now mostly everyone was asleep. There wasn't enough room for all of us to get a separate room, so most of us ended up bunking with someone else. If I remember correctly, the arrangements were me and Mia, Ike and Soren, Mist and Rolf, Oscar and Boyd, Shinon and Gatrie, and to round it all off nicely and evenly, Greil and Titania.

Or, well, right now, Titania and Soren were alone. Three guesses as to why, and the first two don't count.

Through some ridiculous stroke of fortune, I had managed to get the room with a window that provided a perfect vantage point to spy on Greil and Ike with. Since I didn't need to sleep (and because I had nothing better to do), I could keep an infinite watch without fear of missing them.

Sure enough, I eventually saw the father and son meet up a fair distance away from the entrance. True to canon, they argued a bit, then began to walk away together. A few minutes later, Ike alone came back into view. He approached the entrance hesitantly, stopped for a few moments, then turned and began running back the way he came.

Thus, my big dilemma came to the forefront. Did I stay behind, and let canon take charge? Or did I rush to Ike's side, and possibly die at the hands of the Black Knight for no real reason?

I found myself leaning towards staying behind, but…

"_Don't try to shy away from what needs to be done.'_

_Ehh… is it really my place to interfere, though? This should just be between the Greil family and their hunter…_

"_...you may even cause something worse to happen later down the line."_

_Arghh…_

"_You don't need to be fearless, or brave, or even believe in what you're doing, just as long as you __**do it**__."_

"...damn it, Greil."

I rushed for the door.

* * *

I pumped my legs as fast as I could, sprinting full tilt in the direction I had seen Ike disappear off to. Despite what my mind was saying, my body was dead-set on its current course of action.

_This is a stupid idea… this is a stupid idea…_

"Fucking Yune… why'd you have to pick _me, _of all people? Chaotic Neutral piece of shit…"

I put all my focus into bringing out the full effect of every one of my 13 points of Speed. Soon, I began to hear the familiar noises of metal clashing against metal.

I arrived at the clearing during a break in the fighting. Ike turned towards me in surprise, undoubtedly having heard my approach.

"Andrew?! Why are you-"

I cut him off, already knowing the coming question.

"Couldn't sleep, saw you run off into the forest while I was looking out the window and thought something might be wrong. That said, Ike, you mind telling me just what the hell's going on here?"

His attention snapped back towards the battleground.

"I have no idea… father told me to go back to the castle and leave him alone for a bit, but I got worried and followed him here. And now he's…"

He trailed off.

I thought it might be prudent to play my chosen part of ignorant native.

"Hey, wait. That guy, in the armor… wasn't he the same one that made that Petrine woman retreat?"

"Yeah, he is. He actually threw father a sword earlier, but father threw it back and picked up his axe again instead. I couldn't really make out what they said, since father told me to stay away."

Greil chose that moment to charge again, and the two titans resumed their struggle.

"Well, I'd say that's smart. I wouldn't want to get in the middle of a fight against the Commander and someone who can match him… and may actually be better than him."

The ex-rider was clearly on the back foot, the Black Knight not giving him any room to breathe.

And then… it happened.

The red-cloaked swordsman forced Greil's hand into performing a poorly-executed, easily blocked counter, allowing him to briefly send Urvan up above the commander's head. Seizing the opportunity, the Black Knight took a stance… and thrust his blade forward.

Right into Greil's stomach.

Ike and I were both sent into a short period of shock. Even knowing that this was fated to happen didn't stop my brain from stopping cold to focus on the fact that yes, Ike's father had just been mortally wounded.

The sound of Urvan hitting the ground galvanized us into running towards the two, a second before the sinister general pulled his sword out of Greil's bowels, letting him stagger backwards.

"FATHER!"

"COMMANDER!"

We reached him right before he collapsed, but shaken as we were, even our combined strength wasn't enough to stop him from knocking us all down. We did still manage to get him lying on his back.

"Father! Father!"

_Okay, okay, think! First aid for severe injury… uh… apply pressure to the wound, right? Yeah!_

I began pressing my hands on the gaping slit in his stomach, despite knowing in the back of my head that the effort was futile. That stab had likely punctured at least one major organ, maybe more. Besides, BSA first aid training only amounted to 'stop the bleeding as much as you can and wait for medical professionals to arrive,' which was fine in my old world, but not so much here.

"I… Ike…"

"Hold on!"

I felt the hairs on the back of my neck raise up, and turned to face our antagonist right when he began speaking again.

"Now, then. Will you give me what I've come for?"

Even though he was still in immense pain, Greil still choked out an answer between breaths.

"I... don't… have it… I threw… it away…"

The disguised man didn't believe that for a second.

"Ha. You, the one man who knows better than any what it truly is, threw it away? Surely you still have it in you to craft a lie more plausible than that. I see that you can't even be bothered to try anymore."

Greil mustered up the strength to not break up his next sentence.

"I'm done talking to you."

Looking closely, one could say that the Burger King was amused by this futile struggling.

"So, I simply cannot get my answers, is that it? 'Dead men tell no tales,' or so I have heard. But you, on the other hand… you are not yet a dead man. I wonder… will witnessing the blood of your son spill out onto the ground as the life fades from his eyes… as well as your daughter… she has not yet experienced the full extent of the dark side of the world. If I force her eyes open, and make her see… will that perchance loosen your tongue? I suppose we shall see."

Ike hadn't really been processing his words up until now, but when he brought up Mist, his attention snapped to the enemy so fast I swore I heard his neck almost break.

"_What?_"

He also began to stand up, and made to pull his sword out of its sheath. Greil saw this, and attempted to dissuade him from an exercise in futility.

"Ike, no!"

I pitched in too, grabbing him and struggling against him bodily to stop his advance.

"Ike! Hey! Think about what you're doing, man! Do you really want to face the guy that just trounced your dad?! You know, your _superior officer_?! Don't throw your life away by doing something stupid!"

"Get… off! Rrgh!"

Surprisingly, the baddie agreed.

"Listen to your friend, boy. I cannot promise to stay my blade if you approach me with yours in hand."

He directed his next words at the dying man on the floor.

"Now, give me what I am after. If you do not resist further, I may abstain from harming your children."

I'd be amazed at how much Greil managed not to let his injuries impede his speech, if I wasn't so busy with holding back Ike.

"S-stop… you will not touch my son!"

Suddenly, we were all taken off-guard by a very loud sound.

_**GRROAAAAAAR!**_

The Black Knight obviously knew what that sound entailed, judging by his reaction.

"...hm? The beast king's roar? Such an inconvenience. Do I retreat…?"

Unfortunately for me, Ike recovered from the stillness of surprise just a little faster than I did, letting him gain the upper hand and throw me off. I lost my balance, but stopped myself from hitting the ground using my hands. Free of impediment, Ike drew his Regal Sword and issued a challenge to the black-clad Rider of Daein.

"You're not going _anywhere._"

He, in typical fashion, saw it as nothing more than an annoyance.

"Tell me, is the son as much of an imbecile as the father?"

From my new point of view, I saw Greil actually get to his feet and pick up his axe again… only to quickly lose the needed strength and fall to his knee. The sound of Urvan hitting the ground again drew Ike's attention back to his grievously wounded commander.

"Father!"

Greil raised his head.

"Ike, stop. This is a fight you can't win."

"But…"

It was easy to tell that Greil was starting to get somewhat fed up with his son's rage-fueled idiocy.

"Ike!"

Witnessing the actions, the Black Knight raised his blade again.

"You will not continue? Then I shall finish-"

_**GRROAAAAAAR!**_

Luckily for us, he was cut off by another roar. He lowered his sword hand, conceding the situation.

"...too close. It is not yet his time. Hmph… it seems you get to keep your head today, boy."

He turned his back to us and began walking away. After taking a few steps, he stopped, and lit up our surroundings with a rune circle. The energy it emitted surrounded him, completely obscuring him from view, then shot upward, leaving the circle to fade away. The Black Knight was gone.

Recognizing that the danger was gone, I made my way back to Ike and Greil. I heard a distant crack of thunder while I did so. Raindrops began to fall. Slowly at first, then a downpour.

When I knelt down next to him, the Commander finally seemed to run out of energy, his head drooping and his eyes falling shut. Naturally, this freaked out Ike.

"...father? Father! Hold on!"

Taking another look at the wound, I gave my verdict.

"Ike, we aren't trained for this kind of thing. But Rhys is. C'mon, help me get him up. Back to the castle."

He accepted that without hesitation, lifting up Greil's right side while I took the left, looping his arm around my neck in a textbook human crutch. We stood up, bringing the limp form of the dying ex-rider with us, and began to make our way back to whence we came.

* * *

"Nngh…"

I could understand that sentiment. The two-person drag was best used when the injured patient was conscious, and at the moment, our victim was very much out of it. Which made our efforts that much more difficult. Especially because Greil was really freakin' heavy.

"I-Ike…"

Or, not anymore, at least.

"Father? You're awake!"

At least Ike was pleased. So was I, but to a lesser extent.

"Sheesh, Commander. You gave us quite a scare for a moment there. We thought we'd lost you."

He ignored me in favor of something more important.

"I… there's something you need to know."

His son's priorities were elsewhere, though.

"Save it for when we're back at the castle."

Greil pressed on, undeterred.

"Forget about revenge… leave that knight alone… stay away…"

That caught Ike's attention.

"What? Father…?"

His father was still dead-set on doubling down.

"Stay with the King of Gallia… live here. Live in peace…"

I took over.

"Commander, stop. You're only wasting your breath, and right now, that's something you can't afford to do. The only thing that matters to us is getting you some sorely needed medical assistance."

He ignored me. Again. I was really starting to feel insignificant.

"I need you to take care of everything… the company… your sister…"

It was plain to see that Ike was on the edge of losing it.

"Wait… father, what are you saying?! That's your job, not mine! I couldn't… no, you can't say that. C'mon, the sun will be out soon. You're going to be fine, you hear me?"

Greil didn't respond.

I was still getting accustomed to suddenly being able to have even just a slight bit of empathy for others, but I knew right away that I was really starting to worry.

"Ike…"

He didn't hear me.

"A little longer… stay a little longer…"

We kept our pace, trudging through the mud. Just two teenage boys, completely out of their depth and carrying a burden that they neither wanted nor deserved, and yet were forced to accept.

It never really struck me, just how unfair the world could be sometimes. I had experienced my fair share of it, sure, but never to this magnitude. It really put things into perspective.

_...you know what? Screw it. As soon as I get the chance, I'm punching Yune right in the fucking face, and damn whatever consequences may come. I don't care if she's not directly responsible - __**someone **__has to pay for putting me and everyone else through all this, so it might as well be the deity I have the easiest access to._

_Plus, that means I also have an excuse to punch Failcaiah. Heh…_

_...god, I'm a horrible person._

* * *

**A/N: I think it might be best if I cut this off here.**

**So… apologies this took so long? I probably could have pumped this out a month or so earlier, but I kept putting it off in favor of working on my other stories. Make no mistake, though - this tale's **_**far **_**from over.**

**Here, we see Andrew interacting with all of the Mercenaries in one big sequence. I tried to write them as well as I could, but I suppose whether or not you guys like them will be the real confirmation on how I did. So, fire away. But, please, if you think something's wrong, at least tell me why you think so and maybe give me a point to start at towards fixing it? Criticism without evidence is pretty much just complaining, and that doesn't really help anyone. Or at least, that's what my dad used to say. (Though that was more on the subject of whiners, and those words of wisdom probably weren't exclusive to him.)**

**I'ma be honest - Andrew's conversation with Greil was pretty much just a way to force the MC to get a front-row seat to the Greil's Fall cutscene. Otherwise, he would've stayed inside his room and refused to help, because he's me and I'd pick the obvious safe option any day. But the commander can be pretty inspiring when the situation calls for it. (Not to mention he triggers my fear of disobeying authority.) Nothing really changes in the grand scheme of things because Andrew's a fucking pussy and doesn't want to deal with whatever fresh hell the world will visit upon him in return for screwing with the timeline and somehow bullshitting out a way to let Greil live. (And because I'm lazy.)**

**Speaking of that cutscene, I probably could have handled that in a more original way, but… ehh, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. All I really ended up doing was putting some lipstick on it and calling it a day.**

**(Incidentally, that same lack of ability to give a shit is also the reason why I'm currently failing English. I'm not worried, though - right now, only a few assignments have been graded, and I have a lot more left to do, so as long as I put in the effort to shoo away the came-a-year-early senioritis, I should be fine. Now stop worrying about my situation get back to dealing with yours - I don't warrant that kind of attention. This is just a cheap way to poke fun at myself in front of everyone.)**

**Anyway, I think that's quite enough of an interlude. Seriously, this thing's almost 8,000 words long, and all it is in-game is just a couple of talking heads and an FMV. If I didn't know better, I'd say this was filler. **

**Getting back on track, though, the next chapter will cover the second defense chapter of the game, featuring the sparky hungry girl you all know and love. You can't help but wonder - if she met Stahl, or Effie, would they hit it off, or become bitter rivals constantly competing to see who could get the most food? I suppose we'll never know…**

**...at least until she gets put into Heroes. (Come on, IntSys. You know the fans want more Tellius.)**

**(...on second thought, it might be better if you put Jugdral or Binding Blade at the forefront more. I need muh Fiana Freeblades, man. Especially Orsin. And he better be busted as shit. WHERE MAH PUGI AT?! THE PUGI DEMANDS REPRESENTATION!)**

**Meh, whatever. See you all soon. Maybe. Hopefully.**

**[TRANSMISSION ENDED]**


	8. Why So Serious?

The rest of the night was a blur.

The only things I remember clearly are Titania running out to us, handing Greil over to Rhys, and Rhys declaring that he was gone. Everything else is a big blank.

It just seemed like it happened so damn _fast_. A few hours ago, he had been fine, the picture of health even. Now, he was dead, just like that. There wasn't any hope of bringing him back - this was one of the few 'verses in the series that didn't have a version of the Valkyrie staff. Greil was gone.

I don't think that really sunk in until the late morning of the following day, when we buried him. The funeral was a silent affair. Nobody dared to ruin the moment, whether out of respect, or shock, or disbelief, I can't say.

I didn't cry. I hadn't done that in a long time. But it still felt like I'd lost something. I hadn't even known him very well. All I had to go off on him was what the games had revealed, and that last conversation with him about his wife. That was it. And yet, when we lowered his body into the dirt, the weight of it hit me like an Eclipse to the face.

But I knew that what Mia and I felt was nothing compared to what everyone else was going through. They'd known Greil for years, and had done so much more with him. All we did was get broken out of prison by him and accompany him for a few days before he was killed. No matter what we did now, their pain would always be greater than ours.

Even so… I couldn't shake the feeling that, somehow, I shared at least some of the blame for this outcome. Could I have done something different? Could I have walked out earlier and stalled for Caineghis? Could I have stopped this from happening? I must have been sent here for a reason. Did I already fail my mission? I had no idea. But the what-ifs didn't change that on some level, I had refused to offer any meaningful help.

Even with this completely broken ability, in the end, I was still a coward.

Shinon and Gatrie were the first to leave. I got the inkling that the sniper really wanted to smash something soon, and who could blame him? He'd just lost the one man in the world that he actually respected. I guessed that the knight followed along to give him some company, so he'd at least have a listener to scream at.

A little later, Mia and I decided that we should probably leave the rest to have their moment and made our way back to the castle. After entering, we found our room and sat on our respective beds. Neither of us felt much like talking, until Mia broke the ice in a quiet, subdued voice.

"...well, guess that's that, huh?"

"Yeah."

"...I don't feel like sparring today."

"Me neither."

That was all that really needed to be said. We sat there in silence for what seemed like hours, until Oscar eventually called everyone for a late lunch. Ike and Mist were absent, presumably still at the grave. Titania was off having a discussion with the members of the merchant convoy who'd arrived recently. Shinon looked to be a few wrong looks away from blowing his top, while Gatrie occasionally nervously glanced toward him.

For a long while, nobody spoke, as if talking about the recent events would cement them in reality for good. Titania eventually came in and got some food of her own before joining us. Everyone ate as if they were on autopilot, like they weren't really there. Just going through the motions to desperately try and maintain a shred of normalcy.

Then Shinon finished his meal, and bluntly announced that he was leaving before walking out. Gatrie gave us a worried look before following suit. The three green-haired brothers shared a look of their own before going after them. Soren narrowed his eyes before leaving himself. Titania was the last to pursue.

Mia and I stood up, and I considered joining them, but once I heard angry shouts coming from their direction, I grabbed my partner's shoulder and her attention before shaking my head.

"Let's go. This isn't our place to interfere."

She directed a worried look of her own towards the hallway everyone else had disappeared down, before turning back to me and nodding.

"...alright."

We returned to our room soon after and resumed our previous activity - that is to say, sulking and nothing else.

...until Mia decided that wasn't acceptable.

All of a sudden, she stood up, strode over to me, and put her hands on my shoulders.

"Andrew."

"Yeah?"

"C'mon. We're going for a jog."

"Okay."

I didn't see any reason not to. If this was her method of coping, that was fine by me. I'd support her no matter what she decided to do.

Coincidentally, we ran into Ike and Mist while we were heading for the start of our route.

Even though they looked fine from the outside, it was easy to mistake them for walking corpses. Their movements held little, if any life, their eyes dull and unfocused. Mia tried to get a response out of Ike, but ended up stonewalled.

"Heya, boss. Gonna go get some food, I hope?"

All she got was a noncommittal grunt. She tried Mist next, but was met with silence instead.

_...jeez. It's like they've shut down completely. I'd assume them to be at least somewhat receptive, but to practically ignore us like that? Damn…_

"Mia… I don't think now's the time. Leave them be. We'll come back to them when they're ready."

She obviously didn't want to believe that, but nodded anyway and continued on.

Soon enough, we reached our designated starting point, and prepared for our exercise. Once that was taken care of, we squared up.

"Ready?"

"Let's do this."

"Go!"

* * *

We didn't stop until the increasing lack of light forced us to. For me that was understandable, but I was starting to wonder about Mia's condition. It looked like she didn't even notice how much she was pushing herself. I wasn't one to stop her now, but I was worried she might have gone to exhaustion if not for the natural interruption.

When we got back, we walked in on a conversation between all but two of the remaining mercenaries.

Or, to be more accurate, Titania rattling off all the things Ike was now expected to do as the new leader of the company. Silver lining, we came in at the tail end.

"Titania!"

She stopped herself at Ike's intervention. "Yes?"

"I know I said everything, but I don't think piling it all at my feet at once is going to do me any good. I won't be able to keep up with every little thing right from the start. I think it might be better if you showed me the ropes as I go along. If that's okay with you?"

A minor embarrassed blush rose to the deputy commander's face. "Oh… yes, of course. My apologies. Got a little carried away there, didn't I…"

Ike waved it off. "Alright, then. I'll take over for now. You look like you need some rest anyhow."

Titania attempted to brush that off, but her somewhat haggard appearance combined with the yawn she let out after replying with "I'm fine" said otherwise. And the new commander was having none of it.

"You don't have to worry so much. I'm inexperienced, but I don't believe I'm incompetent. Get some rest - that's an order. I'll do my best to manage things here."

The 'order' comment finally got her to concede.

"Yes… Commander."

With that, she left the room.

Now that that was cleared up, I decided it was time to make our presence known.

"Well, it seems like we missed something big. Hey, Commander! Mind telling us what just happened?"

He turned to me. "Oh, Andrew, hello. I've accepted the mantle as the new commander, as you already know by now. Shinon and Gatrie have left the company, obviously because of my lack of experience."

He glanced off to the side. "Well, either that or because Shinon just really hates my guts and Gatrie doesn't want to leave him hanging."

He returned his attention to us. "In any case, Titania just finished explaining to me exactly what I'm expected to do as the leader of the Greil Mercenaries. I've apparently got quite a lot on my plate, but then again, I am a pretty big eater, if I do say so myself."

Mia interjected. "That's what I like to hear! Nice to see that you got yourself outta that funk you were in earlier. For a second there, I thought you were gone for good. But it looks like you pulled yourself together pretty well!"

He… well, what he did wasn't quite a chuckle, nor was it a scoff. A choff, maybe? A chuff? A scuckle? Whatever.

Actually, forget that last one, that was terrible.

"Oh, believe me, I'm still in a thousand pieces right now. But if father's last order to me was to take care of the company, then… who am I to refuse?"

I processed that for a second. Then I walked up and slapped my hand on Ike's shoulder.

"You're gonna go _far_ in this business, boss-man."

This was obviously a new experience for him, if his fumbling reaction was anything to go by. "Ah-um… okay? Thank… you?"

_Feel like that would've been funnier if I'd simply said '__**hey.**_' _Then again, this isn't the time for comedy._

I took my hand off. "You're welcome. Anyway, we just got back from a little pick-me-up run, so I was thinking we'd just sit around 'til Oscar calls us all for dinner. That said, you got anything to maybe fill that void?"

He contemplated that. "Well, I was going to go check up on everyone else first, so just wait a little while until I get back and we'll see if we can figure something out. Is that fine by you?"

Mia flashed a thumbs-up and a smile. "Sounds great, boss! See ya in a few!"

At our admission, Ike left with a nod.

A sigh escaped me while I ran my hand over my face and through my hair.

_It's fine… everything's gonna be fine. They're not gonna lose hope. This isn't an impossible task. C'mon, we've got this. Okay… okay._

* * *

Morning came all too soon.

Of course, I didn't sleep a wink. My mind was still racing from previous events, along with all the possibilities of different actions I could have taken. I thanked my lucky stars that the system had pre-conditioned my brain to be immune to sleep deprivation, otherwise I would have gone mad a long time ago.

Adding on to that was the certainty that we were going to be attacked today, and pretty soon at that. I found myself heading down to the armory at the crack of dawn, to make sure that everyone had a weapon that wasn't about to break, or failing that, a substitute weapon.

To my surprise, I ran into Soren when I arrived, who eyed me suspiciously but refrained from saying anything. I returned the favor, silently appreciating his respect for some peace and quiet. He looked to be running a standard issue inventory check, possibly having had the same idea as me.

In the end, I concluded that none of us would be sitting on the bench in the next few hours due to a lack of means to battle. Most of the instruments of war were still in serviceable condition, and the ones close to useless were all for fighters who had back-up weapons in stock. I had to admit, the ability to check the number of uses for every tool we had was a real boon, and I had no doubts that it would become quite the handy little feature in the near future, once we started getting rarer, more fragile pieces of work.

Satisfied with my findings, I left the room and strolled back to my co-ed spot. Mia was up by then, and had just finished getting her headband into place when I walked in.

"Oh. You awake?" I called out.

She turned to me. "Not entirely, but I know a quick cure for that. You, me, the ring, five minutes."

A single brow of mine raised itself.

_Huh. She seems determined not to let all this crap drag her down. I can respect that._

"All right, make that four. Let's go."

In the end, we were technically both right. It took closer to four minutes to actually reach the ring, and five passed before the match actually began.

Going in, I ended up having an advantage for the first match since she was ever-so-slightly more sluggish, having just gotten out of bed and all. That ended up giving me the win, tying us out for the very first time at 7 - 7. Of course, she didn't take that lying down, and laid me flat the next bout, giving her back her one-victory lead at 8 - 7.

After that, she made good on her promise, albeit a day late, and helped me work on the deflection technique that had given me the win against Boyd. After a few failed attempts and a little coaching, I was able to pull it off semi-reliably. I said that was good enough, and that we could work on it more later.

We called it off there, figuring we'd woken up enough to go the rest of the day. Besides, it was getting close to breakfast time anyway.

Unfortunately, it wasn't meant to be. Three guesses as to why, and the first two don't count.

We had both decided to start heading back inside once we felt a few raindrops hit us from the increasingly gray skies, but when we gave a cursory glance toward the nearest window outside the walls…

"What the…? Oh, you've _got _to be kidding me."

"Seriously?! Even after reaching Gallia, they're _still _after us? You know, in any other situation, I'd admire their persistence, but this is just starting to get annoying!"

I groaned.

"Well, we should probably head back and meet up with Ike. We'll decide how to handle this there."

* * *

"Okay. Is everyone ready?"

"I'm ready."

"Ready."

"Let's do this!"

"Ready, boss!"

"Let's go."

"Ready for action."

"Good to go."

"Alright, then. Greil Mercenaries, move out!"

We split up into our planned groups and implemented our strategy. Ike drew his Regal Sword and ran forward to plug up the narrow front entrance, Soren following close behind to provide ranged support. A Hammer-packing Boyd and Titania went to go engage the armor knights on the left side, while Oscar, Mia, and I went off to the right to battle the regular foot-soldiers, my Armorslayer out of its sheath and ready to shred some metal. Rhys hung back in the center of the courtyard, ready to heal from a safe position should anyone need it.

My first opponent was the Knight acting as pointman. While he was quickly occupied by more newly-arrived enemies, Oscar was able to harry the walking wall a bit, distracting him long enough for me to get in close and score a few hits before I had to dodge out of the way of his retaliation.

**+9 EXP**

I ducked back in while he was recovering from his swing, landing the finishing blow by burying the sword into a chink in his armor.

**+29 EXP**

While he fell to the ground, I moved to assist Mia, who was dancing around an opposing Soldier, though she hadn't been able to land any real blows due to the reach of his lance. I stepped in while his back was facing me, drawing my Iron Sword and carving a cross-slash into him.

**+8 EXP**

The lancer turned around to swipe at me, leaving himself open to Mia, who stopped him by driving her blade through his chest. At that moment, a Myrmidon leapt towards me, sword held high for an overhead slash. He was quickly blocked, the two of us engaging in a brief blade-lock.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Mia using the body still stuck on her weapon as a meat shield, using it to take arrows fired at us from an enemy Archer. Before I could focus further on that, Oscar rode back in, stabbing at my opponent before galloping past. The strike broke his focus, turning the lock into an instant victory in my favor. I pushed his blade away, then sent mine into his heart.

**+28 EXP**

**LEVEL UP!**

**Number rolled: 68**

**+5 stat points**

Try as I might, I still could not resist mentally shouting those two words.

_**FIVE POINTS!**_

Like I had decided earlier, one point was spared for defense. This time, I decided on more of a defensive dump-level, upping luck, resistance, and HP, and increasing skill as a bit of an afterthought. Magic could come once I got closer to a location that could actually house some dark tomes, i.e. Begnion, or Daein if that ended up being a bust.

**Level: 12^ +1**

**HP: 26^ +1**

**STR: 13**

**MAG: 7**

**SKL: 10^ +1**

**SPD: 13**

**LCK: 11^ +1**

**DEF: 12^ +1**

**RES: 8^ +1**

Coming out of the level-pause, I borrowed Mia's tactic and kept the corpse on my sword, using it as an improvised pincushion. We charged the Archer together, my partner reaching him first and knocking him back by kicking the Soldier's dead body off her sword and towards him. While the bowman was stunned, I dropped my extra dead weight (thank god for that. Seriously, grown men are _heavy_) and charged the guy, delivering an uppercut swipe that comboed into a horizontal sweep, sending him crashing to the ground.

**+8 EXP**

I left him there for Mia to finish off, instead focusing on the Fighter barreling towards me. I felt a vague sense of familiarity, then realized that the strike coming my way was almost a perfect replica of the one that had cost Boyd his match against me two days prior.

_Well, here goes nothing-!_

Still allowing the system to help me out a little, I directed my body to perform the same practiced series of motions needed to successfully pull off the deflection. And to my pleasant surprise, it actually worked, sending the axe-wielder spinning away. My best orange-clad friend stepped back in to help, flooring the guy with two quick strikes. I felt this battle deserved an epic conclusion, so I decided to perform a flashy, slightly over-the-top Ending Blow, somersaulting over Mia and plunging my sword through the Fighter's chest.

**+28 EXP**

_Heh. The Hero's Shade would be proud._

Something about that thought seemed to resonate with me.

_Wait. Shade…_

Unfortunately, Mia unintentionally cut that short. "Huh…? Hey, Andrew, look over there!"

The call-out derailed my train of thought, and I regained awareness to let out a supremely intellectual "whuh?" I then saw that she was pointing somewhere, and turned to look at it.

For some reason, the object of interest was just a regular old wall.

"What exactly am I looking at?"

I looked back at her, whereupon she adopted a somewhat indignant expression and insistently pointed some more. "The girl right there! The one with the miniskirt and boots!"

_Miniskirt and boots? Oh boy, keep her away from Mangs. Heh._

For whatever reason, my brain was appallingly slow on the uptake today, which explained why I still hadn't connected the dots yet. Then again, a sneaky girl wearing what she was could fit the description of a lot of people.

I turned back to where Mia was pointing. "I don't see no girl. You sure you're-"

_**WHUMP!**_

"-oh, okay."

I was interrupted when the girl she described seemingly materialized out of nowhere and bonelessly hit the deck like a sack of bricks.

_Wait, isn't that… oh. _

_Shit._

_...Anna, how many spot checks did I just fail?_

**-{ Anna }-**

**One too many, buddy. One too many.**

We rushed over to the collapsed body. I checked our surroundings, and found them to be thankfully void of aggressors. For the time being, at least. Returning my attention to the victim, I saw Mia checking if she was awake.

"Hey, hey! You alright?"

She muttered something inaudible.

My partner moved her head closer. "Say again?"

The mutter was louder this time. By this point, I had reached the downed form and lowered my ears as well.

"Hungry…"

_...why am I not surprised?_

I resisted the urge to slap myself at the obvious-in-hindsight reason for her current state. Instead, I used that energy to reach into my satchel to discreetly access the Convoy, pulling out a run-of-the-mill apple to hand to her.

"Hungry, eh? Well, it's not much, but here. Hopefully, it'll tide you over until we can get some real food in that belly."

She reached up and took the fruit off my hand…

...and not ten seconds later, I was staring at an apple core sitting in her palm.

Mia was completely dumbfounded. "Uh… wow. I don't think I've ever seen anyone eat that fast. Not even the boss."

Considering Ike's usual actions at the table, that was no small statement. Hell, the night everything went to shit, I'd seen him polish off a whole slab of steak in a little more than a minute. But _this… _this was unprecedented, and quite frankly, utterly ludicrous.

Nevertheless, the snack did its job, and she sat up. "Thank you…"

I snapped out of my stupor to acknowledge it. "Oh, no problem. But what's a girl like you doing in the middle of a battlefield?"

She stood up slowly. "Those soldiers… I w-was separated from the merchant convoy I was traveling with, and they found me wandering the path. When they saw I was carrying a tome, they c-conscripted me and forced me to join the attack."

I already knew beforehand where this conversation usually went, so picking out the right words to say was noticeably easier. "Merchant convoy, eh? You wouldn't happen to be talking about the same people that arrived here yesterday, right?"

Her head swiveled to my direction. "W-what?! You mean… t-they're here?!"

I absently adjusted the hood of my Wanderer's Cloak, having donned the garment in an attempt to keep my head out of the rain. So far, it was doing fine, but it was starting to get a little cold. "Yeah, assuming that you were traveling with a weapon merchant named Muston, an item seller named Aimee, and two other guys that I can't remember the professions of."

A smile appeared on her face. "Yes, that's them! Oh, thank the gods! Where are they now?"

I jerked my thumb back towards the main building. "They should be hiding in there at the moment. We offered them protection from Daein, and they accepted. In fact, our deputy commander came to an arrangement with them yesterday, and they'll be coming along with us for the foreseeable future."

I leaned forward slightly. "You know, when you think about it, there's hardly a reason at all for us to fight, and that's not counting the fact that I did kinda just save you from starvation. How would you feel about joining our merry band?"

She nodded. "I would very much like to do that, thank you."

I fist-pumped. "Okay, great. I heard you say you had a tome earlier?"

She pulled out the aforementioned item. "Yes, I'm a traveling mage. I specialize in Thunder magic."

I glanced back towards the main building. "Alright, perfect. I'd ask whether or not you wanted to fight, but something tells me that would be pointless. There is the matter of compensation for your services, but I'm sure our commander will take care of that once we introduce you."

I stopped for a second, then face-palmed. "Aaaand I just realized that we haven't introduced ourselves yet. Whoops, I guess? Anyway, I'm Andrew, former student. The swordswoman here is Mia. What's your name, miss mage?"

She pulled her tome to her chest, crossed her arms around it, and performed a small bow. Think Light Mage Micaiah's victory animation. "I'm Ilyana. I'll be in your care. I hope you find me helpful."

I turned my attention back forward, and noticed Oscar making his way back towards us from a recon run. "Great. So, now that that's squared away, let's see what our horseman has to say."

_Did I just unconsciously rhyme?_

I called out. "Yo, Oscar! What's the verdict?"

He came to a halt, rearing up his horse as he slowed it down. "We've got more swordsmen and lancers approaching from both the north and the south. I also saw some armored troops in the northern area. Thankfully, I managed to neutralize a healer while I was out, so at least we don't have to worry about them retreating to lick their wounds and coming back later. All told, well, we've certainly got our work cut out for us."

I puffed out a breath while I ran my hand through my hair. "Sheesh, really sounds like they're pulling out all the stops. Then again, I suppose I should expect nothing less from what basically amounts to a suicide mission. Hope the others are doing all right. Okay, then, let's go."

Oscar once again took point, and we soon found ourselves assaulted by the aforementioned swordsmen and lancers. My first opponent was another Myrmidon, though this one was carrying a heavy-looking Iron Blade. Determining that it was a bad idea to go against such a thick weapon with the admittedly flimsy Iron Sword, I swapped it out for my Steel Sword, as I no longer suffered from any weight penalties it could inflict.

However, I soon found that the action was rendered moot due to the difficulty my enemy had with using the blade. It was clear to see that the weight was throwing off his aim and ease of use, which gave me a much easier time avoiding his swings. I ended up giving him two hard and fast strikes that sent him stumbling away before my attention was grabbed by another Soldier.

**+8 EXP**

Now this guy right here, he actually had a pretty good idea of what he was supposed to be doing. Of course, he was nowhere near Oscar's level, but he still managed to set up a pretty good defense, keeping out of my effective range while freely jabbing at me with the pointy end of his stick. Given time, I probably could have broken it on my own, but what happened next made doing that unnecessary.

Without warning, a jagged yellow beam streaked down from the heavens and nailed the Soldier, preceding a definitely muted but still quite imposing sound of thunder. The man screamed and fell to his knees, not dead, but almost certainly feeling like a slab of finely-cooked meat.

With him incapacitated, I prepared to finish the job, only for my ears to register a warning.

"Andrew, l-look out!"

Unfortunately, it came too late, though it did allow me to attempt to dodge and thus negate further damage. The desperation attack of the Myrmidon hit home, slicing diagonally through my chest and down to my stomach area, leaving behind an ugly red trail.

"GNRRAH!"

_MOTHERFUCKER!_

In a fit of revenge-fueled rage, I smashed my sword hand into his nose, sending him to the floor, then stabbed my blade right between his eyes.

**+28 EXP**

I turned to go and finish off the Soldier, but I was instead met with the sight of a sword held by my partner sticking out of his chest, before she pulled it out and rushed over to me. "Hey, hey! You good?"

I looked at the wound - which had already disappeared and left behind a trail of ripped shirt and torn leather vest. I hoped she wasn't able to see that I appeared unharmed, as that would raise quite a few questions. Sure, I trusted her, don't get me wrong, but not that much. I'd say we were at C-support level right now, if anything, probably less. Revealing my true nature would be an A-support conversation thing, or possibly a B. But not C.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Nothing a vulnerary and a check-up can't fix." I then glanced behind her. "By the way, you might wanna dodge."

She didn't question the warning, leaping off to the side right before a sword cut through the air where she used to be. The lack of resistance apparently came as a surprise to the weapon's wielder, leaving him open for two weakening slashes, capped off by Mia flipping over my head to land a devastating smash attack that K.O.'d him.

**+8 EXP**

I decided now was a good time to heal, so I started chugging away at my supplied Vulnerary.

_Funny how these things are almost never used in-game because grinding for staff EXP is so much more economical, but here, I just can't get away from 'em. Not that I want to. If this is what it's like for me now, then… ooohh. Radiant Dawn's gonna be __**fuuuuun**__._

I heard another sound of thunder right after that. Glancing in the direction it came from revealed another medium-rare Soldier falling prey to the business end of Oscar's Lance and slumping over.

I pulled the container away from my mouth and held it up to my partner, despite the fact that her HP gauge was still full. "Heals?"

She held up a hand. "Thanks, but nah. Save that for when we really need it."

"Right, good call." I pocketed the salve and sheathed my blade, pulling out my Armorslayer again. "I think Oscar said we'd have armored troops headed our way, so we should probably go deal with that."

We advanced and met up with our other two allies, then held our position until the aforementioned units came close enough.

One was carrying a Javelin, and quickly proved himself a nuisance. The other one, restricted to melee range, was taking a while to make his way over to us, so Mia and I used that extra time to distract the ranged one and draw his fire so Ilyana could snipe him with impunity. He collapsed in a well-done heap right before the guy with the Steel Lance made contact.

Needless to say, he didn't last too long. While he was skilled, there was no way he could've hit Mia or Oscar while they were double-teaming him from opposite sides. With his attention split, I was able to move in and deliver a fatal lunging stab that somehow had me phase right through him.

_What the- was that a crit? __**Man**__, is it weird to experience that kind of animation from a first-person view…_

Whatever the case may have been, it still counted as my kill.

**+28 EXP**

**LEVEL UP!**

**Number rolled: 23**

**+3 stat points**

_Oh, for fuck's sake…_

I knew I didn't really have a right to complain, given that I'd never get a level-up with less than three stat-ups unless my stats were capped, unlike the others, but it still hurt.

_Ah, well. No use crying over it. I'll just have to make do._

I simply decided to ping HP, skill, and defense. The holy trinity of strength, speed, and defense would start next level.

**Level: 13^ +1**

**HP: 27^ +1**

**STR: 13**

**MAG: 7**

**SKL: 11^ +1**

**SPD: 13**

**LCK: 11**

**DEF: 13^ +1**

**RES: 8**

Oscar spoke when I came out of the level-pause. "That seems to be all of them, at least for now. Overextending ourselves would be a bad idea, especially in this state, so I propose that we pull back to the front yard entryway. All in favor?"

He received nods in response. "All right then, let's go."

We promptly retreated. Once we arrived at our designated choke-point, we waited, while occasionally glancing across the yard to the other entrances. Everyone appeared to still be going strong, though it was hard to make out any minor details at this distance.

Rhys swung by for a quick group heal-cast, just in case. Could never be too careful - or too paranoid. The HP bars could be faulty or something.

Build an army, trust nothing. Not even the official strategy guide (_especially _not the official strategy guide). Fire Emblem, everyone. Only on GameCube.

Heh.

Anyway, a little while later, a few more reinforcements arrived. This time, it was simply two soldiers accompanied by a mage. I once again pulled out my Iron Sword. I was confident that we had this random encounter in the bag, but again, you could never be too careful.

_Cue the music._

But first… "Hey, Ilyana. You see the tome that guy's carrying?"

"Yes. Fire, right?"

"You know what to do, then. We'll keep the lancers occupied."

"Thank you."

I gestured her off for her little magic duel, while Oscar, Mia and I advanced towards the two Soldiers. Naturally, me and my partner grouped up against one, leaving our Lance Knight to fend for himself against the other. Thus, we began our double duel amidst the sounds of pattering rain, fireballs exploding, and brilliant arcs of pure electricity streaking towards their targets.

Our current target seemed to continue the trend of the majority of Soldier-class units surpassing their expected competency levels compared to other enemy classes. Not only was he able to keep us from touching him for quite a while, he also scored quite a few grazes and narrow hits on both of us. He even managed to somehow coordinate a spur-of-the-moment pincer strike with his fellow Soldier on me. Thankfully, only one of the lances used actually hit me, but it was still a Steel Lance, and thus hurt quite a bit, even with my 13 points of Defense. Not helping were all the errant spells that occasionally flew our way, requiring quick reflexes and more than a little luck to escape from unscathed.

Nonetheless, we kept at it, and our perseverance was rewarded after a trying fight. We managed to trap him in a situation that forced him to defend from both the front and back, and while he was certainly strong, his weapon of choice was still a little too heavy for him to carry without any drawbacks, costing him enough speed to the point where he was just shy of being able to keep up with the dual strike. A slice on his left side and a cut on his right arm courtesy of yours truly was the beginning of his end.

**+7 EXP**

The wounds broke his concentration, leaving him open for impalement with extreme prejudice on Mia's blade. She then shoved him off, leaving him to crumple to the ground.

A look to the left saw Oscar redirecting the other Soldier's lance to a harmless path, then sending his own right into the enemy's neck.

A look to the right saw Ilyana dashing at the opposing Mage to brutally bash his face in with her tome, after which he was subject to who-knew-how-many volts of magically-generated electricity.

_Holy hell, that was savage… I guess that above-average strength growth of hers isn't just for show. Wonder if I can find a way to utilize that properly…_

Suffice to say, wave 3 was done for. But…

"Haa… man, this is tiring. I don't know how long I'll be able to hold out if they keep coming like this…"

Though I may have had unlimited stamina, the same couldn't be said for any of my allies. Mia had a point. If they could just keep throwing bodies at us, then we would eventually become too exhausted to continue the battle, and subsequently die.

Of course, having foreknowledge, I knew that we would be saved by the laguz at some point. But I had no way of knowing how long we needed to survive for. All the post-battle cutscene gave us was that the Greil Mercenaries had been effectively out of energy by the time they received backup. No time-stamps, no estimations, nothing else in regards to the time of rescue. Checking the conditions menu said that we only needed to defend the castle for one more turn to clear the map, but that wasn't accurate since the cutscene showed Ike and company on the verge of defeat and gathered in the front yard of the castle.

_Shit… for all I know, the real assault's only just begun. If they manage to tire everyone else out before help arrives… one or more of us may not survive._

I continued to rest and marinate in thoughts of this nature for a little while longer. Idly, I noticed that the large, flashing red dot on the map denoting the chapter boss was nowhere to be found

Then… more reinforcements arrived.

Only this time, it was in far greater numbers.

Hulking suits of armor, swordsmen, lancers, axefighters, archers, mages… all of them, and more.

Oscar gulped. "Oh, dear. I don't think we can win against those numbers…"

I was seriously inclined to agree. "Yeah, me neither. Do we pull back, or...?"

I glanced behind me, and saw Rhys rushing towards us. When he arrived, he delivered a report and a refresher.

"The commander's issued a retreat order. We're going to fall back and regroup inside the castle. He thinks we may be able to last longer if we can restrict the flow of enemies using the gate."

I looked back to the approaching horde. "Solid move, but against a force of this size… I dunno. Still, I suppose we have to try. Alright, everyone, you heard him! Let's move!"

We relocated to the front of the castle in short order, and were joined by the rest of our comrades in the same manner. Most, if not all of them showed signs of heavy exhaustion, no doubt from how long we'd been fighting and all the wounds they'd suffered. Ike and Boyd in particular, as one was responsible for stopping a bunch of mounted knights cold at the front entrance, while the other was instrumental in the downfall of the East's numerous amount of armored troops.

"Brother!"

_What th- oh, right, she comes out too._

Ike about-faced at the sudden arrival. "Mist? Why are you...? I told you to-!"

She cut him off right then. "I don't care!"

"What-?"

She did it again when enemies began to stream in from the openings. "We're trapped. There's no way we could get past all those soldiers. This is the end for us, isn't it? We're all going to die here, aren't we?"

While we spent time talking and breathing heavily, the enemy forces approached and surrounded us from the front. Now that they were all consolidated together, I found that there actually weren't that many of them. A rough estimate gave me the result of only around 30 troops total, at most, likely less, though there were definitely more in the surrounding walls. An admittedly small force, but far more than enough to finish us off.

I turned to Ike, who had briefly fallen silent. "Commander… she's not wrong. I'd like to think I did well in math class, and that knowledge is telling me that our chances are slim, if not nonexistent. I hate to admit it, but they've got us beaten."

I felt like Captain Price during the endgame of MW2. Outgunned, outnumbered, staring death in the face, with almost no hope of survival.

For the Daein soldiers, it was a suicide mission.

But the way things were now, that also applied to us.

Ike processed my words. "...that may be true, but I won't give up that easily. Mist, no matter what, you and Rolf are getting out of this alive, and shooting straight for the palace. Once you get there, stay with Princess Elincia."

She shut that down hard. "No! I'm not going to let you trade your life for mine! I'm staying here with everyone - with you!"

Ike didn't respond. Mist took that as a cue to press her point. "I couldn't care less about death as long as I'm with you. If you're going to die, then I'm going with you. We'll go see Mother and Father again, and we'll do it together, as brother and sister."

She stepped up to him, and grabbed two handfuls of his shirt, tears threatening to spill out of her sockets. "So, please… stop telling me to leave you, because I won't. I can't. Not after everything. I can't leave any of you behind. Not again. Okay?"

I had to admit, her usage of pathos was on point, and judging by his reaction, Ike was of the same mind. "...all right, then. Stay at my side."

Mist let go of his shirt with a small smile. "Thank you, Brother."

Ike turned back to face the enemy. "One thing, though… you're not going to the afterlife just yet."

"Huh?"

He readied his blade. "I'm going to protect you. I gave Father my word. You're not dying if I can help it."

"Ike…" was all Mist could respond to that with.

The apparent new leader of the enemy forces - who just so happened to also be encased in heavy black armor - stepped forward at that moment.

"Mercenaries of Crimea. You have performed admirably well in the face of overwhelming odds, and have even managed to defeat our commander. For that, you have our respect. But it all ends here. If you must pray, then do so now, and prepare to meet your maker."

Everyone else tensed at that. It was clear for them to see that in a few hot minutes, this courtyard would be drenched not only with rain, but blood.

But as for me, well… I was counting.

_Five, four, three, two, one, and…_

"AAAHHH! NOOOO!"

_There they are. Thank god._

Upon hearing the scream, the temp-leader, along with the majority of his troops glanced around for the source. "W-what? Who was that?"

Then, from the East entrance, came a large cat with a green ribbon wrapped around its neck. From the front entrance, behind the soldiers, approached a massive blue tiger. The fangs and claws of both were stained red.

What happened next could only be described as a chaotic curb-stomp battle.

Both the cat and the tiger immediately fell upon the soldiers, tearing quite a few apart and completely dominating the opposition. Blood splatters flew every which way. What little foes managed to escape through the west entrance were running with their tails between their legs.

When it was over, the yard was littered with bodies. The rain was still coming down, fruitlessly trying to wash away the crimson liquid that now coated the grass.

The two laguz shifted back to their human forms, and the rest of us slumped over and let out a collective sigh.

_It's over… finally._

* * *

While Ike and the two furries were having their merry little discussion, I was having one of my own.

"That was a little too close for comfort, huh?"

"Oh, yeah. I probably could have gone a little longer if it was still just a few at a time, but against that many enemies… if we hadn't been saved, I don't think even the sub-boss could have made it out alive."

"We were unimaginably lucky today. If those two hadn't arrived when they did, we'd more than likely be down one or more members by now."

"Sheesh… what a double-whammy that would be, huh? First your commander, then some of your friends… who knows what kinda state we'd be in if they were just a little later..."

A fit of silence. Then…

"...we're not letting this happen again if we can help it, are we?"

"Definitely. Think we can invite a few more people to our early-morning sessions?"

"Not sure. We'll have to get a good read on everyone's sleeping habits before we do. Figure out which of us are morning people and all that."

"Right, that makes sense. Same time tomorrow?"

"You know it. As long as our schedule allows it, of course. Something tells me we won't be staying put for much longer."

"Alright."

We knocked knuckles. WHEN SUDDENLY…

_**GROOAAAR!**_

"MORDECAI! KILL HIM!"

_Oh, __**hell**__. Here we go again…_

* * *

**A/N: So I guess you can expect most of my stories to update once a month, apparently? I dunno, seems like I've unconsciously created some unholy abomination that just so happens to bear a passing resemblance to a writing schedule.**

**Of course, there are a few exceptions to this rule, but they're for relatively obscure fandoms, so who really gives a shit, am I right?**

**I think I may have grossly overestimated the average enemy level for this chapter, but hey, it's my story, so… *holds up Infinity Gauntlet* **_**reality can be whatever I want**_**. Besides, I can always just say it's some weird difficulty setting fusion that combines Hard's enemy density with Maniac's level average and Normal's EXP rates. In essence, just the right amount of quality enemies that provide lots of level-up opportunities and a challenging experience, without just flooding the maps with boatloads of troops and calling it a day.**

**On an unrelated note… WHO'S HYPED FOR THREE HOUSES?! WOOOOOOO!**

**Personally, I empathize somewhat with Bernadetta (big surprise there, I know), but I'm also fairly interested in Lysithea, and at this point it feels like Raphael is just going to be one big meme. Not to mention Dorothea's ridiculous amount of SUTANDO POWA. I have no idea which house I'm going to pick first, but right now I'm debating between Black Eagles and Golden Deer because Claude seems like a pretty chill dude ****and is also a pretty big meme already** **and Edelgard is literally the first axe lord we've gotten since Hector.**

**Anyway, next time we get to see Andy interacting with everyone's favorite tsun-tsun cat and maybe with the big tiger. Who knows, we may even get an "OOOOOHHH!" Or maybe spontaneous synchronized singing. **

**(If you don't know what I'm referencing, you don't deserve to know.)**

**See you in maybe a month or something!**

**[TRANSMISSION ENDED]**


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